In the last 8 weeks I have had 6 hospital stays, several of them for multiple days and nights. I have an "underlying health condition" so have had unexpected admissions before. Nevertheless, DH and I have still learnt loads more "dos" and "don'ts" in these last 8 weeks than ever before. In case it helps mumsnetters in the future, I thought it might be good to share 6 things we have learnt.
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- Your mobile phone is your lifeline in hospital. Do not go into hospital (even by ambulance) without it and its charger
- Only you can articulate how things feel - this is helpful for those treating you
3.Recognising a fob off and politely but firmly standing ground
- The importance of actively participating
- Surviving hospital food
- Safely getting out of hospital. *
Details below (apologies for the long post)
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Your mobile phone is your lifeline in hospital; do not go into hospital (even by ambulance) without it, and its phone charger : Your phone is an essential survival device: '
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it is your access to the outside world (which can feel very far away in a curtained bay with no windows)
- it is your way of getting hold of DP / DH when they are not there
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you can play your music/ stream radio through earphones when the lady in the bed opposite you is snoring/ wailing/ talking/ machines beeping etc at 3am when you have had no sleep
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you can look at photos of better times to comfort yourself in the above circumstances
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you can take photos of baby. Our DD died at birth and it was so helpful for us to be able to take some photos (just for the two of us) to help remember her.
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through it you can access the internet to look up on patient.uk/ mumsnet etc a condition ,which you have never heard of but the doctor has just told you have, and you must choose between surgery or drugs within the next hour;
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you can make notes on it if you haven't brought a pad and pencil/pen.
If you are at home and going in by ambulance a phone and charger will take whoever is with you seconds to grab. If you end up in hospital for days and days, those will be seconds well spent. Those TV / phone units by hospital beds are no substitute at all.
Slightly lower down the list include: bottle of water, eye mask, ear plugs, toothbrush and toothpaste. These may be available in a hospital shop; your phone and its charger will not be.
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Only you can articulate how things feel - this is helpful for those treating you: A doctor / midwife can examine you, observe you, and read the results of tests. However, they cannot know exactly what you are feeling / sensing inside unless you tell them. This is particularly true in pregnancy, but also after. Clear, accurate, precise and succinct articulation is valuable both to them and to you. You may well have hours waiting to see a doctor, and minutes seeing them. Use your time wisely: observe what your body is doing/feeling/ telling you and tell the doctor / midwife succinctly. Knowing you have pain is helpful. Knowing exactly where and what type of pain (gnawing, cramping, sharp, dull, radiating, only comes on when I have a contraction, comes on when I move/ stand, does/ does not not change when my bowels move/pee, hot, icy, knife like, like a bruise, itching, stinging, like a bee sting, like broken glass inside etc) is even more valuable. If you have an unusual underlying health condition, and you have a recent clinic letter which summarises it, bring a photocopy with you. Obstetricians/ midwives may be fabulous, but they are unlikely to have as much knowledge of your underlying condition as your usual treating team (and perhaps you).
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Recognise a fob off and politely, but firmly, stand your ground
- "We tested you 3 days ago and it was normal".
-->but now it feels very different. I am bleeding, and was not then, and the pain is now 4x worse.
- "I am sorry the consultant is not around"
-->have you bleeped them? Are you saying there is no consultant on call? (There never is no consultant on duty: it is a hospital. They may not be able to come right now, but you may be able to wait. You may well be able to see a member of their team (registrar or SHO)). Birth Centres are always staffed 24 hours.
- "We know you have had no food for 6 hours but don't know if you are allowed to eat/drink"
-->have you asked the SHO/ SPR/ Consultant? Are any of them on the ward? Are they saying I must be nil by mouth? Do they know I am diabetic?
Remember - it is your body. You do not "have to" consent to any treatment / examination offered (although it may be a good idea to). It is your choice.
