I am going in for my induction tomorrow at 37+3, gd and other health issues. Between having my ds and this pregnancy I have had 3 misscarriages. I don't feel like I have bonded with this baby because I have been so on edge about it all ending. I have been so ill I have found it hard to be positive. What if I don't love it. I have focused so hard on keeping the baby alive inside me that I haven't thought about it being here, loving it and caring for it, how it will change our family/lives.
I feel foolish saying these things, because I know I will love my baby and it will sort of complete (for want of a better word) our family. My ds is so excited but I know my dh is nervous too I can tell.
I'm trying to stay busy, I have ran a few errands, changed the beds,put all the washing away and I am going to give myself a little pamper after checking my bags and have a sleep.
I know ultimately the thing that scares me is the thought of the pain and I'm thinking, it's one day just one day (well hopefully). I just feel a sence of dread. I know in my head I will survive, it will be ok but why can't I just calm the hell down.