Mad opinions /advice from family....

[Sleepybeanbump]

So far we've we've had:

Mother: Why do you need a car seat? Can't you just put the carrycot on the back seat?

Mother: Your cats will kill the baby.

Mother: You probably won't get any bigger [I was 5 months]

Mother: You need a drape over the cot. Babies like to feel cosy and enclosed and secure. In my day cots had little curtains over them....
Me: Erm, um, I've not seen such a thing for sale....
Mother: Well why don't you drape a blanket over the cot?
Me: Um, well, how would I attach it? it wouldn't be very safe...
Mother: [exasperated] You wouldn't attach it! Just lay it over the top of the cot!
Me: Er...I don't think that's very safe. It would probably fall on the baby.
Mother: Harrumph.

Also much eye-rolling and smirking and Daily Mail 'elf n safety type comments in reaction to any safety precautions...baby in our room for 6 months, sleeping on back, room temperature etc.... I turned down her offer of a baby pillow...that didn't go down well!

Anyone else on the receiving end of this sort of thing?!

Whenever I get the ol' 'we did that years ago...' line, I respond with something about painting the cot in lead paint, normally shuts people up pretty quickly

I posted a photograph of DH painting my toenails for me as I couldn't reach...got a barrage of comments about making sure the nail polish is a safe one to use in pregnancy, and it can't contain this chemical or that chemical...

You are all making me realise how much I don't want to get pregnant again!

I had my gran give my then 4mth old DC chocolate even though DC was suffering with a lactose problem (early formula feeding due to my much needed antibiotics highlighted this) and it was strictly breastmilk only until DC was old enough to check it wasn't a lactose intolerance. She told me off for 'interfering'

When I was expecting my first, my mil suggested I might like to consider a home birth, fair enough not a daft idea, at HER house! I politely declined ?? (I've since had 2hb and concede I would've been fine at home first time too, at MY house though!)

Oh Ollie, I had a friend like that. She was horrified I had painted nails during pregnancy. She was convinced I was poisoning the baby. During her pregnancy she turned down a free manicure because she was worried about the chemicals.

haven't read many of the comments but just wanted to post a msg to back you up. I suppose in terms of being thankful for small mercies, at least it's your mother and not your mother in law, that would probably be more awkward and annoying.

I am an expert at ignoring my mother and the various other completley stupid relatives, "friends" and "professionals" that I come into contact with. My mother is inadvertently responsible for me aquiring this skill, as she has been irrational, ridiculous and constantly critical etc all my life. And I'm being euphamistic there.

I could say more but I'll hold back! I'd love to see her reaction if someone recommended the drape thing to a cot death specialist! It's like recommending that you give the baby a lit match.

regarding cats, there is some truth to this apparenlty, so this is the other skill i developed, not to dismiss something just because it comes out of the mouth of a raving idiot. Apparently it's the smell of milk that comes off babies that makes some cats want to be as close to the smell as possible, ie, lying on the babies face. I don't have any documented evidence of this but I've definitely lived with cats who were lovable but stupid enough to do this kind of thing.

The cats and smell of milk thing is rubbish. Cats want warmth, which is why they like to curl up with a baby.

Standard measures like closing doors are more than enough to stop cats sleeping with babies. It is not necessary to rehome them.

If the smell of milk thing is true, you'd find cats cuddled up to milk bottles. My school constantly leave half drunk cups of milk around, which the cat ignores. In reality most cats are uninterested in milk once weaned onto solids.

oh god weetabix, i remember it being in the news that a baby had died from being given weetabix (to much salt in the ingredients).

"posted a photograph of DH painting my toenails for me as I couldn't reach...got a barrage of comments about making sure the nail polish is a safe one to use in pregnancy, and it can't contain this chemical or that chemical..."
this is why there a low-chemical alternatives available from independent health food shops and online. I used to work in this field so, without having the time to research or even sometimes obtain a full ingredients list, i wouldn't use any whilst pregnant, breastfeeding.

People assume chemicals are safe generally because they assume the govt regulates the industry tightly. It doesn't. Wish I could remember some of the websites that explain this but one of the main breast cancer charity websites is actually quite progressive with the advice it gives on this issue. As I understand it, the EU REACH legislation that was passed in the last few years means that there's currently a massive amount of retrospective testing of chemicals going on, that means they're being tested for safety AFTER being in things we consume for ages. It's like lead paint, arsenic paint, thalidomide, asbestos etc etc, science and legislation are only just catching up with many of the toxic chemicals that are in many products. Without stricter controls on new substances etc, this game of "catching up too late" will just go one.

I often find myself in situations where I know (because of my previous job) that things aren't safe but I don't say anything because most people take it personally and it takes a lot of effort to be diplomatic on top of all the other pressures that there are on me.

I live in the middle east and its the doctors here that have told my friends they MUST rehome their cats.

My mum has been largely sensible, apparently the midwife health visitor she used to see gave really inconsistent advice so she knows not to believe everything and that things change. However, she is convinced by the rusks thing! It's her favourite piece of advice. I mentioned baby-led weaning and she reacted like it was a form of torture for my poor starving child!
My MIL is stereotypically bonkers...
"let us know as soon as you go into labour so we can put the dog in kennels... in case it kills the baby when you bring it here from the hospital" (we don't live there, just more ott thinking...)
"when you start breastfeeding, baby will sleep through if you have wine with your dinner then feed before bed"
"you need a cot bumper to stop baby climbing out"
Just some of my favourites! In the first few weeks I'd come off the phone to her in tears but realised everyone has words of "wisdom" to pass on when you're pregnant, and it's best to nod, smile, and ignore everything! :)

I'm sure I read on a blog or somewhere to take any advice from someone who's not had small children within the last 5 years with a huge pinch of salt.

Best advise I've had so far was listen to it all and do your own thing.