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Actively participate. In hospital it can feel like you have no control over anything. You can sit/ lie waiting for hours, then everything happens all at once (usually at 8.15am), obs are done and you never know what they show, food arrives and goes. However, provided you are not unconscious you can be mistress of your own destiny in a number of ways:
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when the doctors come on their ward rounds, ask them questions : what are the options? What are the risks and benefits of each? What do they advise is the plan? When are you likely to be discharged? are you allowed to do x, y, z. They may even allow you to wander to the café with a visitor and get some fresh air so long as you notify the ward staff. Ask when you can do this.
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your own clothes : if cannulated, catheterised etc you may not be able to wear anything other than a hospital gown, but you may be able to wear your own scarf/ cardigan/ shawl/socks. We now pack my "hospital cardigan" (a long waterfall cardigan in non-hospital-like fushcia pink which can be worn one armed when cannulated and wrapped around - and which covers my backside if I get out of bed when knickerless under doctors orders)
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move : unless you cannot or have been advised not to move, it is usually counterproductive to remain static in bed. If you can exercise, even by standing by your bed/ lying in it, moving your legs, this can make you feel so much better. I took to doing lengths of the ward corridor. It looked eccentric but it helped.
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Have some of your own toiletries : It is not a good idea to accumulate too many belongings in hospital - there is limited space, and when you are discharged you/ DP/DH will have to carry them. However I gained significant psychological strength from (a) having deodorant with (without which, after 5 days in hospital I would have stunk) (b) having my own shower gel. The hospital bathroom smelt not only of bed pans and disinfectant after that (c) having some nice smelling hand cream by my bed when I wasn't allowed up and about.
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Hospital food is often not as bad as it has a reputation for, but if you have food intolerances/preferences /vegetarian there may be very limited choice. In my experience:
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portions are very small (problematic if you are an underweight person burning up loads of energy healing)
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there may be a microwave in the ward day room in which DH/ DP/ a friend might be able to reheat food for you. This can be very useful if you miss lunch because of surgery and return to the ward ravenous.
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drugs which need to be taken with food are very rarely dispensed at the same time as meals . Have snacks with you, or bring your regular medication into hospital, take that with food, and tell the nurses so they note that you have taken it.
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never go into hospital (even for a routine appointment) without a bottle of water and some sustenance . You may be waiting 8 hours in A&E/ EPAGU/ ADU - regardless of what is actually wrong with you, without water you will by then be dehydrated and hungry - which rarely make you feel any better.
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the best choice from the hospital menu is usually that which looks closest to pie . Avoid the 'Cod Bonne Femme' at all costs.
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Getting out of there : If you are like me, you will be very keen to get out of hospital as soon as you possibly can. That mixture of sleep deprivation, stress, lack of autonomy and poor food makes 'getting better' difficult. When pregnant I tended to feel like escaping as soon as they found a fetal heart beat/showed a healthy baby on the scan. However, before discharge it is a good idea:
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to have a trial run with DP/DH/friend to the café first. If this ends with a collapse etc, however much you want to go home, it might be too early.
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to have a plan for if things go wrong : returning to hospital after a relapse/ disaster at home is stressful enough - doing so without a plan as to where/ when you go is more stressful and time consuming. Is there an EPAGU/ ADU specialist unit (rather than A&E)? Once you deliver, the hospital keeps your notes. If that has happened you need to know where those notes will be if you return. How should your surgeon / consultant be notified of your reappearance? Have you discussed the scenario 'if x happens you are likely to need y treatment/ surgery with your treating team. If the plan is written on your discharge summary/ maternity notes, this will save a lot of time and stress.
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to read through your discharge summary and highlight any gross inaccuracies and ask for them to be corrected . Spelling mistakes are common and should not cause trouble on readmission - but more major inaccuracies are also not uncommon. In my recent admissions I had only one accurate discharge summary. One said I had been given a drug I had not been which I later needed to get from my GP), another gave the wrong date for my operation, and discharge, another said I was under a totally different medical team....
Most hospitals have numbers of local taxi companies who can come and pick you up from a particular entrance. There may be a cash machine in the hospital. The taxi entrance and the cash machine may be no where near each other. It is a lot easier to get out of hospital after surgery with someone else there, to help carry bags / get cash out etc.
I hope this is not too doom and gloom, and helps others cope with unexpected hospital admission whether during or after pregnancy.