Reassurance needed

[milkyman]

Im 40, have one 3 yr old ds and am 9 weeks. Was a shock as hadnt decided to have another. Feeling utterly traumatised. Had a horrific birth and 1st year was awful. I love my toddler now but the thought of putting myself through it all again... especially now i am 40. Life was getting better.

I see the MW tomorrow and dont know what to say - i feel so selfish. Not sure i can go through with it but not sure i could cope with other option. I read all these excited posts and wish i could be excited. Is a 3.5 gap a good one. Is a 2nd baby less of a shock?

hi, I can't really relate as I am one of those excited first time mums to be but my thoughts are with you-I can imagine this must be very hard.

I am positive that whatever you decide you will be fine-it will be hard either way but you have a lovely child now and you need to think of yourself and your child-you are here now. Good luck and take care of yourself.
All the best!

This is lovely :) I think there are WAY more positives about this then you may think! The second time around you will be more prepared as to what's to come. The first baby is always hard because you have to learn everything and that makes it more stressful. The 2nd baby you will be a pro :)

Another great thing is your 3 year old will have a playmate for life :) So instead of always concentrating on one baby you will get to look forward to them playing together. I have a brother and we constantly played with each other and did everything together. We are still really close (at 28 and 29 years old). I'm not sure if you celebrate Christmas but if you do, just think of your two kids getting all excited over xmas together on christmas eve. There is nothing quite like it. :) They will be able to talk to each other and play, and experience their lives together :) It is a magical thing :) I think this is a blessing. It may seem scary now but it's a huge blessing :)