family in labour ward

[BBLucy1891]

I've insulted my mother by saying I only want my partner to be with me in the labour ward. I love my mum but she is just too anxious a person. My mum will just worry and make me worried. I've explained all this to her, but she feels very excluded. Whats worse is that all my friends really want their mother around so I feel extra guilty - is there something wrong with me? Suddenly everyone around me has these great relationships with their mothers. Am I being unfair? She lives a while away from us so is coming to stay for a week or two, hence she'll likely be in the house when I do go into labour.

My mum won't be there she's not even being asked it's an experience for me and OH however she did make a sarcastic comment about me having a home birth so everyone could be there..yeah hold on I didn't realise this was a movie screening lol

It's gone unspoken between me and my mum that she won't be there as birth is just for me and DP... But MIL has made no secret of how put out she feels about not being invited to scans, consultant appointments and especially the birth so I feel your pain!
Her attitude has made me push her away even more, so she's not even finding out when I'm in labour, and won't know until baby is safely here! I'm not saying go that far with your DM, but I think it's important to be firm about it now... It's your labour not hers!

It hasn't crossed my mind that my mum might want to be there, and we're close. Personally I think it's a major event for me and my DH, and nobody else should really want to be there. I can understand it if you didn't have a DP, but otherwise, parents should step back and let their child be with their own family.

I only wanted DP in the room, but when the time came I ended up with my dad and his wife, DP and a bunch of midwives. Oh, and the in laws barging in as soon as he was out. At the time I was so exhausted and drugged up to even notice but I do regret it now, next time I will definitely put my foot down. Don't feel guilty, you don't need any more stress than necessary. Just tell her it's nothing personal and let her be upset.

i plan on having partner there and midwife. but if hes being a prat i will send him to get cake or something...

i dont really care whos there to be honest even if its just me and the midwife. or i dont mind if theres 8 people in the room.

anyway op you do what you want to do. its your birth. its not fair on you. that people make you feel bad

It will only be my DH there for when our son arrives - all our relatives live in Ireland so will have to travel if they want to see him within a relatively short timeframe so no chance of unwanted guests in the delivery room.

The main issue is that my DH doesn't handle hospitals well! He has been known to faint during blood tests and freaks out a bit at the smell...

Never once occurred to me that I should have my mother there. We have a great relationship, that still does not mean I want anybody else but the parents of the baby, i.e me and DH, present for the birth.

My mum always told me there was no chance she would be there. it would be too difficult watching her child in pain especially as she herself had never experienced labour (2 c-sections due to pre-eclampsia) and so she would also be pretty useless.
Even though I've had vaginal births I wouldn't contemplate wanting to see my daughter go through it. It's not a pretty experience

Laurie bloody hell - dad, his wife and in-laws??

And MIL's expecting to be at scans? Having a baby is not really some kind of spectator sport.

I love my mum to pieces but just knew that she'd completely get on my nerves if she was there! My DH knew exactly what I wanted from my birth and I knew he would keep calm and more importantly keep me calm..As it was she managed to be at my bedside less than 18 hours after giving birth, not bad considering she lives in France