o.k what would you do.......?

[bambi06]

im 40 , already have two school age primary age children, one with asd [mild autism] and have found out im pregnant[already miscarried one in april] dh adamnantly doesnt want any more kids even though he had originally wanted 4!! but now hes being very unsupportive and doesnt want to know about having any more and hopes i miscarry!! like i did earlier this year..god knows how im getting pregnant in the first place as ive used same contraception for about 15 years and everything worked well until this year and twice in one year!!! anyway what i want advice on is what would you do in this matter: possibility of having a disabled child because of age [but i would have all the tests going anyway] and with a higher risk of another child with autism..hubbie doesnt want anymore and has made that very clear but im in two minds and flatly refuse to have an abortion but if i miscarry i will accept it but im beginning to quite get into the idea of having another baby..is it because this really will be my last and thats why i want it so much or now im pregnant and hormones have kicked in it means i cant bear to chance losing it. .no eqpt at all as we gave it all away three years ago as we were sure we werent having anymore..hah!! the idea of buggies etc is not appealing but i know everyone manages but we were just starting to get our life together although how my hubby has reacted has def put a question on relationship..hes made some rather nasty comments on how to get rid of this baby ..which makes me wonder if i really did know my hubby after 14 years¬¬¬ what would everyone else do..please ..i cant sleep at night because of this dilemma..im 6 weeks pregnant so early and anything could happen but i`m severely stressed out...HELP

If it were me i would keep the baby and seriously consider your relationship with hubby. That is a disgusting thing to say that he hopes you misscarry and to cive you ideas on how to get rid of the baby!

If you really don't want an abortion and you don't misscarry i think you have answered your own question really.

Poor you. I think your dh and you need to talk, properly. Can you go for some counselling together about this pregnancy?

I have 2 and don't want any more but I am 40 too and if I did get pregnant accidentally it wouldn't necessarily be a very clear cut decision. Although I tihnk it absolutely would for dh, who doesn't want any more (nor do I but were it to happen I think it wouldn't be as simple as all that).

Oh bambi - poor you!
Not my place to say, but absolutley shocked at your hubby's reaction.
First Q would be do you want this baby?
Second Q would be would you and hubby be able to get through it ok, or is he dead set against it? Could he come round to the idea?
Yes there are risks, but every pregnancy has it's risks. Doesn't mean you'll love your baby any less if there are complications.
I found out i was pg when i had just come to uni and am only 19 - i was in a right state over it. Now 16 weeks and loving every minute. Heard heartbeat yesterday - made me cry (damn hormones!)For me - best decision i've ever made.
Is there anybody you could talk to about it, family member, close friend that may be a bit more supportive than your dh at the mo?
Don't be stressed (easier said than done says she who did everything but stay calm!)
Sending a big supportive hug x

we did discuss counselling last year when we were having issues but worked it out between us and our lives had settled down well and earlier on this year we had discussed alternative contraception , i suggested he went for the snip ..OMG the look on his face he flatly refuses and says no ones getting near there!! but hes willing for me to go through with sterilisation but wont put himself out for me and ive pointed out ive been through two births,stitches etc..plus a missed miscarriage which ended up with me poorly and hospitalized because i got an infection plus earlier on this year had another miscarriage, so i went through all this but hes not prepared to have one little op..so i`ve told him no op..no sex point blank life could spiral downhill fast in this household.. how on earth could things get so out of hand?