19 weeks pregnant single and struggling

[Jaynes1106]

Hi there. I'm wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation to myself. In 19 weeks pregnant with 3 children already the youngest of whom is 9 months. I've found myself single because when I fell pregnant with this wee one now the relationship was already rocky and my partner said he didn't want the baby. I've suffered from pnd since the birth of my 9month old and now am facing the entire pregnancy and birth of the baby on my own (i left 10 weeks ago) I'm finding it difficult to face life on my own especially when my ex has a carefree existence now while I'm looking after our baby and pregnant plus raising my 2 other children from my first marriage.We both knew we would have another child (happened a bit sooner than expected) but his reaction to both me (he doesn't trust me anymore for falling by accident) and the baby (he just doesn't want it) has knocked me for six. Really struggling to see a way forward.

ah you poor thing! not the best predicament to find yourself in but please do not believe that you need this inconsistent and seemingly selfish man to be a good parent to your new baby or existing children.

He may have a carefree life but he has also lost out on the absolute pleasure of seeing, hearing and experiencing all of the things that you will experience raising your children! Try not to focus on what he is doing with his life, and you just spend time taking care of yourself and enjoying your children.

Talk to your midwife or healthcare provider if you are feeling down, they will see that you get listened to and taken care of. Do you have a friend or family member that you could bend the ear of or maybe take your kids out for a little while you relax and recouperate?

hello sweetie.. please don't worry although I'm not in your situation I have dealt with a shocking breakup where I lost my job my home my boyfriend due to him having an affair with my friend. It caused me ptsd and an eating disorder and anxiety. I was a mess I hated everyday it was more than a struggle. so I know about hard times and I promise you this. Speak up to those that have your best interests at heart. Its not always family as in my case I sought a new friendship and let it all out. You're not alone because you don't have a partner. No partner is better than a useless partner. So let it all out and join local groups in your area and make friends and connections. Try local coffee shops, libraries or churches for classes to take your kids too. Even via this site or other social networking sites you will find support and new friends. But be open about your struggles. You sound like a woman who is strong...strong woman cry too. You will never be alone if you're open about your issues true friends and family will assist you. Don't be afraid to reach out to support groups that's what they are there for. Best of luck and good luck with your pregnancy

Thank you both so much for the responses. I feel quite isolated in all of this. My family are good people but not very involved in anything at all. I have one really good friend who's been doing her best to help. I moved out of my local area to live with him but have moved back 10 weeks ago and am struggling to put roots down and find new groups. Im 32 and a lot has changed since I had my first son at 21. I feel as though I would have got a better reaction from a one night stand or a young boy than a man whom I've known for over 5 years and already made a family with. He seems to have just slotted back into life as a single man and that hurts a lot. My gp and midwifes are great and are fully aware of the situation. I just feel so depressed and in turn am worrying about the baby.

Jlou2015 that sounds awful! I hope you've came out the other side and fairy features I will try and take on your advice. I've been seeing a counsellor privately which isn't making the progress as fast as I would have liked but that's more a reflection of me than the counsellor. Never felt as bad. Thank you both so much x

Bless you. I am better thank you I needed time alone and to day away from men and get to know me. I met someone special and it's been over a year and a half and I am now pregnant (a few weeks gone) and I am happy. I lost a lot. My family weren't there accept 2 sisters and it hurt. I had none but them so I went out and socialised in coffee shops and made a couple of new friends instantly. It was those friends who I offloaded the awful truth too. Speak up is always my advice and trust your instincts. I had some dark days I did and I have learnt how cruel people can be. That's actually a good lesson because its made me stringer and wiser. Human nature can be cruel and I learnt the extent of that!!! You are sounding better already and that is because you are opening up. These things manifest and you need to get rid of that negativity. Keep negstive peiple at bay be it family or friends and surround yourself with positivity. Thats what i did because you are hurting and the hurt isnt negative it's you letting out your feelings. But don't feel anger towards others that's there problems and you can't be responsible for others. Look after you and the people that matter to you. You will feel great in no time. Keep that conselling up and trust me you will look back and realise you did the right thing. Look to the future. It will be better X