starting to feel scared now...

[Ladypug]

Birth is around the corner (which corner I don't know - the not knowing makes it so much worse!) and I'm starting to feel a bit afraid. I'm very squeamish and hate the unknown and I'm thinking what if I can handle it? What if I faint at the needles or the blood? What if I lose control like a mad woman? What if stuff goes wrong? What if I simply can't do it? I'm really getting scared - did anyone else feel this way and how did you get past it?

One way if coping is knowing there isn't much else you can do about it. You are going to have to give birth. Sorry.
Hiwever, women do it all day everyday. They survive.. And they choose to do it again. You will be looked after by a team if professionals whose job it is to do it every single day.

I am a massive worrier so feel you pain, but you will get through-it's only one day- and at the end you'll have an amazing baby.

It's worth it.. I am choosing to do it for a second time kxx

Feeling the same way...i think its natural to have that feeling of being scared of the birth...but I'm sure when the time comes we shall be ok. P.s. Everyone birthing experience is different...if the pain gets too bad u can always opt for pain relief...eg. Epidural and it goes so quickly you wont remember half the pain when u r looking at ur beautiful babg

Thanks guys and I know it sounds silly, I'm just worried I won't handle it

Hypnobirthing downloads are excellent, I was terrified about the birth but I used these downloads in the weeks beforehand and it really helped calm me, and gave me good techniques for pain management and remaining calm in labour.

I was nervous too. To be honest, this waiting bit is the worst because you imagine all sorts of horrors and what-ifs. When the time comes, you will just get on with it. Trust that your body will do the hard work for you, you just have to try to switch off and get through it. Your baby will be arriving one way or another, and it may be sore and unpleasant, but it won't last forever. If you need interventions, that's okay too. As long as your baby arrives healthily, that's all that matters. Please try to relax and do some enjoyable things for yourself!

You will be ok. Give yourself permission to worry a little though - (not too much, but you don't need to be denying it!)

The odds are things will be fine. You may have a few things not go to plan but that's what medics are for! My birth just now hit a few obstacles - the team just dealt with it and we are both through it ok.

It's ok to be apprehensive - birth is a big deal! Good luck (I type this with my little bundle in my arms, a bit sore and bashed around but perfectly OK and happy.)

It helped me to not think about the labour really until it was happening and once it started happening I just went with it. I did read up so I knew all the signs it was happening, but I tried not to think of what would actually happen if that makes sense.

When I did worry about it I thought to myself how lucky I am to live in the developed world and at this time where we have the right medical treatment. Poor women and girls in some parts of the world are left to do it alone. It really helped me put things into perspective.

Sorry my last paragraph isnt meant to sound preachy or anything, I'm worried it does now!

I was terrified. My mum and aunt had very long and difficult labours and rare complications so I was very scared as I thought it ran in the family.

Hypnobirthing was an absolute god send. It really calmed me down and helped me feel more positive about labour. I got to the point where I realised I couldn't control what happened but I could control how I coped with it and hypnobirthing helped me stay calm before and during both my labours.

I found it really helpful in containing some of my panic for the last ten weeks of pregnancy and listened to the cd every night.

I'm not going to lie, labour is painful and it's ubpleasabt at times. However it's not like breaking your leg where it's unbearable pain straight away. It starts slowly and builds up and gives your body time to 'get used' to the pain so it sends out pain killing hormones etc.
My first labour was back to back and it was very painful but I coped and managed on gas and air and had a natural birth with no intervention. My second was much faster and less painful.
On the whole, although it was painful, I found the whole experience both times very empowering and I'm sad I'll never get to do it again.

Good luck x

And there's unlikely to be needles and blood!

Actually ispy, my labour was chock full of needles and blood. All labours are different and it's unfair to tell the OP what is and isn't "likely."

Thing is, OP, birth is what it is. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes preparation is helpful, sometimes it's not.

But in the grand scheme of things, it's over with relatively quickly, lots of options for pain relief are available, and you WILL be able to do it - that baby has to come out!

