Bump development?

[Allhallowseve2015]

Hey all,

Just wondering how your bumps are getting along? Mine seems to be developing quite high up (9weeks) and just basically looks like I am getting really fat.

Is this normal???? (Sorry dc1)

It's normal! It's probably not twins! (We're in the same boat, I'm the main breadwinner, twins would have crippled us!)

You're allowed to be wimpy! The first trimester is worse than labour, in my book.

Thanks indomitable, that's reassuring. I think to be honest that this child (much as we will love it to bits) is going to push our finances. It's very difficult being the one responsible for the financial side of things when essentially we are the ones who are going to have to take maternity leave... I have savings for this but the reality of actually having a baby has just struck me that they may not be enough? If you see what I mean... And I feel silly for getting so worked up about the physical symptoms when I know this is what we have wanted for the last year... And don't even go there with the labour stuff, I will be demanding drugs right left and centre! I once had gas and air for a punctured lung, that stuff is bloody fantastic!! Is this your first? (Sorry phone won't let me scroll up for some reason)

This is my second. DS will be 5 - we had to wait for him to be in school to be able to afford a second (and I needed 5 years to get over the first pregnancy!).

I'll be taking a short maternity leave again this time (4.5 months last time, about 3.5 months this time) and returning to work full time again. It's not the norm, and I'm sure people think I'm a terrible mother (I feel it sometimes) but it works for us. I'm better at work than home with a small child anyway! We had no savings. still don't

Our financial situation improved significantly between pregnancy 1 and 2 though so has our spending despite paying for childcare.

There's rarely a "good" time anyway. And although it looks like other people are 'proper grown ups' and know what they're doing, we're all just muddling through. You'll be fine, I guarantee it. It is hard when you're going into the unknown, though. I'm much happier this time than I was last time!

And, I know everyone says it, but they don't really need a lot. Childcare is by far the biggest issue, but that can be budgeted for.

We had second hand pram, cot, etc. And DS has been happily clothes in supermarket basics for most of his life! It's doable.

Thank you. Feeling slightly better (is it possible to get high on gaviscon?!) just having a lie down. It's weird that we have been planning this for a year, and now that it's actually happened it is freaking me the hell out... I am totally going to dressing my baby in super market clothes, as all we have is my savings, and my mum and his mum (although she lives abroad and we don't speak the same language) I know that sounds bad, but it's the best that can be done until DP gets his business up and running. Wow! I know it's only 9 weeks and so I should probably be more hesitant about things... Not told anyone in RL... I just feel really scared now, and the physical side of things is not helping!

Our family are all 'up country', so we've done everything ourselves. It's frustrating seeing better-off friends with free family childcare, but that's life and we're happy with how things are.

It'll all come together. I know the first thing I did in the post-BFP panic was knock up a spreadsheet to work out how we would cope, but really you've got several months to work out what you need to accumulate and how you want to spend the few months after that.

Try to take it easy and find something to enjoy about this early part. I loved reading about all the very early development. And you'll have the first scan soon which is just incredible!

And although it's usually not the done thing to tell before 12 weeks, I told the people closest to me almost as soon as I found out this time! And anyone else as and when it came up. (Though I kept it from work as long as possible).

It meant I didn't have to pretend to feel fine. People were much more understanding. And if it had all gone wrong, they'd have been able to support.

Can't wait for the first scan!!!! So excited! But obviously aware of what can go wrong so trying to contain my excitement... DP os over the moon as well, so fingers crossed. I am feeling much happier after my gaviscon, no longer feel like my throat is going to fall out. But still worried about how bloated I am.... Obviously having never had a (fingers crossed) successful pregnancy before, it makes me question whether I am further on than I thought? Had a very light period at the beginning of October, as in two days of light bleeding... And obviously have only got hpt to go off at the moment so assuming it is from when I first tested properly... If you see what I mean?

Sorry I meant september... Gah. Steak has addled my brain!

Ooh, a very light & short period at the beginning of September, and heartburn already. You could be further on than you think. Did you mention it at booking in? Did you test before the odd period?

The only way to find out is with a scan, though, so presumably yours is soon, and you'll find out then. You might miss the NT measurement window, but there are other tests you could have, so don't panic there.

Might make the whole uncomfortable experience a bit shorter!

No I didn't test before, busy with life and all that jazz (as if that could be less important?!) but seriously my mind feels so addled at the mo, it could well be that perhaps I am further along... Would explain the massive bloating etc. Scan is in three weeks, so guess we will find out then...booking in, just went on what I had calculated and did mention the short periods but they were quite dismissive of it. Although if it makes this process any shorter then I will be happy! Sorry I know that sounds awful.

Maybe worth seeing if I can get an earlier scan???

It certainly might be worth asking if the midwife will refer you. Ring on Monday and explain the whole thing. She might get you in to feel your belly. Presumably she wouldn't have at booking in as she's expect not to feel anything.

How many short/light periods were there?

Last proper period was August, as I said, last really light period was September. Will ring on mon and ask as I am feeling far too heavy (in boobs and belly) for what we thought and what midwife went on... Heartburn has returned with a vengeance, and I swear my boobs have never ever been so sore... DP has to go away tomorrow so I am feeling ultra emotional. Sorry, I know I sound like a right paranoid weirdo, but this is the first proper time...

