Second trimester blues

[Worryingmum2b]

Just wondering if anyone has any reassurance or tips for how to keep your mood up and be excited about pregnancy when feeling so unwell :/ I've had morning sickness all day everyday since about 6 weeks, it progressed into severe vomiting at 13 weeks and now at 15 weeks I'm still signed off work, barely leave the house and am struggling to stay excited. The sickness and vomiting has eased a bit since the doctor gave me some tablets but the extreme exhaustion is still debilitating. I don't want to be off work much longer but everything I read about the 2nd trimester says how my energy will be increasing and I'll be feeling better and even getting my libido back (ha!). Any helpful advice please? X

I was raging at getting the 13 week NHS email that said I should now be feeling full of energy and morning sickness gone, wtf?!?!?

The things that keep me sane are the occasional bits of fresh air I get, even if just sitting next to an open window, and TV, lots and lots of TV. There are some great box sets on 4 on demand.

Maybe treat yourself to some nice maternity clothes/pyjamas?

I used to find baby name research online quite encouraging too.

Hope we both get that 2nd trimester feeling eventually!

I'm also second trimester and struggling - morning sickness and SPD and just generally feeling crap.

the first thing is - it is ok to feel crap. it is ok to not like pregnancy. its ok to wish if would hurry up and be over. I found I felt much better when I allowed myself to say these things. obviously be careful who you say these things to - a friend with fertility issues wont thank you for it, but try saying it to your DH/P or to yourself in the mirror.

don't think about what you should be doing/feeling. acknowledge how your personally feel right now and what would help. so if getting back into your pjs and watching Jeremy kyle will cheer you up, go and do that and don't feel guilty (I am currently MNing and eating a family size bar of dairy milk washed down with diet coke and my mood is improving!)

and don't worry about work, if you've been signed off its for a good reason, make the most of this time to be kind to yourself.

I also find baby name research is a good distraction! also nursery arrangements/decorations and pointlessly trivial stuff like what baby outfits to buy.

I also bought a t-shirt that says 'I love my bump' - it is a hideous shirt and I hate pregnancy slogan shirts as a rule but I wear it on the really bad days to remind me what an amazing thing my body is doing. my DM always knows to give me an extra big hug if she sees me in that shirt!

Me too April 2013! I've got one of the apps on my phone telling me what I'm supposed to feel at this point, it said this morning that I'd have my libido back, have more energy and will prob have gained 2kg. Well I've lost 4kg in 3 weeks, feel like death and have little to no joy throughout the day! The worst thing is people constantly suggesting ginger blumming biscuits!!! Haha! Seriously, do they not think that by now I've tried everything under the sun?! I'm just praying I get some energy soon, I'm a hospital nurse and work 12hr shifts on a busy unit and back on nights next week, genuinely don't know how I'll manage if this doesn't get better! :/ good tip with the box sets, more tv for me ;) xx

Thanks Maltavestrit, it's good to hear someone else admit how I feel. I do hate pregnancy, I was so naive and thought I'd love every magical moment and get that glow etc! How silly I feel now! Haha! I was worried about the lack of nutrition for me and bubs but midwife said bub is taking everything from me still which is why I feel so hideous so even if all I can eat in a day is crisps then that's ok. Made me feel better. I do find that planning the nursery etc helps but I still don't have that true excitement yet, just dread about how I'm going to manage work and feeling like this! X

I feel the same, starting to feel a bit better at 20 weeks but it's an individual :(

exactly right - babies are little parasites really! they take everything they need and leave you with nothing! so honestly it is fine to eat and drink what you feel you can manage. I think my only source of vitamins is coming from orange juice!!

unfortunately much of pregnancy/birth/parenting has become some weird competitive arena. I'm on pregnancy 3, I can assure you there are no medals awarded for doing things the 'right' way. I remember my first pregnancy and being convinced that by the power of thought it would all be just like the textbook. it wasn't, by a long way, and neither was the second pregnancy - but I have survived each one and my babies have all been healthy and that is the only thing that matters. don't put pressure on yourself to be the 'textbook pregnancy' girl - it so rarely happens and you just set yourself up to feel upset and disappointed and like you did something wrong.

I don't really have 'true excitment'. its all still a bit surreal. I don't feel a bond to my pregnancies - its just a shitty 9 months you have to go through and then you get given a baby! take one day at a time.

it sounds like your first pregnancy? so the competitiveness is at an all time high, trust me that once you have a few genuine friends with kids (I made a couple of lovely ones in my post natal group) and you can start being honest you'll be amazed at how much we all try to lie/cover up to give the impression of being supermum and doing it all 'right'.

That does make me feel so much better! It is my first pregnancy and I don't have many mum friends, all I hear from colleagues is "oh I loved being pregnant, i'm so jealous", i'm not a violent person but if I had a saucepan to hit them in the face with I might not be able to stop myself ;) good to know you've got healthy happy little ones despite horrible pregnancies and that you didn't bond with them until they were here. I've been worrying that I'll not bond with them or end up with postnatal depression because I don't feel much of anything towards the non-existent bump yet! Just consumed with self pity about how hideous I feel! Haha! Fingers crossed I start feeling better by 20 weeks aswell TenForward82, I really hope so! X

also there is the whole 'forgetting what it was really like' thing - I obviously knew I hadn't had easy pregnancies but here I am doing it again! the brain is a clever thing, if we really remember the full truth of it there would only ever be only children!! I knew I'd had sickness and SPD last time but its only now I'm actually experiencing it again I remember how bad it was last time (and how I vowed never to do it again!!) so take what other people say with a pinch of salt, a lot of it will be rose tinted glasses!