Pregnancy at 49

[guesthere21]

Hi,

I really am looking for some advice. I am 49 years old and had two miscarriages at the age of 45 and I put off trying to have a baby for a while after that. I've also tried to get used to the idea of not having a child but despite having spoken to counsellors about it, I can't get over the idea of not having a child. It's causing a lot of depression and sadness and I think I'm getting bitter as a result. I would really like to have a child and wonder if it's reasonable to still pursue this? I would really like some encouraging advice, if possible :) Thanks

If it's possible, I don't see why not, if that's what you want and feel you can cope with.
You'll get a mixture of replies, you're selfish, too old, you'll be in your 70s when your children leave university etc. But we don't live in an ideal world, as you've found out.
I'm sorry you've had so much heartache, I hope it all works out for you

I would advise getting blood tests to check your hormone levels before you start trying. For me, 49 is too old, but every woman is different and it may be the right decisions for someone else or for you.

Just make sure you're not on the brink of menopause before you start TTC. I'm sorry about your previous miscarriages.

If you get IVF, you will need donor eggs. No pregnancy has successfully been carried to term by an IVF recipient of her own eggs over 45 years of age.

I was at a restaurant a few weeks back and there was a large family party at the table next to us. The party was to celebrate a lady's 50th birthday. All of a sudden we heard screams... she'd announced that she was 20 weeks pregnant with her first child .

I will be just shy of 42 when my first child is born and all being well will have another soon after. I've probably thought the same things as you - I'll be the oldest mum in my child's class, friends of mine have been grandparents for years and often many times over, I'll be retiring when (if) our child goes to uni, we'd die at 70 and leave our children alone etc etc.

Only you know how far you can go with your desire to be a mum. I'm sorry about your losses and but hope that you do get some encouragement from your Dr and medical professionals

I was on the opposite end of the scale, a young mum
The school gate shit is utter tripe. No one should make life choices based on it :o
You only live once. Grasp it by the hands and worry not what others think x

Nothing is impossible I personally know of twins born to someone after the age of 45. Actually I know a number of natural conceptions over 45. It's not common but it does happen.

I'm 46 and pregnant with donor egg IVf. I had all the tests done but likelihood of success with own eggs was 10% compared with 75% with donor. So glad we went with this decision, can't wait to see my baby!
Good luck to you!!

A friend of mine had her first (and only) child at 49, took everyone by surprise. Dc has recently got a first at university. Happy, resourceful and wonderful child, now lovely adult. Give it at least one more try, if you can.

Hi Everyone,

Thanks, I appreciate the encouraging advice. I worry too much about what other people will think of me being pregnant at this age. I've never really had a lot of confidence and I'm a self-consicious person. However, I'm also very anxious that if I don't do anything about it I will regret it. So, I am stuck and even though I have spoken to a Counsellor it didn't really help. What should I do? I wish it was easy to adopt a two or three year old because I would do that, I think. I live in the UK and worry about the social worker visits and things like that. I am so stuck about this and it would be great if I knew someone around here that was pregnat at my age.