Perhaps I'm just a snob, but isn't this a little grabby?

[LidlSoph]

Hi all,

So a (distant) cousin of mine is having a baby shower, hosted by her Mum, and along with the invitation my own Mum recieved (it says [shall we call her Gwen) Gwen and family, I didn't receive any type invite), they've sent along with it a fucking gift list!

The top says "Price range? Not to worry, there's a different price category to suit!" Following this, is 3 different headings of "£0-5, £6-25 and £50"
To add further insult, there isn't a humble comment of 'please don't feel you need to bring anything along but if you want to etc"

I find baby showers insanely grabby in the first place (unless the Mum to be didn't know one was being sarcastic planned), but the girl does and won't shut up about it on Facebook

What do you think?

You're suggesting that not me. Tradition where I come from. End of

What a pleasant person you sound

I'm hardly slagging off everyone who has one though, am I? It's grabby, the of. She isn't living in America, and what's more, like someone has said, it would be called a get together of some sort, not a 'shower', if no gifts were excepted.

I dislike them anyway but the gift list really wound me up, sorry. The ladies Mum texted my own Mum last night asking what she was getting from the list! Bloody cheek, she didn't even say 'are you thinking of getting from the list?' She just said 'what are you getting'.

If they're a surprise to the mum to be, fair play. But to know about it and include gift lists etc is just rude and distasteful. Like I said, it's none of my business what she does and I never planned to mention it to her. I just posted the post to see if anyone else had a good point to go against my view.

I think the way this shower has been planned isn't great. But I don't have an issue with them as such. I assume those who do have never bought anyone a wedding present off a gift list?

I don't mind baby showers but I do think that they need to remain modest. Baby showers are not an excuse for outsourcing all the costs related to equipping your nursery.

sparechange

Perhaps I didn't express that well? I'm not in any way believing in tempting fate - that's magical thinking and logically erroneous.

What I mean is that for me personally, as I approach what is going to be a tricky and risky birth, I am trying to take one day as it comes and focus on how things are now. It would be intrusive and upsetting for me to be faced with a baby shower. I wouldn't like a pre baby gift free afternoon tea either - I just need to get through the next few weeks, which are very stressful for me. Once we are both through this, people can bring gifts, come see us, whatever, but for me right now, I don't want it.

River tam, I prefer to give the gifts for baby after birth. If I do attend a baby shower as I said up thread, I'd take something for the buffet and maybe a drink.
Wedding lists are different IMO. It's normal for an invited guest to buy a gift of some description. A dozen toasters are not very helpful, whereas 20 babygros or 30 bibs do come in handy.
My niece had a baby gift list on Amazon for family and friends who specifically asked. She had a certain colour scheme she wanted so we asked her what in particular she was looking at. Grandma bought the pram, another bought the crib, I bought the Moses basket and stand. We as close family indicated to her this was what we were wanting to buy but, she had the choice of which specific one. There was nothing wrong with that. She also had packs of bibs and babygros on that list too.

Baby showers are not an excuse for outsourcing all the costs related to equipping your nursery.

I thought that's exactly what they were for! (I have never had one for myself, by the way. But I have planned one for someone else. Didn't send out a list though!)

Sparechange it's just a superstition that, other than parents, it's bad luck to buy a gift for a baby before it's born. Hence a baby shower would be tempting fate. Along the lines of counting chickens before they're hatched etc. There's another about giving a baby silver the first time you meet it too.

I don't know about you but when I was pregnant I worried about everything - if I'd make it past 3 months; about screening test results; about miscarriage, still birth etc. then cot death etc after. I've never stopped worrying since! When pregnant I'd have had a fit if someone had brought a premature gift. It was just not done then.