If you faint, so be it. Ditto for if you lose control. If something goes wrong, you'll deal with it with the best help you can get. Just keep telling yourself that your baby will be here soon and, whatever happens, the medics will have seen it all before.

Very best of luck!

I'm sorry you had a bad experience Running but I just said it was unlikely not impossible. I was trying to reassure the OP that it wasn't an inevitability. Most labours are uncomplicated, you just wouldn't believe it from what you read on here. Being well informed is important but I think empowering women is more productive than scaremongering.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience Running but I just said it was unlikely not impossible. I was trying to reassure the OP that it wasn't an inevitability. Most labours are uncomplicated, you just wouldn't believe it from what you read on here. Being well informed is important but I think empowering women is more productive than scaremongering.

Of course empowering women is more productive than scaremongering. Nobody said it wasn't. And I didn't say I had a bad experience, just that there were needles and blood. Which is normal!

Lots of births involve needles. In my case, because I needed antibiotics for GBS and, later, for an epidural. This is not uncommon, and pointing this out is not scaremongering.

Also, most births involve losing blood. There may be a lot of blood afterwards. In my case, there was. This is not uncommon, and again, it's not "scaremongering" to point this out.

Sorry to derail the thread, but I think honesty about everything childbirth may and could involve is important. It's a lot more empowering - to use your phrase - to know that these things are normal and routine, than to think something's gone wrong if they then happen to you.

Thanks so much everyone for your replies. I should have mentioned that I have GBS and will be on an antibiotic drip which is why I'm nervous about needles etc as I've already been warned about the IV drip! Just feeling very scared of not knowing when birth will happen, how it will feel, how to get through it etc. I'm starting to realise freak outs like this are common but I've managed to avoid it for 38 weeks! I know I just have to get through it and hope I can do it, lots of women have done it before me, I must be able to do this (she says in hope!)

PS congrats Skipton! Yay :-)

Pps not taken as preachy Halo and you're very right, it does put it in perspective, thank you!

What really helped me was thinking of the pain as the kind of pain you'd get if you were running a marathon or climbing a mountain or exercising really hard. Muscular pain from the exertion and working so damn hard! Your body is working so hard to get the baby out. Rather than 'something is wrong, I'm injured or ill' pain. This really helped me mentally, each pain felt more like an achievement. And also the fact it wasn't constant agony, the pain builds and then falls away, like very very intense period pain in waves. So even a minute in between is a rest. Also Hypnobirthing did nothing for me as I just can't switch off like that, I read 'Birth Skills' by JuJu Sundin and that is more about tackling the pain and doing things like stamping, groaning in a controlled way and banging the wall :) as distraction techniques and ways of staying physical. It helped me a bit. It still hurt of course! Also at the end we had to be rushed to theatre for a ventouse birth, but it was still a great experience, the end result is what you want :)

Congratulations Skipton!

ladypug I had written a long reply to you but have deleted it. I am only a week behind you! So just to say here's some electronic good wishes coming your way and if you wish to pm someone at the same stage of pregnancy, I'm there!

Ladypug - don't worry about the IV drip, honestly. I had a v long labour - so long I think there were four lots of the GBS antibiotics! - but once the cannula was in my hand it wasn't an issue.

I used the pool, bounced on balls, swayed on a hammock thing, mooed on all fours - the IV drip doesn't get in the way (in my experience) and wasn't a problem at all.

Also, tbh, the contractions meant I didn't even particularly notice or care about the canula being put in!

GBS and PPH are not normal Running but I'm glad to hear it wasn't a bad experience for you Good Luck OP.

Ispy, that doesn't help. And nor does the silly face. Please stop it now, I for one am finding your assertion that GBS isn't "normal" both offensive and upsetting.

It's like bleeding in pregnancy, just because it happens to lots of women doesn't make it normal. The majority of women will not have GBS or require a cannula to be sited during labour. That's all I'm saying, I didn't mean to offend. It's just if you look at the beginning of your first post, it certainly sounds scary for a first timer who is already anxious. Unfortunately it does sound like OP will require a cannula. I hope you have an easy time of it OP.

OP, I've sent you a PM :-)