anxiety and pregnancy

[delilabell]

Asking for a bit of advice please.
About 5 years ago I suffered very badly with anxiety and depression.

We were going through fertility treatment at the time. We decided to stop fertility treatment,I had a short course of ad's, counselling and got sorted.
Once I was sorted we adopted and that was that.
I'm now nearly 16 weeks pregnant. Huge shock and something I should (and I think I am) excited about.

BuT I am massively anxious again. I worry the baby is going to die. I can't even look at anything to do with babies because it doesn't feel like I'm pregnant. I can't get it into my head that I am. I am anxious for ds thay he's going to be abducted. Work is stressing me too.
I don't know if this is normal pregnancy hormones or my anxiety. .
it's on my notes about it but I always say I'm fine. I worry if I say and it is anxiety that s.services will get involved.
I've been crying constantly for the past two days. I feel we're letting ds down.
Any advice would be much appreciated

I have to say I don't have anxiety (diagnosed anyway) but do experience almost debilitating episodes of it on and off, the first 6 weeks (weeks 5-11) of my pregnancy I was practically crippled by it. I don't think it's unusual, and it does ease off.

I had awful anxiety when pg with DS who is now 7. I had had anxiety for years, but it went up a notch while pregnant. Not helped by a high risk pregnancy and the fact that we assumed we could not conceive again. We had 15 year old when I got pg with DS and had given up on the idea of having another.

I too was convinced something would happen to him, even before it became apparent the pregnancy was high risk. I think this was because he was like our 'miracle baby' that we didn't think we would have. It sounds like this may be the case for you too. My baby was (and still is!!) absolutely fine and wonderful.

Against all expectations, I fell pregnant again when DS was 4 and again my anxiety went through the roof. By this time I was actually agoraphobic (still am) and needed someone with me at all appointments. I, like you, was really scared to say anything in case they got SS involved. I was actually convinced I was going to die and said silent goodbyes to my family in my head.

I had to tell them (because my BP would go up!!) and they were fine. They arranged to visit me at home and gave me options for a home birth. No one went near SS. I had my husband then 19 year old daughter for support and I don't know if that made a difference, but they were all lovely and accommodating.

Sorry, that was a bit long winded!! What I'm trying to say is that hormones can increase your anxiety, it is normal to feel something will go wrong and your midwives will not judge you because you are struggling. Congratulations on your pregnancy

Hello delilabell I had debilitating anxiety my whole life until I went onto anti-anxiety medication a few years ago. From my experience, sharing and talking about how you are feeling is the best thing you can do for yourself. The anxiety happens to you at certain life-changing times and you got over it before and you will do again.

The pregnancy hormones will be heightening any feelings you have and pregnancy is nerve-wracking for the calmest peoples. The pressure of ttc and now the pressure of everything being alright in this pregnancy is triggering your anxiety. So have an action plan - share your thoughts and feelings here and also with someone who understands in real life. Do as many things that relax you and are good for you as possible. Nurture yourself. Your confidence will hopefully grow and it will lift.

Anxiety in pregnancy is really common and nothing to be ashamed of. There's no reason SS would need to get involved. Please speak to your GP or midwife who will be able to refer you for some psych support - often a course of CBT is prescribed on the NHS for anxiety and in my experience can really help.
Also I would recommend 'the Worry Cure' by Robert Leahy (book)
Please don't suffer in silence, anxiety is so exhausting but there are lots of ways to tackle it if you seek support.

Thank you so much for the replies. I really appreciate the support.
I think I feel pressured that I should be over the moon that I'm pregnant (as people jeep telling me) but I feel like I'm being disloyal to my ds especially as a colleague said when they found out "are you going to send him back then"
I'll speak to my midwife on Wednesday. I had cbt before and I was taught all the things. I feel so cross with myself for letting myself get to this stage again.
I'm relieved that s.service won't be involved. That's a weight off my mind.

delila I can't believe your colleague said that Isn't it odd how people can say the weirdest, most inappropriate things to you when you're pregnant. I'm only 19 weeks and I've had a few already! It always seems to be from people you're not that close to.

You have been through an incredible journey - ttc, adoption, and now you're pregnant - it's wonderful and admirable and nobody's business but yours, dp, and ds - your family.

Congratulations

Suffered crippling anxiety for several years and also had CBT. I told my midwife and she was very supportive and completely in phased. They mentioned antenatal mental health services if I wanted to be referred (which I didn't).

Hypnobirthing positive affirmation tracks every night before bed and I've had additional private scans. Both have really helped me feel more reassured and confident. Still have some wobbles and sure there will be more to come but not so crippling.

The book "The power of now" I would also highly recommend!

I had OCD and anxiety in first pregnancy then CBT, this time I have briefly explained that to midwife and they were just very helpful but not at all dramatic about it and I was offered extra scans, perhaps extra scans and I don't know if you have a drop in clinic where you can hear the heartbeat,extra appointments to listen to heartbeat would help? I had a big wobble around your stage so got an extra midwife appointment to do this (no drop in clinics in my area). I also had a private early scan. If you say you have history of anxiety they also may give you shared care with a consultant which so far seems very reassuring as you can speak to an expert about your worries. Congratulations :)

Just a an update. I saw my midwife this week and she was lovely. She referred me to mental health midwife. Then she let me listen to babies heart beat which was wonderful.

Thank you all so much for your advice x x x

Great news delilabell

I don't usually suffer anxiety but feeling really anxious as my scan is in 2 weeks I suffered with brown discharge them red blood I had a scan at that showed I was 7 weeks 1 day and showed embryo and heartbeat.. Am now 11 weeks tomorrow and feel like my belly is to soft and flabby when laid flat in bed and I can't help but worry something could be wrong am teyjng my best not to worry bit it's so hard