No, don't worry about how you sound! It could be all entirely normal for you (bloated & booby fits for 9 or 12 weeks!), or you could be further on (which the heartburn does suggest, but that could be normal for you too).

Ring mw and ask on mon, and about getting some double-hard antacid stuff too. Hopefully you'll feel physically better, at least.

How long's your DH away for? Pregnancy makes you feel so vulnerable, it's weird isn't it.

Just re heartburn - I have found the dual action tablets useful for out & about (a bit more discreet than glugging at a huge bottle of Gaviscon), and they work really well. I was lucky to get a bottle of Gaviscon advance on prescription (7 quid in the shops!!), but the following times they have given me a cheap generic version called peptac - this stuff is nowhere near as good!

Never thought I'd be so knowledgeable about antacids.

Hope your bloat eases off soon. I'm 37 weeks now and every part of me is bloated, but there is a point in between the start and now that it does feel ok..

Thanks you guys. He's off in the morning for a week, and the very thought has made me cry at least four times this evening....! I am back to work on Monday after half term so it's difficult to get a time to call or to make an appointment. That makes me want to cry even more as I feel so shit. I can't even imagine being 37 weeks oranges! Just hoping I feel better. I have been pregnant before but not this far along, so I guess I haven't had the chance to feel this shit... But also very lucky to have got this far. I will call the mw mon and see what she has to say. It's all a bit impersonal these parts though, and I doubt they would have much sympathy, apart from asking for an early scan... Really don't want DP to go away tomorrow

Ah, a fellow teacher!

If you feel awful, take a couple of days to get the heartburn under control. Pregnancy isn't illness, but it can make you ill. Teachers are the worst for prioritising themselves. But this is your family; if you're going to power on through taking a couple of days now is better than burning out in a few weeks. (I should take my own advice sometimes).

and now I can't even drink wine!!!! I had a day off the week before half term as I honestly felt so rough it would have been better for the kids if I hadn't been there. Then spent the day sleeping and feeeling guilty about my exam classes... Standard. But I think I am feeling worse, had a lovely five days away, but just felt constantly like I had motion sickness and everything I ate made me feel sick... (Had one sneaky small glass of red wine, had one sip and had to make a run for the toilets, not easy when you don't speak the lingo). Generously donated the rest of the glass to dp And have graciously accepted that alcohol no longer agrees with me. So how the hell do you cope teaching whilst pregnant????

I realise that last post made me sound like I was condoning drinking in pregnancy, but I was in Italy, I had to try one glass of wine... And then the imminent run to the loo 'scuzi' and all that, trying to hold one sip of red wine in my cheeks hamster style so I could spit it out...

This time it's very much business as usual. Last time I was asleep most of the time.

I think I basically stopped doing anything fancy. Projected text book pages, used text book questions. Raided TES & boardworks & colleagues resources. And that was in the days before the current ridiculous marking requirement. (I've ignored the books I brought home with me this week, all of a sudden it's Sunday again).

I survived an OFSTED then (my first), and we're expecting them again any time soon too.

I think I got home and slept for about an hour. DH is the cook here so he'd wake me up and feed me. I'd plan the next day's lessons (I've never been particularly organised!) and go to bed.

Seriously do the absolute bare minimum and sleep as much as possible.

It'll be Xmas before we know it. Hopefully OFSTED will be over (no individual teacher grading this time) and not long after that it'll be leave time.

Awww, thanks for the advice! I've had two ofsteds in three years (diff schools) had them within three months of each other (on in the last week of term at my last school, second in the second month of my new school!!!), but we are due a visit, and I've just been given the great job of setting up a whole new subject (all by myself with no extra pay or ppa I might add), so with this on top of everything it might be too much. I already feel absolutely exhausted. Again, I feel I am jumping the gun here again, as it is early days, but when did you tell them you were going on maternity leave? Lucky you with having a chef on hand! DP is a very good cook, but not english, and from a certain culture where he means well but leaves me to clean up the mess. This has changed, I have to say, long may IT continue! We are trying to find a new flat at the moment, landlord decided to sell our old one, so that's just even better!!!! Stress stress stress!

And yes, it's way past our bedtime with school tomorrow

Oh, DH doesn't clean. He actively uses everything he can and turns the kitchen into a bombsite. Which is weird because when I cook the kitchen ends up cleaner.

Setting up a whole new subject? That's tough. I've had the 'opportunity' to be involved with a lot of staff development this year - all in my PPAs, of course. No extra pay either.

I told HT at 10 or 11 weeks, I think (first day back in September). And then told other relevant people a week or so after that. (Then showed colleagues the scan pics). First time they apparently had already worked it out. This time (new team) apparently not (higher workload, less time with team?). You'll probably find they've already guessed!

A lot depends on the experiences the HODs and SLT have had. Last time there was very little sympathy/understanding from SLT but HOD's wife had had difficult pregnancies so he was very supportive. This time the AsstHT had HG and so is really supportive. It's luck of the draw, unfortunately. I think you have to be quite insistent on what you need, though. They have a duty to look after you and the baby, which might mean reducing workload while you're feeling ill to allow you to rest (drop any break duties ASAP, etc).

That's no fun re house move. We moved when I was ~16 weeks with DS1. It was stressful, but we paid for the moving company to pack - best ridiculous-amount-of-money I've ever spent!

Enjoy your Sunday!