will I go back to normal after pregnancy?

[BBLucy1891]

So I'm 3rd trimester, 34, first baby. Before pregnancy was energetic, fit, capable, could do 50 things at once.

From 5-15 weeks pregnant bad morning sickness - exhaustion, constant nausea, often not able to get out of bed. From 18 weeks I developed pelvic pain and sciatica - less mobile, plus exhaustion never went away in the 2nd trimester like everyone said it would. Then from around week 20 until now, constant bouts of sinusitis, plus the SPD, the back ache and...yup...the exhaustion.

I just about manage. I have to go to work because I don't get paid if I don't go in but as soon as I come home I have to lie down. Fitness? Ha! I was doing yoga once a week and trying to walk (slowly) for about 30 mins a day but even that has been shelved of late.

What I want to know, from any mums out there, is do I go back to my old self once the baby is born? People keep telling me "if you think you're exhausted now, just wait" but, seriously, I can't understand how I'll feel as bad after the baby is born as I have done all through the pregnancy. Obviously for a few weeks I'll be wrecked but I'm not sure I can cope if this is just 'it' for me now...forever!! I want to be well again!! I feel like a 90 year old woman.

Hi there, poor you!!! Sounds like you've had it tough! In my 1st pregnancy, I was lucky in many ways, didn't suffer any morning sickness and didn't have any severe conditions. I was, however, very anaemic for the last trimester. I have never, in my life, experienced exhaustion like it! I had to go on mat leave 6 weeks before my due date because I was just far too tired to be working full time, I just couldn't do it! Once my daughter was born, I had lost quite a bit of blood in the delivery, and the tiredness felt even worse. The good news is, within a few weeks, I felt myself really improving! I had moments once my daughter was born where I felt like I'd never be normal again and I couldn't even remember what normal was, but I can honestly say, sleepless nights were nowhere near as hard as I found things towards the end of pregnancy! It sounds like you really have it tough and from my experience, I'm confident that you'll find yourself back to normal before you know it! Sending hugs!!

Thanks for the kind words Sunshine511. I think what's even scarier is that we wanted 2 kids...I keep joking with my boyfriend that he'll have to start saving for a surrogate!! Don't think I could go through this again...

You do slowly get back to normal. You also forget what pregnancy and the early months are like. Which is my theory why anyone ends up with more than one! Seriously though, it is tough at the end so be kind to yourself and remember that this time will soon pass.

you will be probably be very tired from the birth and sleepless newborn (sorry)

however, for me, that was 10000% better than the late pregnancy achiness and exhaustion

so yes don't worry you will x

Are you me ??

I'm five weeks post birth. I'm very tired but physically in better nick than during pregnancy, even taking a c section into account. More importantly , I'm feeling a tiny bit better every day.

Hang in in there!

I could have written your post, OP. I too am 34, first baby and really struggling in my final few weeks (38 weeks today). I was very active pre-pregnancy, exercising several times a week and doing lots of other things. I haven't had the hardest pregnancy but I have had the first tri nausea, exhaustion and then in the second tri I got spd (pelvis cracks in the night!). I have had stop all my exercise - even walking got too painful, which has probably contributed to my spectacular 3.5 stone weight gain. I get swollen ankles & legs, back pain and stiff fingers.

I've been turning out some stuff today and found my pre-pregnancy bras - they're tiny!! I hope I will be able to wear them again and I haven't permanently changed my body.

Yes, when people say 'you think you're tired now, just wait till you have the baby, you'll never sleep again!!', it's very annoying as I'm currently not sleeping well now and haven't had a solid night's sleep since about April.

I know babies are a lot of effort and are tiring but I can't wait to get my body back, to be able to move freely, curl up on the sofa, sleep how I want in bed and just generally feel more like myself again. Just hope it's possible

CoffeeAndOranges, me too! I have put on nearly 3 stone at 31 weeks and only last week I was looking at all my old bras and it was like they belong to someone else. I feel pretty grim most of the time. And my latest indignity is that I've had a bad cough for 2 weeks and when I cough hard I pee myself...that's despite ALL the damn pelvic floor exercises which clearly don't work. I'm sure babies are hard work but I have to hold out hope that I can start to get myself together after time...surely I'll at least be able to put the baby in a buggy and go for a walk without hobbling....fingers crossed anyway!

I felt very like this with my first and am currently feeling like it again halfway through with my second. It does get half better and half worse after the birth, I lost a fair bit of blood so was anaemic afterwards but not quite enough for a transfusion, so I felt incredibly tired for quite some time afterwards. It does feel as if you have turned a corner though as you are able to slowly start building up your fitness again by being out walking with the pram. And you do eventually feel as fit or fitter than you did before (and at this point decide to do it all again!!)

You will feel better when the baby comes I promise! Yes, the first few months are pretty tiring but once they start sleeping for longer stretches you'll feel human again. I'd say by about 3 months after my son was born i was completely back to normal but with some tired days when he woke in the night. I just napped though!

My pregnancy wasn't too hard but my friend had a pregnancy like yours plus a c section and it took her a little bit longer but she got there and is always off on walking holidays etc now.

This is totally normal. You are working full time and in your 3rd trimester!

I was knackered and I was on preventative leave, so basically was at home from being 4 months pregnant. I was 31 when DS was born.

Then last month I didn't do much, tried to walk for an hour a day, keep on top of the house etc.

You'll soon be buzzing about again.

Definitely important to eat really well too, found that helped massively post birth for recovery.

I'm three weeks post birth of first baby. Textbook pregnancy and birth although very long and arduously painful prelabour. But nothing OTT in terms of the birth or the aftermath.

Normal? Not yet. I think it's a new version of normal women end up in.
Physically, for example, The tummy can become flat again but the skin will forever bear marks of stretch.

