So angry!

[Bambi1981]

Is it normal to feel really angry after a miscarriage, but not know what you are angry at?

I had medical management about 3.5 weeks ago and know my hormones are still all over the place, but I feel so lost and confused. One minute I'm fine, and feeling guilty for feeling upbeat, the next I'm gulping down tears hoping that nobody notices.

I think I ovulated last week so AF is probably on the way which doesn't help the mood much, but for the last week or so I have been silently bubbling over with anger inside. I was a moody biatch this weekend which is so unfair on my DH, he's hurting too.

I'm trying to be brave, laughing and joking with colleagues and trying not to think about what happened but there are little triggers everywhere.

I went to Tesco yesterday and at the front of the shop is the clothing section, with little baby grows all hung out. Just a few weeks ago I was browsing, looking at the type of things we would buy when I got past the first trimester, and now I'm here waiting for AF again.

It's nobody's fault but I'm just so angry, it's so unfair....

So sorry that you are going through this Bambi .. A miscarriage sucks the joy out of life. Its absolutely normal to feel anger. With my mmc back in April, I went through quite a few days of wanting to punch walls, doors, people ...

Let yourself grieve. Letting it out and being easy on myself, allowing myself to grieve was the only thing that finally had me feeling better though I am not really over it, not even months afterward.

Hugs to you. I do hope you feel better soon. Miscarriages are rotten but I hope you have a new little bean to worry about as soon as you are ready.

Definitely totally normal to feel anger when going through a loss of any kind (miscarriage, bereavement etc). There are often too many thoughts and feelings for your brain to process (sadness, emptiness, injustice, guilt, fear and many more) so it defaults to something it 'can do' and express outwardly- which is often anger. Scream, shout, rage- externalise the anger as much as you want to (if you want to). Tell your DH what's going on in your mind- I'm sure he's going through similar thoughts and feelings and will understand.

I'm really sorry for your loss and hope you have much happier times to come

Thank you both, I really appreciate your kind words.

This is my second loss, the first being an ectopic back in 2010, and thought I might not be able to get pregnant so I've had a lot of "well at least you know now that you CAN get pregnant" or "at least you can try again" but there's no 'at least' about it, to me it wasn't just the baby itself that was torn away from me, it was the love I was already starting to feel and the future we had already started planning for...it's not like losing a tooth

I'm terrified of trying again in a way as I don't know how I'll cope if it happens again, and I know I'll be anxious throughout the entire pregnancy.

Its so unfair that some people just pop kids out like bunnies, whilst others really go through blood, sweat and tears to become parents.

Completely understand. I hated all the "at least you know you can have kids" ... In my head i was like ... Tell that to someone who has lost a toddler to a disease or an accident. Just try telling them, oh you can always pop out another one ... Because it feels like the same thing to someone who has just had a miscarriage!!

I wont lie but the second time around it is all the more worrying. I am 5+4 after my mmc in April and I jump at every little twinge and ache.

Lots of hugs.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm (hopefully) having my third child but have had 10 mc's along the way. I found the trying to conceive after a miscarriage board really supportive, it helped a lot. When you feel you might try again then they will give you amazing support through an anxious time.
Sometimes people just don't know what to say so they try and compensate by pointing out what they see as the positive. When in fact all they need to say is 'I'm sorry, that's really shit' and give you a hug.

It's ok to be angry, to grieve, to hate the world. Allow yourself that, it's healthy to feel down sometimes and to explore that, not to bottle it up.

Its tragic that any of us have to go through this, so sorry to hear of your losses too. It is a great comfort to talk to such kind ladies though, so thank you. Talked to hubby on our way home tonight and he understands how I feel, he lets out his frustration at work (he is a high school teacher), whereas I cant as I am client-facing so all of mine can only come out at home really. Its going to take time I know, I guess we just have to ride the wave x