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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Announcing a pregnancy to DC's - experiences?

21 replies

Sighing · 07/10/2015 20:29

My DC's are 7 & 9. I am due my 20 week scan in a week (left it so long due to previous losses and waiting until that last 1/2 in the hope all will be well). I am still unsure how to handle telling them.
We have ordered t-shirts. I thought maybe wrap them up. Get them quite excited. I also thought of a more low key, tell them over dinner (all of us there on a non club or school evening).
I've got books for children about pregnancy I bought a while ago. But i just want to ease them into it. Has anyone any tips / experiences of this?

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Original poster

Sighing · 07/10/2015 20:33

Also ... IF we find out if it's a boy or a girl is it better to tell them or not? I obviously want them to start to feel a connection, but I am loathe for them to get hurt if there is a later loss.

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royaldub · 07/10/2015 20:38

Watching this with interest Sighing, I am planning on telling our one and only DS(6) at 12 week scan by giving him a tshirt aswell, he is dying for a sibling so I am expecting he will take the news well.

If you dont mind me asking what book did you buy your children? I hadnt thought of getting a book and this might be handy for all the questions I will no doubt be asked! Exciting times :)

royaldub · 07/10/2015 20:39

That should be after 12 week scan not at!

kktpj · 07/10/2015 20:43

Ours were 14 and 12. Told them at 16 weeks. Asked the 14 year-old had she not guessed. Apparently she thought I was getting old and fat.

MisForMumNotMaid · 07/10/2015 20:51

My elder two were 7 and almost 5 when youngest was born.

We told them just after 12 weeks, i'd had previous early losses they didn't know about but felt the need to tell them because i was seriously bloating and a few other mums in our small community had already guessed.

They ordered a boy. DS2 wanted one who would play goaly, DS1 said he could share his bed. They started to choose names and work out new house rules, mainly hierarchy stuff like who would have the middle seat in the car. They were excited but its a long time to wait when you're young. Once they knew it was very public information.

Needless to say I had a girl, they both love her. She, at four, makes quite a good goaly.

Original poster

Sighing · 07/10/2015 20:52

I have 2 books 1 is definitely too young for them but it's quite sweet (there's a house in my mummy). The other will be a breeze to read but it has simple facts about each stage and you can hold the book up to you for 'actual size' view (monthly) it's called 'what's in your tummy mummy'. Other than that I've got my pregnancy book (lots of images and facts if their questions get very technical).

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Original poster

Sighing · 07/10/2015 20:57

Oh bless. I can well imagine them demanding a boy (their friends have brothers) or a girl (probably want different). It has to be said they're not winning observational prizes so far. We went swimming this afternoon (i am now in a maternity swimsuit) and a woman did the 'I bet they're excited' thing. They wanted to know what they were excited about!
Re. The public. I anticipated that. They'll pretty much be left in charge of letting my family know.

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royaldub · 07/10/2015 21:10

Sorry kktpj but that made me I have been asked why was I getting so fat (Im only 8+4 fgs) I just said I am been very greedy eaing crisps all the time!9anything to ease nausea)

Thanks Sighing will start looking up books!

We have had discussions about siblings as ds the only one on both sides of family so of course 6 years of been an only and then suddenly sharing could be daunting so we broached the subject subtlety before we got pregnant. Surprisingly DS wants a sister first and then a brother and they are all to get bunk beds and share his room

Original poster

Sighing · 07/10/2015 21:19

I get the impression from your experiences I'm going to get a lot of expectations coming at me about this baby suddenly!

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5madthings · 07/10/2015 21:31

I am 14 wks with madthing6!and we just told the other madthings last week.

They are 16, 13, 10, 7 and 4. My 16 yr old had guessed, that would be my constant nausea and vommitted, he has seen it before! He was fine but jokingly said couldn't we have waited til he had left home.

The others are all very excited, much discussion about if it's a boy or a girl, we are not going to find out. Currently we have four boys and one girl. I told them individually at their bedtime as part of tucking them in and saying goodnight, showed them scan pic. I wish I had filmed ds4's reaction as his face was priceless.

Ds3 went to school the next day and announced it to the entire playground.... And dd (4) told it to her teacher etc. So I had lots of congratulations etc that day.

