There are so many individual people I need to thank here and when things settle down I will but wanted to post heartfelt gratitude to all who helped me get to be sitting here tonight holding my beautiful son, who is a healthy weight, passed all his paed checks and has the world's most beautiful face. I feel myself since giving birth for first time in months: am sti scared and not slept in a fair while now but I know I am me again and so very very lucky to have this boy and to have had all your support to get us here. I won't come on site for a whole I think as seem to misuse it and can see self searching and posting crazy non issues in these early weeks but when things settle down I will if only to repay huge huge debt of gratitude to all the women who helped me. One message to anyone who felt the way I did; you're not alone, it gets better and it's worth it xxxxxxxxc