Feeling really down and lonely

[Ladypug]

Hi all,

Is anyone else feeling really down and lonely? Baby due in a few weeks, should be on top of the world but just feel really alone and bored. Just moved house and am now in an area where I don't know anyone, at a point in the pregnancy where walking hurts and too big to drive (DH has the car for work most days too). DH works all afternoon and night and I just feel really alone. I don't have many girlfriends and don't see my mum - really yearning for female contact and just need a friend or a hug or a hobby. Is anyone else feeling low? Is it hormones? I need to sort it out before baby comes :-(

Oh luv,

that's crap :-( No wonder you feel blue if you are stuck in the house and in a new area that you can't even explore and make your own. I haven't really got any suggestions other than phone which friends you can (which you can only do so many times I know!) and hang on in there.

Maybe put into place some positive plans for afterward? Look at baby massage classes or post natal exercise classes you can bring the baby etc. Whatever rings your bell, but something where you can get out and have a bit of human contact (even if you don't meet firm friends). If you can make it out the house now can you see if there are any antenatal meets/nct coffee mornings or anything you can rock up to?

Being social when you are feeling vulnerable is really hard, but I know myself that being stuck in the house can really make you feel quite depressed.

hang on in there!

Thanks Lemon :-)

It's so horrible, Ive started to think I don't have any friends (not true) but my best friend lives hundreds of miles away and I only have a handful of friends (because all I do is work so I have the most amazing career but now I have stopped working I realise how unfulfilling that is and how I wish I had had some kind of a life for the past 10 years) :-(

I also have dogs and can't leave them for long at a time and none of my handful of friends want to visit me as I live so far away now. God I sound really sorry for myself, it must be hormones but I just feel crappy. I will look into classes and stuff, just feel really low and I think staying in the house is making things worse, thank you for replying to me :-)

Op take a look online and see if there is a local weekly nct bumps and babies coffee morning nearby, an antenatal yoga class and/or Aqua class. Take yourself along to all/any of these and at the end of the class/session, pipe up and ask if anyone wants to go for a coffee or exchange contact details to meet up in future. I have found that a huge number of new mums/mums to be feel like you do and are often very grateful for someone being brave enough to get the ball rolling.

Also, if you can arrange and afford it, sign up asap to an nct class in your new area (people do these predominantly because they are in the same situation career-wise as you in my experience, and want some local mum friends).

Good luck! It will get better I promise. Hormones are pesky things at times :)

Thank you TakesTwo :-) xx

Perhaps an odd suggestion, but if you can get a lift on a Saturday morning, find out where your nearest parkrun is and offer to volunteer, explaining that you'd bring a chair. parkruns are free, timed 5ks every Saturday at 9am in England, 9:30 in Scotland and various times throughout the world.

I started one up where I am and we always welcome volunteers and every parkrun is friendly - my best friends are people I met at a parkrun. Plus it would give you a ready-made group to go back to after the birth.

Can you find some nice pregnancy treatments ( reflexology, pregnancy aquanatal etc) that you can do - transport depending? And find baby classes etc to join ( will you need a car/public transport for these?) NCT run baby and bumps groups - place to get to know new Mums before birth maybe?

Sorry did not read replies so I did not post anything helpful! Hope all goes well

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the advice and I think the clubs etc will be great after baby is born when I have transport again, just need the next few weeks to become easier! X

Hi Ladypug, hope you're feeling a little better. Moving house can be very unsettling and exhausting, and you're very pregnant on top of that! No wonder you are feeling off. Listen to the good advice on here - you're never alone with MN!

Thank you Brooke, just trying to hang on in there and telling myself it's hormones and it will pass!

So sorry that you are feeling so low! Have you tried to see if there is a local (Facebook) mums group or similar near you? Might be worth checking out your nearest children centre, viallge or GP surgery, if they have a notice board.
Or maybe a book group? They are usually great ways of meeting people. Would you consider doing NCT classes? They are expensive, but so worth it.

Learn how to knit?! I learnt via youtube and you can while away HOURS looking at patterns/yarns and make a cute teddy for your baby?

Thanks Cloud - these are handy ideas. I'm doing antenatal classes but signed up for them in my old town so still don't know anyone locally - only 6 people in my class too! Thanks Calypso, yeah might have to do something like knitting, just miss human contact you know? X