My partner isn't interested in our pregnancy

[Cmo23]

I have been with my partner for 2 years, he has a 4 year old son from a previous relationship, this is my first baby. I am only 3 months pregnant and at about 6 weeks I had some heavy bleeding I was terrified but my partner wasn't even bothered and told me his ex bled too and it's nothing to worry about. I was monitored every 2 weeks from this point by the early pregnancy unit at our local hospital due to being high risk, he came to some apts most he missed.

He used to tell me how he'd rub cream on his exs stomach when she was pregnant and has never even touched mine since we found out, he shows no emotion he hasn't even told any of his friends or family we are expecting.

He even told me his son needs a lot of attention and that when our baby comes he may need to ignore us of a weekend when he has his son and he will see us threw the week despite working from 2-10 every night!

It is making me so miserable I don't know what to do has anyone else experiences this?

Sorry you are not feeling supported, it must feel rubbish. Hopefully he will take more interest once the pregnancy becomes more real for him when the baby is actually arrives. Will he be taking paternity leave?

Thanks for your quick reply, yes he will be taking two weeks, I hope so, I did ask if this is what he wanted early on and he said yes, we did plan this baby but I wasn't sure if he had changed his mind. He isn't a kid we are 30 and 32

Do you live together?

No I have my own home and he has his we are in the process of looking for a home together but don't seem to be getting very far with it, we need a 3 bedroom house and both have 2 bedroom properties

I would suggest putting the moving in together on hold for now, because he does not sound committed to you at all. Certainly don't give up your home and become dependant on him for the roof over your head.

Was the baby planned?

Make sure he comes with you to the scan. I don't think my (now) ex really appreciated that the baby was real until he saw it on the scan. I mean he obviously knew on one level that I was pregnant, but it certainly seemed much more real to him.

He does sound like he's being a bit crap though. you are the one who will need him most when you have a new baby. Yes his DS will need attention and to feel involved, but that shouldn't come at the expense of him being with you and the baby.

Could you move into one of your two bedroom homes for now? You can give his DS a bedroom and have the baby in with you for the first year or so, then if/when the relationship is more settled, can look to buy together then. If it doesn't work out, you'd still have a home each, which you'd both need.

Honestly you are going to need a lot of support throughout your pregnancy and when the baby arrives. Do you think he will be able to step up and provide that support? Because you deserve someone who can. Sorry you are feeling miserable

He might get better once the pregnancy progresses a bit. At this stage it feels very real for you, but isn't that obvious to the outside world, which can include him. His comment about rubbing his ex's tummy, I imagine that would have been when it was a big baby tummy and maybe when he could feel movement etc?

He sounds an insensitive arsehole tbh. He's already told you to expect you to put up with him ignoring you all weekend. I really wouldn't get a property with him yet. If you really want to live together you could live in one of your properties and see how you get on, can't see why you'd need a 3 bed fir a few years.