Pregnant with baby no2 and not feeling at all maternal.

[kirstywade82]

Hey all,
So as the subject says I'm 13 weeks pregnant with dc2 and I've been feeling a bit anxious and worried as I don't feel at all maternal. When I was pregnant with ds I felt very protective of him straight away, talked and sung to him, imagined him growing inside me but this time there is none of that. I'm excited to have another baby and was relieved to see all was ok at the dating scan but it feels so different this time.
I did have PND when my ds was 3 months old and although I have recovered I am worried that might be a factor.
I suppose what I really need to know is if anyone else has felt this way? Is it normal?

I am. I've no idea why. I felt very connected to DS right from the word go, I could imagine him in there. I was deeply joyful.

This time (also 13 weeks with no 2) it's not the same. I just don't believe s/he is in there. I've had countless scans, have been listening weekly with a Doppler since 10 weeks, I know it IS real but I don't feel it. Now worrying I'm not/won't bond.

I've had two mcs between DS and this pregnancy and was dreadfully anxious the first 9 weeks or so.... I've calmed down since in that regard but part of me is still aloof. I do get flashes of excitement so that's something.

Speaking to my friends with 2 about this yesterday, and they both said they barely noticed/thought about being pregnant the second time. They didn't connect with the unborn in the same way because they were so focused on the children they already had. Made me feel a bit better.

I hope it is normal as I feel slightly the same! I am only 11 weeks so not had a scan yet but the sickness is confirmation in itself!
I am not connected at all to this dc yet but hoping as they start to grow and I feel movements it may come later.
Don't worry too much, my friend said she was the same for the simple fact that you don't have the time or the energy to actually think much about the pregnancy...well I don't with a toddler running riot all the time!

Just realised I posted with boys there about the friends bit!
At least it's not just us!

I can't connect with baby number 2 either. I'm only 8 weeks pregnant but I think it's partly because I mc 8 weeks ago so the fear is there and partly because I have hyperemesis so I feel sick as a dog and like an alien has invaded my body! Plus I can't do anything including spend time with dd as I'm literally stuck in bed all day with a bowl glued to me.

I think it's true you're so busy dealing with dd/ds1 that you don't have the time to sit and think about the second baby. I'm 36 weeks now with baby no.2, it's flown by.. baby seems a lot lot more real and now I'm wondering if I'll have enough love to go around... my friend told me that once they are born it feels like they have always been there :-)

Another one feeling the same. Tried over 2 years for this one and thought I would be shouting it from the rooftops when I finally fell pg but I've hardly told a soul. Just doesn't feel real at all. Got really excited at the 12 wk scan but a few days later just back to normal 'nothingness'. Hoping I'll feel better once I start feeling some movements perhaps

24 weeks with dc 2 here. It definitely isn't the same this time. I can see and feel him kick but I'll still have flashes of 'omg I'm pregnant there's a baby in me!' But there's no wistful bump stroking and dreaming of what he'll be like this time. More stressed about the logistics of being due around Christmas and keeping it magic for dd.

I think it's normal second time round. At least I hope it is.

I'm 15 weeks with my first and not feeling maternal. Don't get me wrong, this baby is wanted, and will be loved, but I don't feel protective towards him/her and there's no talking or singing. My brain just does not work like that. I think it will get better when I am more pregnant, and have a bump. At the moment I just don't feel pregnant (just a bit shitty at times!)
I wouldn't worry, I think hope it's normal.