c section with no support

[trian]

i'm due a c section in the first wk of Nov.
I'm single and I have very little support, although I do have the offer of going to stay with someone who is totally overbearing and will no doubt use the opportunity to take the baby off me and do what she wants with my baby. I can't stand the thought of that after everything i've been through to get here.
What I'd like to know from mumsnetters is; how debilitated am I likely to be? I have read about women crawling up the stairs after a c section, I'm quite happy to do this but is that always possible? I'm happy to wee etc in a bucket downstairs!
I have got the odd friend who would bring me stuff and do stuff for me, but how much help am I likely to need?

Crawling up the stairs?! Really?
I've had 2 and never once crawled up the stairs, that's what painkillers are for.
Get the painkillers and take the painkillers, even when you don't feel like you need them, keep a lid on that pain.
You can't drive or push a Hoover round and you don't much feel like doing them things anyway. But as I had another child to do stuff for, I kind of took my time and did stuff as I was able.
It's good to get your own routine and do it your own way.
All the best x

My sister had a section on Friday and has been told not to lift anything heavy for 6 weeks. She has staples though and she said its the staples causing the most pain. Hospital gave her dyhydracoceine (could be spelt wrong) for at home. You will need help but you could speak to consultant if any help you can access

If there is nothing else you could consider a doula to help in the first few weeks. Obviously there is a cost implication of this tho x

No crawling up stairs here either! I was discharged the next day and put a wash load in and took it out and hung it that night, it was fine. I obviously wouldn't have done that had I been on my own with the baby but I could, iyswim?

I second keeping on top of the painkillers, take them even if you don't feel like you need them and get up and moving as soon as you can after the section.

I was expecting it to be so much worse, I was really surprised at how easy I found it. Obviously everyone's experience is different but it won't necessarily be a bad one!

I'm a midwife and have never known anyone be crawling anywhere. I think if you were in so much pain the hospital wouldn't discharge you until it was improved.

IME women are shuffling the day after the op and maybe a bit bent over. Then the day after that they are a lot improved.

You should be able to pick your baby up, make a cup of tea, make toast, microwave type meals, dress yourself.

Personally I met the community midwife when she visited when dd was 3 days old (after a section) running down the stairs with a full laundry basket. I got quite the telling off.

I think you would be fine on your own especially with friends you can call on. Good luck.

I was painting a kitchen shortly after my section ... Which was probably a bit silly but hey ho.

I think the most important advice I can offer is to watch out for UTIs. They're the thing that affected me the most post section.

And get some mintec tablets or mint tea for any referred gas pain.

It probably won't be that bad. I found within a week or so I was pretty ok - walking slowly, obviously, but reasonably ok.

Having said that, I don't think being on your own in a house 24/7 after major surgery is possibly the best thing. There are of course risks involved as it is a major operation, so it would be useful to know people were coming around to help over the first few weeks.

I would talk to your midwife and ask whether it will be possible for you to stay in hospital for several days after your cs (I was in for 5 days and I was certainly much more capable on day 5 than day 2) and not be discharged until you feel relatively ok. Also would any kind of home help or social worker or similar be able to come around every day to help out and check that you are ok. If you could then combine that with people coming around then that might do it.

Realistically, I don't think many women would be in a position of crawling up and down the stairs (though it would certainly be a good thing to try and plan a way of not having to go up and down stairs much!) it's very likely that you will be absolutely knackered, as you'll be recovering from major surgery as well as having a newborn to look after. I'm certain in that first week or two, even popping to the shop for milk or a prescription would have been beyond me!

I would say if the mw can put you in touch with supportive people and you can make a plan to have help at home then it should be ok. If not and you are relying on friend popping in once a day for 15 mins on their way home from work, then maybe not.

It is hard to know beforehand how you will feel. You might be fine. But you don't know, and so if you can make plans for both situations that might be best.

It might be difficult but you can do it, especially if it's your first and no other DCs at home.
Get as much set up beforehand as possible e.g.meals you can microwave, get all the washing done, set up on one floor if possible (although stairs are possible, just hard work!)
I found a stretchy wrap easier than the buggy for short trips as no pushing.
Keep on top of pain relief and just rest as much as possible. Newborns don't mind where they are so don't feel pressured into getting out loads at first unless you want to.
All the best

It never occurred to me that I had a choice to stay in hospitality longer! Didn't know you could do that! Wow!!
I was desperate to get home to ds 1, had to walk him to school from week 2, so was pushing the pram through the snow, too fat to do my winter coat up, freezing and exhausted but my goodness that fresh air was AMAZING. It was so good to be out of the house!!

Pushing the pram was ok too,

Full freezer with ready meals, bread and milk and if you can get someone to do the laundry for you for first week or two that would be perfect! Keep on top of the painkillers as others have said, absolutely do not push yourself, and look after the wound well in the first couple of weeks especially to avoid infection. I got three wound infections post cesarean and they are what made it absolutely unbearable and I couldn't have managed without help then. Salty water on the wound twice a day and lots and lots of air so it's lovely and dry.

