Am I being unreasonable?

[Heavenscent86]

Since telling my friend I was pregnant about 8 weeks ago she has seemed quite off with me. I've tried to make allowances for it thinking there may be things going on in her life that she hasn't alerted me to. I told her about my 12 week scan going well and sent her a copy of the photo. She ignored the photo and told me I shouldn't be excited because I could still lose my baby at any time. I was very upset over this. It feel highly insensitive as I have had 2 miscarriages that she is aware of and have been worried this pregnancy due to bleeding which again she is aware of.

Anyway we have had a longstanding arrangement to go to a concert tomorrow night (booked before Christmas last year). My partner was to drive me down to London, we were all to stay at a hotel near the venue and make a day of it. When booking the hotel she told me she couldn't commit to anything and not to book anything for her but promptly went ahead two days later to make arrangements to spend the day with another friend. My partner is now ill and I am not sure he will be able to take me now and I am unable to drive. Told my friend of this. She said I can go down with her but she is leaving at 8 in the morning and won't wait an extra hour for me to get to school. I also can't afford to pay for extra tickets when I already have some as I have been off work due to hyperemesis and got no sick pay. I suggested using my tickets and meeting her friend in London but she said no I'm going from his sisters with him and said she would pick up the tickets from me tonight and go with him. I refused but feel incredibly hurt. We have had a longstanding arrangement to go and see a singer I have wanted to see for many many years and she has prioritised a man she has known for two years over this. I didn't even suggest she cancel on him. Am I wrong to Feel so upset and hurt over this?

There is something going in with her that you don't know about. She obviously doesn't want to tell you.
It must be really hard because from your side she is being rather harsh but if she is a good friend of longstanding, when it does all come out I'm sure it will make perfect sense.

Hope you get to the concert, or have a nice night in with your partner.

I'd find this hurtful. She's not behaving in a friendly way at all.

Is it possible that she's having fertility problems and that's making it harder for her to cope with a friend being pregnant?

You're definitely not being unreasonable.

She definitely isn't having fertility problems at the moment as she isn't in a relationship but I did wonder if she is starting to feel an urge for children and worried she won't have them. Unfortunately I still feel that she is treating me in a way you really shouldn't treat your friends.

The problem isn't you, it sounds like she has an issue or some sort of problem and is taking part of it out on you, could be jealousy?
Maybe it's worth sending her a text how you feel and leave the ball in her court. Sounds like you haven't done anything so you shouldn't be the one bending backwards for her.

She's clearly got something going on which she hasn't disclosed to you. When I got pregnant a friend was also trying, 6 months later and she still isn't pregnant. We exchange texts and I've seen her in the supermarket and we've had a brief chat but have kept it at that. She's obviously hurting, and is keeping her distance. As her friend I'm respecting her feelings and allowing her space, I'm not pushing to meet up though do suggest it sometimes, so she knows we are still friends.

I can understand that you are upset, and with your feelings you are not being unreasonable. However neither is she. You just need to give her some space and time. It sounds as though you may have pushed a bit hard and she's struggling to say no in a polite but firm way. If she's really a friend you'll be able to work through this, it'll just take some time.

I can see your point about allowing her space and time but the thing is I haven't been pushy. I soon realised she might be upset over the baby and started to keep quiet over it to the extent that I haven't mentioned it to her since the 12 week scan and I have suggested meeting just a couple of times and not pushed when she has made an excuse. Unfortunately if we are still going to this concert that wasn't booked recently arrangements have to be made and I can't make them alone when I'm supposed to be going with her. I'm not sure how to allow her extra space and time on top of that other than just never talk to her so it's a bit difficult. Also I'm trying to allow her this and allow for the fact that she does seem to be struggling but she is still saying and doing very hurtful things to me and I'm not sure they are good things to say and do to a close friend.
I'd like to send her a text to explain how I feel but i don't want to hurt her more so I may have to think on that one.

I'm definitely not saying I've done nothing wrong as maybe I talked too much about the baby before I realised it was an issue for her and maybe I have handled it wrong or something but I still don't think I deserve the current treatment.

A friend of mine got pregnant a few years back, one of our mutual friends had just had a miscarriage, we knew it would be hard for her but she was a spiteful and horrible person - told my friend she didn't deserve it and she hoped she'd lose it.

Some people take this stuff really hard, but that's hardly an excuse. I hope you get it worked out.

I hope we do too. Having had miscarriages myself around the time friends and family were having babies I know how difficult it can be. If she has had that happen in the past and not confided in me or feeling jealous perhaps because she wants babies I'd love to try and help. She's never indicated to me that she's ready for that so I didn't think twice about telling her but I wish I had now as I would have approached it differently.