Feeling lost...

[princesspineapple]

Hello everyone, sorry for the impending essay but I'm hoping for some words of wisdom!
I'm 15 weeks pregnant with my first baby and feel completely lost about what I should be doing for care etc...
I went to my GP at 6 weeks which turned out to be a waste of time (apparently everyone knows this!) so then my first real appointment was the booking in with my midwife at 10 weeks.
Midwife booked my scan, then took my bp (always been on the high side) and said I'd need consultant care, so booked me in with the consultant at 14 weeks. Gave me the impression that the consultant would deal with all my questions and care going forward, so at this point I felt pretty confident and looked after :)
Scan was all fine. Had my consultant appointment at the start of this week and it was awful! The lady basically said they haven't got time to be fussing over people like me who are only a bit high risk, and said I should just have a few extra midwife appointments "if she's that bothered about your blood pressure". I was in and out in 10 minutes!
I've got nothing booked now before my 20 week scan. Feel clueless, and without sounding dramatic, a bit abandoned!
Really aware that the ball is in my court with sorting things out now but no idea when or who with?! What happens now?

Think you need an apt around 16 weeks with the community midwife. Contact them and ask.

I too had high BP in pregnancy which fell in the high but not sky high category. It didn't start to be high till about 30 weeks for me tho.
Basically I saw my GP or CM every week sometimes twice to get it check and wee dipped. I was constantly around 140/95 and had one scare of 140/100 with protein so went to hospital for monitoring but was actually ok so sent home.
I really reccomend that later on you read a book called your body your birth your baby. This mentally gave me so much all about having the birth you want even when you are high risk.
Just to give you hope I had a completely natural water birth without so much as a internal examination. BP was low enough on the day that I was allowed to just get on with it so even with all the extra care before it was ok on the day.

Good luck with your pregnancy

That's very unprofessional of the consultant and they shouldn't have said that, if they weren't concerned they should have just signed you off back to mw care.

There should be a list of appointments, who with and what week, in your notes? Yes to one at 16 weeks then every 4 weeks there should be something.

But also, 10 mins is pretty standard for an appointment after booking in. With first pregnancy it feels like someone should be holding your hand all the time (been there) but if it's going well then you are left to your own devices a lot. Unless your questions are specific to high BP, you can read up on pregnancy, ask on mumsnet etc

Hi sorry you felt disappointed with consultant. I think midwives refer to consultant care of any slight risk but consultants decide who they see and often do not see people before 20/24 weeks ( from my limited experience!) Agree was rude ( some sadly are!) but the fact they do not consider you high risk and only needing mw care sounds encouraging at this stage!

I think it is normal to feel lost and to want more from appointments. I was disappointed too - 10 mins with a midwife every 4 weeks. With my second despite being high risk due to various things the midwife said as a second pregnancy she saw me less - 8,16,28,32 weeks ( did not get past then!). I had a stillbirth last pregnancy, so consultant led this time which in reality means mw thinks hospital doing it all so only get a 16 and 28 week appointment and hospital have only booked me one extra early scan and meet with consultant and then the normal 12 and 20 week scans ( in - no extra appointments whatsoever!!) Hopsital's attitude seems to be nothing they can do before 24 weeks so are not seeing me apart from basic tests. Difference is I now have no false hope of an empathetic midwife who answers questions and listens - I know they do the tick box filling exercise in my form, the minimum they have to do and all in a short space of time!! I found the NCT classes I did was the space to ask questions.

I hope you bp stays ok for you and you feel more reassured. for what it is worth I found it easier to see a GP than a midwife ( as rarely saw me!) so if I felt ill or had concerns reminded myself gp's can dip urine, do blood pressure, prescribe ( unlike a mw) and refer!!

I'm high risk for pre-eclampsia (mum had it, and I had high BP prior to pregnancy). I was lucky enough to be in the right time and place to be put on a clinical trial, but the Dr said that if I wasn't on the trial then I would be getting no additional care or support until after 22 weeks anyway.

The midwife should still be seeing you at 16 weeks, so call them and book an appointment if you're concerned. Otherwise you should be ok until your 20 week scan.

Sorry for the hassle, I know it's annoying!

I'm consultant led for epilepsy and NON of my consultant appointments have lasted more than 10 mins (and that's been mainly me trying to ask qu's), one appointment lasted 5mins and it involved them explaining the growth chart to me and DH....the consultants have done little more than a midwife of doctor could note down. I've found them utterly pointless for my situation.

This is my first pregnancy too and, like you, I felt lost at the start due to botched NHS communication and lost paperwork so just chased the hospital for appointments and they pointed me in the right direction. But I'd say you need to start chasing for a 16 week appointment with your midwife now and then at that appointment chase up about your 20 week appointment - doesn't matter if your talking to the wrong person, just talk to everyone. If the professionals did their job properly you would not have to chase them.
(Sorry if that sounds bitter towards the NHS but I had hell of a time with them for first 16 weeks!)
Best of luck x

Thank you all so much for your replies :) Really pleased that other people thought the consultant was rude, and it wasn't just me being an over sensitive pregnant lady!
I found the page in my notes with all the appointments in so am finally a little more clued up! (in my defense, they'd stapled some more paperwork over that page... My poor book is a mess already!)
Called the midwife and she was cross with the consultant too and has booked me in for some extra growth scans, so that's something! And I've got an appointment with her next week :)
fredandme I'll definitely buy that book, sounds like everything went really well for you on the day, which is really what I'm hoping for.
sophiaslullaby your experience sounds terrible, you poor thing! Hope things run more smoothy from here :) I'm taking your advice of just talking to everyone even if they're not the right person... I'm not usually backwards in coming forward, but always find myself completely stunned in the appointments and just say nothing!
rooibos sorry you had such a difficult time with your pregnancies... I feel like a real drama Queen with my high blood pressure demanding more appointments, but it's only because that's what I was lead to believe I think. I'm quite lucky in that I've only really got morning (all day) sickness to contend with, and feel okay apart from this... I'd be happy with midwife care and my own devices if somebody would just tell me where to be and when! I think they just forget sometimes because they do this every day, that some of us really are coming into this pregnancy business completely uneducated!
Thank you everyone again! Love a bit of MN reassurance :)