I did this announcement on fb

Announcing a pregnancy to DC's - experiences?

Original poster

Sighing · 07/10/2015 21:37

The facebook pic is adorable. That's a whole discussion for another day (and after parents know as well).
I don't linger much in the playground, but I've certainly had that moment before of DC's friends telling me THEY are going to have a baby. Last year I worked at the school. I imagine a lot of children will know very quickly (gulp) being a focus of attention mskes me nervous.

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5madthings · 07/10/2015 21:50

I have never done the fb thing with the others, we told our parents and sisters first and once the kids knew etc I figured it would be fun to do a fb pic. If you want ideas on telling the kids there is loads of stuff on pinterest.

This baby was a bit of a surprise so figured we may as well have fun with it.

Good luck telling everyone and the being in the spotlight won't last long, someone else will have some news in a few days.

Cockbollocks · 07/10/2015 22:02

We, slightly unintentionally, ended up with my 2 DC at my 12 week scan.

I had already had a scan the week before, then the kids (8 & 5) had to come with us to this scan at the last minute. We agreed in the car to just tell them Mummy needed a quick examination for a little bit of tummy ache and obviously if a problem occurred DP would shuffle them out to get a drink/sweets or something.

Not something I would necessarily recommend but I have a lovely memory now of DS squealing as he immediately spotted DC3 on the screen and excitedly shouted 'mummy its a baby' it was lovely!

PacificDogwod · 07/10/2015 22:06

I ended up telling DS1 and DS2 about DS3 when I was well over 7 months pregnant and as large as a house and they had still not asked any questions!
They were utterly underwhelmed and disinterested - I suppose, at 4 and 5 it maybe seemed like quite a theoretical concept, another baby??
Dunno.

Congratulations to you, Sighing, and 5madthings

Workingmum473 · 08/10/2015 09:20

I have a book I read to my 5year old called 'waiiting for baby'. It seemed to do the trick. I also bought her a small calender so she can count the months until baby comes because it got to a point where she was asking everyday...is baby coming out today...almost everyday...however now she seems content knowing baby will come around the due date or when its ready to come out

notfromstepford · 08/10/2015 11:43

We told DS (3.5) when I was 14 weeks, before someone else did.
We were originally going to leave it as long as possible, but as more people noticed, I didn't want them to tell him before we did. He's been saying he wants a brother or sister for a while, so we knew it would go down OK.

He is so excited and making so many plans about what they can do together it's really very sweet, especially when he talks and sings to the baby and says "Love you baby". It's just a very long time for him to wait.

ServingSuggestion · 08/10/2015 12:10

We told 4yo DS at 13 weeks. I didn't want him finding out from anyone else. We told him there was a surprise in mummy's tummy - he was gutted when it turned out to be a brother or sister for him and not Lego or a dinosaur.

notfromstepford · 08/10/2015 12:45

Serving that's hilarious - I just spat a bit of lunch out when I read that!

Jenijena · 08/10/2015 12:55

Recently told DS (3) that I'm pregnant as I didn't want him to pick it up through overhearing. I'm 15weeks.

Not one to be outdone, apparently he has a baby (boy) in his tummy too, and his tummy is going to grow really big 'but that's ok because daddy will go to the loft and get me some new clothes to wear' (having recently seen DH searching for my maternity stuff in the loft).

He also knows where he came out. He keeps trying to pull my knickers down in public if I'm really unlucky to see if the baby is ready to come out.

Original poster

Sighing · 08/10/2015 17:37

Jenijena: aw brilliant.
Servingsuggestion: there's a story for should he go on to have children

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jamtartandcustard · 08/10/2015 22:50

i told my dc's at 14 weeks as we were late registering for the midwife so she wanted to come and do a home visit after school as she couldn't fit us in to the surgery. ds's are over the moon. ds1(6) had actually asked for another sibling when it was his birthday earlier in the year, ds2(3) is absolutely fascinated by the fact there is a baby in mummies tummy.
dd(11), however, did not take it well. think screaming, shouting, tears, threats to move out and telling us she hates us, begging us to give it up for adoption etc. it was very tough.
she's still not happy about it now but accepts its happening and there is nothing she can do. we respect that she wants nothing to do with the baby and wont force it upon her. she adores her younger brothers so i am sure, in time, she will come round.

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