All these super women hanging out washing and pushing prams! It is not big or clever- you need rest. OP take it easy and if you are breastfeeding, let your HCP know so you are prescribed painkillers that don't interfere with breast milk.

It is unlikely you will be crawling, but the C section shuffle is a popular dance on the post natal ward. Don't carry heavy stuff and if you can avoid it, don't push heavy stuff like trolleys if you can help it.

You will have fat, tissue and muscle trying to bond back together, along with the uterine wall. You may feel OK but that sticking back together process can't happen if you try and be superwoman.

Good luck and I'm sorry you don't have anyone to help you more.

Totally echo pp. Do not under aby circumstances push yourself. The danger of painkillers is that they can lead you to believe that you're OK when you're not. You absolutely have to rest, not lift anything other than your baby for quite a while. I think a doula is a great idea if you can afford it - I'd ask a few as if they're not attending your birth then they will likely offer you a much reduced rate. Or get a cleaner in for the first month. It will be worth it!

just want to say thanks to everyone that's posted, you've been a massive help, special thanks to the midwife that posted.
i feel much, much happier about the prospect of going home after the section now cos i think that as long as i prepare and get people's commitment in advance, i'll be able to cope, fingers crossed
thanks again,
t xxxx

I personally found getting up from chairs the hardest thing- I had very little core strength for about 10 days after. Once I was up moving was far easier so I didn't find stairs a problem provided I walked up them slowly.

I've had two - one elcs and one emcs - and am due to have my 3rd in 4 weeks' time. After both I've driven around a week afterwards and have no trouble with stairs etc. I avoided lifting for a couple of weeks, but really the recovery was no problem. FWIW, I live abroad and all my friends work fulltime, so I've never had much support around either, apart from DH. The midwives and doctors really encourage you to be at least a little active here. Certainly for me it seems to have helped me have a speedy recovery.

I think like others said you need to take it easy but it's all fine if you do things gently and slowly.

Before you go in try and make sure if your living in a house (2 floors), that you have set up somewhere for baby to sleep downstairs and upstairs already so your only carrying carry not baskets and large things up and down. Also order some multipacks of water, you can keep a pack next to sofa and pack next to bed so don't need to get up and down as often the first week. Same with food, make some instant meals and freeze so you don't have to stand and chop the first week, can just pop in oven and eat.

Have enough baby grows/ muslins/ clothes for you so you don't have to wash every few days. Means you have at least first week without needing to bend down

If you can afford it maybe look at getting a cleaner the first 6 weeks. They will change your and baby bedding, help with laundry, Hoover, clean properly for you, unload dishwasher if you have, empty bins etc. Once a week should be plenty but will give you more time to heal without overly bending and lifting.

You can do it. Admittedly I had help, but there's a few things you can do in preparation. Off the top of my head:

Make sure everything is in non-bending reach, e.g I put one of those hanging basket things in the shower so I didn't have to bend down for shampoo etc.

Change baby at waist height e.g on your bed or a changing table, rather than on the floor.

Loads of pre-cooked meals or easy things in the freezer.

A cleaner, if you can afford it, even if only for a few weeks. If not, no worries, the house won't fall down if it's not cleaned.

Each morning put on the sofa a bottle of water, snacks, remotes, book/kindle, laptop, phone, whatever you'll need for the inevitable hours on the sofa.

Good luck! The pain goes away eventually and you'll move easily, even if it doesn't feel like it at the start.

Do you have any ability to pay for a little help in the first week or two? It doesn't have to be a doula or a cleaner, maybe even a sensible local teenager who is happy to go to the shop for you and do some washing up etc for some cash in hand?

For me there would be two things to think about:

1. Bits and pieces you don't know you need until you need them. What if you can't get out the house but need peppermint tea, infacol, more nappies etc. The bits you haven't planned for in your online shop etc. And you need NOW!!! Have you got friends who could bring things over?

1. Getting down in the dumps - feeling crap physically is annoying after a while and you might just get fed up. Again - are there people who can help with that?

Online shopping, help with washing, getting nappies etcl laid out can be done in advance or when you have someone to help as you figure out what you want. Not unlike a dh going back to work after pat leave.

How will you get home from hospital?
Are you near a shop etc,?

And yes - stay in until you are ready.

Hope it all goes well!!!

I agree with pps... It's really not that bad at all. Stay longer in hospital if you can - just until you have reasonable mobility. I had a section and pushed my baby out of the ward in the pram 3 days afterwards! The only thing that is tough is sitting up from laying down so have a think about this you can pull yourself up on etc. And think about a cosleeper if that's feasible for you - chicco next to me is good. Best of luck with everything!