Mentally, your understanding of pain (or pressure) may forever alter the threshold of what normal means for you. Or not.

Emotionally, you will forever be vulnerable because you'll have your heart roaming about outside your body in the form of your child - and thus you will always be infinitely strong for the sake of your child.

So strength and vulnerability, flat tummy and stretched skin, new comprehension a of pain and fatigue - will all coexist and perhaps create a new version of "normal".

I'm the same. 28 weeks and just utterly exhausted. Everything aches. My bump, my back, my legs, my groin area.

It all hurts!! Just getting off the sofa is a mission. And I've still got 12 weeks to go! I'm only going to get bigger and more tired

How anyone does it with a toddler as well????

I had terrible spd from 16 weeks. Crutches from 20 weeks. I gave birth on 1st July and I'm still not back to normal completely. I still have pain at night and am stiff during the day. I am breastfeeding though so the hormones are not helping.

19 weeks with number 2... But I've had three years of normal in between. Including non leaking coughs, ability to do stuff, etc. For me, I moved easier from the bed I delivered on to the bath than I had in the previous 12 weeks. I have to say I didn't feel like 'me' again until I went back to work when he was six months (and he didn't sleep well for much longer after that) but I felt better - despite bfing nightmares and no sleep - almost immediately.

Some people just aren't cut out to bloom during pregnancy!

Been wondering how you were doing, Focus, having seen a lot of your posts here over the months and then saw your childbirth thread (not stalking you, honest!). I like your thoughtful, honest and insightful style.

I suppose in a way I am not really wanting to entirely go back to how I was (although I would be a bit gutted if I had to get rid of all my skinny jeans that I worked so hard to be able to wear, if my hips have permanently widened). I just can't wait to be able to plonk DS in the pram or a sling and just walk!! Anywhere, everywhere. Tiredness...meh...i don't sleep properly now, have always had bouts of crushing insomnia so I know how it feels and know I can live through it. I may think differently in 6 months time.

I think for me it is the physical restrictions pregnancy has forced on me that I have found the hardest (yes Brummiegirl the grunting whilst getting off any chair, being unable to put my own shoes and socks on without extreme exertion and sometimes failing!).

Maybe one day I will be looking back at these days with wistfulness and then the whole sorry cycle will start again

I am much less achy and grumpy than when heavily pregnant but I still have an extra 2 stone and I am always exhausted because ds is a bad sleeper. He is 2.5 sorry! Hopefully you will get a good sleeper and then I'm sure it's not too bad.

My advice for getting back to normal as quickly as possible is to do nothing but sleep and look after the baby in the first month after birth. What you eat is extremely important and I have veggie soup that I make a big pot of each week and freeze down. It's just lots and lots of veg thrown in and left to simmer with some herbs and beans. Zero salt or meat is added. After my 2nd I ate one big heaping plate of leafy greens everyday for 6 weeks afterwards. It helped me a lot.

I also had terrible SPD with all pregnancies and use a roller on my lower back, thighs, sides and calves. At this stage have your BF use a rolling pin. It's the same effect without you having to get on the floor!

I had a hard first pregnancy, didn't exercise for 10 months and felt like a blob that was permanently exhausted and peed myself when I coughed too.

A year afterwards ... well I was still a bit of a blob, I breastfed for that year and felt tired and not myself.

Two years afterwards? I was pretty much back to normal, running four times a week, doing classes, back into my old clothes and feeling pretty great.

Three years later? Pregnant, blob like, bits of pee escaping when I cough or sneeze. But, it's not been as bad and I still exercise a couple of times a week doing short 3km runs. Hoping I bounce back quicker!

Oh you have my sympathy I had a similar pregnancy. About an hour after the birth I was just so elated not to be pregnant any more, I remember bending over to touch my toes and exclaiming to my husband "look at me mooove" I felt so light it was amazing. I stripped the bed in the delivery room and scrubbed the hospital bathroom down! The midwives gave me a very look and asked if I wanted to go home - and I did! I was on top of the world. The next day I felt like I'd been run over by a bus whilst running a marathon. Kind of gradually became normal after that. Hang in there!

I think pregnancy gives you a real appreciation of the ability to change (sleeping) position in bed. The excitement of being able to roll freely and breathe free. I honestly became excited about this towards the end of pregnancy (I have 2DC). You will get much more comfortable after birth most probably, I too had no pregnancy bloom. The physical relief was immediate for me. It is very difficult towards the end.

That said, I'm mid 20s, feel mid 60s. The last two years have broken my body. I was a fit, energetic, healthy person, never a single health complaint. But I have had a string of medical/joint/psychological problems since their birth. So in this respect my experience is that it may take a little longer for your new normality to resume.

I've had rough pregnancies. It took me about a year after each to feel back to proper fitness and health and wellbeing.

They're at primary school now and I am fitter, slimmer and healthier than I was pre-pregnancy, so don't lose heart .

You'll be tired but it's different. It's not the bone-deep aching tiredness of pregnancy. It's much more of a sleepy tiredness.

Though saying that, DD is 5 months and my shoulders and knees are still fucked. But that, honestly, is nowhere near the tiredness and helplessness I felt towards the end of pregnancy.

Plus - all the other stuff like heartburn, feet sticking in your ribs, needing to piss all the time - that goes too, so life gets a bit easy in that respect!

You'll be just as tired but not bogged down with the hormones that make you feel 100% worse.

You might find the first 3ish months are quite tiring and things will begin to even out after that. It's the short gaps between feeding and establishing a sleep pattern that is the tiring thing. Once that's evened out a bit then you should be relatively 'normal' albeit with a little noisy one in the house.