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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant again, straight after miscarriage?

10 replies

Sleepsoon · 16/09/2015 20:33

Today I discovered I'm pregnant, it's CD28 for me of my 30 day cycle and I've got my BFP.

Not even a month ago, I had a miscarriage at 10+ weeks, of which left me very distraught. I've only had a bit of action once since my miscarriage (obviously that one time I conceived!), and haven't since due to not feeling 'ready'.

About a week after miscarrying, I thought in my head that the only way I could see a light though this is by carrying again. My partner said "well if it's meant to happen it's meant to happen, we're not using anything now". I must admit though, since he said that sex and babies were the last thing on my mind since I was so bashed by my loss.

Fast forward to today and I'm over the moon to be expecting, but not only am I terrified about miscarrying again, I'm scared for my finances.

I honestly can't see why I didn't think through. Here's my issue: I've just lost my job due to severe illness and my health is in terrible shape. Not only do I now have no income of my own (apart from my £57.70 a week of ESA), I'm worried about how this pregnancy will take its toll on my health (not just for my sake, my babies sake).

I haven't told my partner yet, as he's away fishing and working until Tuesday, but I will of course announce the news on his return. We do indeed live together and share financial responsibility for bills/rent/food. Sadly, he doesn't earn a fortune by any stretch of the imagination, he's on around £250 a week. We do get our housing paid for, which is a huge relief as I just don't know what we'd do without, even without a baby.

My point is we're really financially struggling and I just don't see how we'll manage that with a baby (but under no circumstances is this baby going anywhere but in my womb or in my arms).

I know I'd be entitled to a SureStart Maternity Grant, Child Tax Credit and Child Benefit, but can we support a child comfortably with that? Of course, I'm looking for a part time Administration job/Secretarial but they're not easy to come by (yes I have applied for all and check regularly for updates). Due to reasoning behind my control, I cannot physically work full time due to illness (even part time is questionable really), and believe me I would if employers didn't get rid of me because under the law, I'm deemed unfit for work and a potential health hazard.

Now I've lost my job, things are in a whole new light and I'm wondering how my partner is going to react since this is a completely different ball game. Our income has been halved.

Thank you for any advice/support Cake

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Brummiegirl15 · 16/09/2015 20:37

I don't have any answers to your financial stuff and I hate to ask this next question but have you had a bfn prior to seeing this latest BFP?

I've had 3 mcs and for my last one it took 4 weeks to get a negative, I literally got positive tests right up until that point.

I'm worried your positive isn't actually positive but hormones left over from your mc and if it's only a month and you were 10 weeks, that is very very likely Sad

Ignore me though if you'd already seen a bfn

I'm so sorry for your loss, I've been there 3 times and know the agony only too well Flowers

Sleepsoon · 16/09/2015 20:39

Hi Brummie, thank you for your reply!

Yes I've had a negative since, it was already more or less negative as I was miscarrying really and then went completely negative after a week or so x

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Brummiegirl15 · 16/09/2015 20:44

Phew!! I know that doesn't answer your original question though...

Someone who knows more will be able to answer I'm sure!

Sleepsoon · 16/09/2015 20:46

Oh no worries! I'd be cautious too lol.

I'm so sorry you've had to endure such horrible experiences as a miscarriage is Flowers

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thisisnow · 16/09/2015 20:48

Sorry for your m/c Flowers

No advice really but in the same boat. My partner is on a low wage and rent is crippling us. People tell me that you do manage somehow though so that gives some hope? You can buy a lot of baby stuff second hand like prams etc.

I have already saved money since being pregnant as I've been too ill to go anywhere!

Sleepsoon · 16/09/2015 20:50

Hiya thisisnow,

I've got £1000 in saving, of which I'll be spending on new pram for baby and clothes etc, but I'm not a prune to second hand at all anyway.

I'm very lucky to have something at least. When that's gone though.. It'll be hard.

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Runningupthathill82 · 16/09/2015 21:11

Sleepsoon, congratulations on your bfp. I hope it all works out well this time.

In terms of your finances, am I right in thinking you and DP together earn around £300 a week but have no housing to pay for? If so, you'll be fine - that's roughly what we live on and we have a very nice life. One DS, another due January.

All the best to your family.

Junosmum · 16/09/2015 21:15

Sorry for your loss and congratulations on your pregnancy. I don't know about your specific health concerns but I know a number of people who got considerably better when pregnant (fibromyalgia, eczema, chrons etc) and a fair few who We're healthy and pregnancy knocked the stuffing out of them. Are you on any medication for your health?

£1000 is plenty to buy all you need if you aren't averse to second hand. We've spent £497 and pretty much just need to buy a new mattress and car seat. Anything after that is totally frivolous! We have pretty much everything!

Good luck with it all.

Sleepsoon · 16/09/2015 21:59

Thank you for all the congratulations and advice. Yes I suppose it is £300 a week for ourselves but we have to take gas+electric, food shopping and whatever TV/internet is costing.

It's good to know that some people are okay during pregnancy that are really ill! I'm still in big shock and I actually feel quite numb to the whole thing Hmm

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Runningupthathill82 · 16/09/2015 22:21

Honestly, sleep, £300 a week is a lot of money! We don't have as much as that to cover council tax, water, gas, electric, food, transport, and all the rest.
And as I said upthread, we have a lovely life. You'll be just fine.
I think having a clear £1200 a month free each month after mortgage is average, not on the lower side of things at all - but I could be wrong.

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