Today I discovered I'm pregnant, it's CD28 for me of my 30 day cycle and I've got my BFP.
Not even a month ago, I had a miscarriage at 10+ weeks, of which left me very distraught. I've only had a bit of action once since my miscarriage (obviously that one time I conceived!), and haven't since due to not feeling 'ready'.
About a week after miscarrying, I thought in my head that the only way I could see a light though this is by carrying again. My partner said "well if it's meant to happen it's meant to happen, we're not using anything now". I must admit though, since he said that sex and babies were the last thing on my mind since I was so bashed by my loss.
Fast forward to today and I'm over the moon to be expecting, but not only am I terrified about miscarrying again, I'm scared for my finances.
I honestly can't see why I didn't think through. Here's my issue: I've just lost my job due to severe illness and my health is in terrible shape. Not only do I now have no income of my own (apart from my £57.70 a week of ESA), I'm worried about how this pregnancy will take its toll on my health (not just for my sake, my babies sake).
I haven't told my partner yet, as he's away fishing and working until Tuesday, but I will of course announce the news on his return. We do indeed live together and share financial responsibility for bills/rent/food. Sadly, he doesn't earn a fortune by any stretch of the imagination, he's on around £250 a week. We do get our housing paid for, which is a huge relief as I just don't know what we'd do without, even without a baby.
My point is we're really financially struggling and I just don't see how we'll manage that with a baby (but under no circumstances is this baby going anywhere but in my womb or in my arms).
I know I'd be entitled to a SureStart Maternity Grant, Child Tax Credit and Child Benefit, but can we support a child comfortably with that? Of course, I'm looking for a part time Administration job/Secretarial but they're not easy to come by (yes I have applied for all and check regularly for updates). Due to reasoning behind my control, I cannot physically work full time due to illness (even part time is questionable really), and believe me I would if employers didn't get rid of me because under the law, I'm deemed unfit for work and a potential health hazard.
Now I've lost my job, things are in a whole new light and I'm wondering how my partner is going to react since this is a completely different ball game. Our income has been halved.
Thank you for any advice/support 