Worried about having 2nd baby

[milkyman]

Life was goid with my 3yr old son. Now 15 weeks pg and age 40. Not planned - we couldnt decide but was coming round to the idea of just one. The freedom and plans we could make. Suprised it happened as fertility issues with first and a tough time at birth and 1st year. Can't imagine life with a toddler and baby - fear it will break us. Love our peaceful evenings. I loathe being pregnant but feel guilty saying this. Will it be ok?

It's ok not to enjoy pregnancy, and don't feel guilty for admitting it - it is how you feel... can you do some things that might help you feel more positive about it eg pregnancy class of some sort?

I was same as you, ambiguous, but then lost a pregnancy, now pg again and v happy about it although still scared for same reasons as you. Life is straightforward now and we are in a rhythm. But we are still tired and a bit stressed day to day.

I just want you to know you're not alone in feeling scared, and I'm sure if you can get through the next year or two things will settle and you'll have two wonderful children you can enjoy and will have found a new rhythm. How lovely it will be getting to know your new baby and learning about who they are.

Remember you've done it once before and you have more experience this time around too - you/ we can do it!

I feel the same way, me and dp weren't planning on having any either! I have one dc already from previous relationship and we were quite comfortable in our lives but now we find ourselves making totally unexpected plans. It's taking along time to get my head round everything but I'm getting there :) dp on the other hand seems really relaxed about the whole thing!

We have a fairly big gap between our two partly because I worried about how I would manage with two children. I am so, so glad that we had DS2. He is completely different to his brother, and his babyhood was so much easier. I am glad we have DS1 as well of course!

It will definitely be OK. It will just be different.

I am nearly 40 and on my baby is coming next week (being induced) I have had a horrid time and not enjoyed pregnancy, I hsd 3 misscarriages previously and I have worried so much this time as well as have atleast 4 water infections, 2 long viral infections, gestestatinal diabeties and this child is back to back so I am so uncomfortable it's unbelievable. I am dreading being induced and dreading the day of pain. I am also worried how I will cope will I bond with the baby, how will I love it, how am I going to manage when I have to go back to work, it's scary.

But it will be ok for you and me, I think a lot of people have fears they don't say out loud, sometimes just knowing people feel the same as you makes you feel a little better that's why I thought I would post xx