Can't shake the fear

[Mentalist83]

Had lots of scares this pregnancy due to previous miscarriages, early bleed, need for repeated scans as signs at 12 AND 20 that needed to be looked at again by senior consultant etc but all turned out to be fine, super lucky and actually now 31 weeks and been reassured no more at risk of anything going wrong than anyone else, so should be relieved! Thing is, think been so anxious and so accustomed to feeling so almost assume must be reason for the feeling and terrified something that wouldn't show up wrong. Is stupid as should be relieved, but actually worrying about impact of all the stress itself now. Gp lovely, dh chilled and can't understand why worried - even pointed out last test for Gd totally straightforward - why can't I relax?! Anyone else nuts? Or even better been nuts and come through with healthy kid they hadn't sent nuts with all their worrying?! XXXX

You need to take a deep breath and calm down. All of the worrying will do you no good whatsoever. Your baby is fine. You have seen a senior consultant and they have said that your baby is fine. If you are using dr google - get off it!! I am the biggest worrywart in the world!! I've had 2 miscarriages and a stillbirth of twins, 6year old DD and am currently pregnant last frigging time - yippee!! with my soon to be born son (20 days left) I panicked over everything in the beginning but once I got past the first 12 weeks I kind of gave myself a short sharp speaking to... And chilled (that's not to say that I haven't had panics... I have but only when necessary - reduced movements etc).

Not to be patronising but if you tried any relaxation techniques?? Could your dp give you a massage (with you lying on your side??) or a nice bath with candles (as this is the best way, for me at least, to see and have an early bond with your baby.

you'll soon realise (when your baby is screaming its lungs out at 3am) that there is and was nothing tk worry about x good luck xx

Thank you, you're right. Gp did say something lovely, that all the stuff online about stress is because is bad for mum not baby so to take care of me and he would be fine. Man, you're super strong and impressive coming through that, huge luck for the birth really wish you well xxxx

Thank you x if you need to chat about anything give me a message and I'll try to help. X keep breathing xxx good luck xxx

Me!!!

I had three previous miscarriages, an awful pregnancy, numerous tests and was convinced I wouldn't have a healthy baby at the end of it all. I actually think I should have been on some sort of anxiety medication, but that's a whole other thread - my point is, my happy, healthy 17 week old daughter is fast asleep as I type!

It's no wonder you've been stressed, but try and relax - I found some of the mindfulness/relaxation apps brilliant to listen too as I was nodding off. You'll have your baby here safe and well before you know it

I was you, except i didnt reach out for any help and ended up quite poorly after i'd goven birth with anxiety. A year on and im much better, but i do have bad days. The fact that youve realised you need to take a step back and relax is good - you've made it this far! Spend this time without baby here really enjoying your life with DH. What's to come is incredible, look forward now and start getting excited

While there is some evidence that stress in utero can affect babies via cortisol, I believe this is mostly extreme stress, and the effects are mostly physiological (like metabolism) not psychological. Don't worry about your baby being screwed up - your unconditional love and support after they are born will FAR outweigh any effects from raised cortisol levels at the moment.
Good luck.