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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

MIL problems

2 replies

PoppyHardy · 31/08/2015 09:52

MIL was the first person we told of my pregnancy when I was 8 weeks as OH knew she wouldn't react well and he wanted to get it out of the way (he eventually got kicked out because of it and made it clear she wouldn't be having us living there with the baby, not that we would anyway). I've had 4 miscarriages before, one at 3 months, so I've been continuously nervous that I could lose the baby at any point. She was only concerned about what her family would think and went straight ahead and told everyone without telling me. I only found this out by OH telling my his aunt offered him some baby clothes. She knew full well I wasn't going to tell my family (other than my parents) until 20 weeks incase I lost it. I wasn't congratulated and she wasn't in the slightest bit happy, treating me like a child and doubting that I was going to be a good mother. Saying things like 'how are you going to support it?' (We both work full time) and 'you're not even at home looking after your cat, how can you look after a child?'. I was also very ill and had morning sickness for 3 months straight, I've only just got my appetite back and it's still up and down now. I was throwing up 4/5 times a day and getting 3 hours of sleep a night whilst working full time and it got to the point where I was crying with exhaustion and unable to do anything. She complained about me staying in bed on my day off and made me get up and clean OH's room (his mess, not mine) whilst throwing up. In her words I was 'pregnant not ill'. Just because it took the limelight off her 'fibromyalgia' that she takes plenty of painkillers for and manages her daily life better than I do (she works 5 hours a week), yet OH and her partner still ran around after her like dogs. OH tried to make me a drink and bring it up to me but she stopped him and said he shouldn't be 'waiting on me hand and foot', yet I didn't have the energy to get out of bed. Ridiculous woman.

I cut contact with MIL because of all of this but she's been bawling at OH complaining she'll never see the baby because we don't talk and calling me selfish, even though she didn't even seem the slightest bit interested in my baby or me 2 months ago. Because of this phone call we have to meet up with her sometime in the next week or two to 'sort things out'. What's the best way for me to tell her I don't like how she told everyone behind my back and the things she's said to me without being horrible? My hormones will probably get in the way of me being nice about it because it has just downright p**d me off tbh!

OP posts:
Emileelogan · 31/08/2015 10:40

I can't offer much advice as it's not something I have experience of but the only thing I can suggest is be completly honest with her and lay it all in the table... Maybe if she knows how much she has upset u she will apologise... I hope it goes well for you xx

Cheshirehello79 · 31/08/2015 11:19

I agree with Emilee tell her how it is and make sure you make her aware that you don't need this especially at your most vulnerable stage and you find it even more upsetting that she told people behind your back whilst you told her in anticipation she's going to offer moral support. Don't make it sound that she's now a vilan and that you've cut her out . Make her feel bad about what she's done and hopefully she'll apologise and you can all start a new chapter.

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