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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Lazy Husband

12 replies

SoontobeMommyof2 · 30/08/2015 20:06

Sorry for the rant but I need to let it out!!

My husband is the laziest man ever.. he agreed if we caught pregnant he'd pull his socks up and help me out. Yet here I am 32 weeks pregnant a 6 year old racing round the house and still working full time before I get made redundant. Yet all he has done is nap and play PS4. Now I fully appreciate he works too and does travelling, which involves being away from home at least 2 nights a week. But surely he could rest then and want to help his wife and daughter with things on the days off. I feel like a single Mom and today I broke down in tears to which I was told man up your only pregnant. I've got polyhydramnios and SPD but I am still plodding along as best as I can.

Do I have any hope of him changing when the baby is born? Anyone else got a lazy OH?

OP posts:

LumpySpacedPrincess · 30/08/2015 20:14

He sounds like an asshole, has he always been like this? Didn't it bother you before? Why don't you ask him why he is more important than you, why he's allowed more leisure time. That's the bottom line, he feels superior to you and thinks it's your job to work harder than him.

HermioneWeasley · 30/08/2015 20:16

Is the 6 year old yours?

If so, why did you think another baby would magically change him?

He's a selfish, lazy twat, but you're the one who's putting up with it

Original poster

SoontobeMommyof2 · 30/08/2015 20:47

6 year old is not his.. and he was helpful at the start with her.

Yes I have asked him and all I get is the same responses that he took the promotion for a better life for us. I can understand that but with due date fast approaching I'm in need of some help.

OP posts:

HermioneWeasley · 30/08/2015 20:57

Well, he's not going to change. He's made that perfectly clear. So it's up to you what you do now.

leadcrow · 31/08/2015 00:17

If you're about to be made redundant and are planning on taking a spell out of work when the baby is born he'll have even more of an excuse not to help.
I'd recommend marriage counselling because I get the feeling he's not listening to you and doesn't understand your feelings...marriage counselling will force him to listen and engage

LumpySpacedPrincess · 31/08/2015 08:20

As leadcrow said,he isn't listening to you. So, he expects you to work harder than him and he doesn't value your opinion. You really need to nip this in the bud if the relationship is to survive or you will end up wasting years with someone who doesn't respect you. What is he like the rest of the time, is he a nice man? Does he look after you when you're ill? Is he lovely to your child? does he make you laugh?

Original poster

SoontobeMommyof2 · 31/08/2015 10:13

He isn't a nasty person in anyway space or form. Just lazy and a Mommy's boy.

I shall suggest that we try marriage coucilling as not sure it is worth throwing everything away for the fact he is lazy. If he then can't change we have tried to resolve our differences.

OP posts:

LumpySpacedPrincess · 31/08/2015 10:16

Hopefully when he realises how unhappy you are he will make the effort to change, it will show you how much he values your marriage. It really is a rubbish example for your kids, male and female. Ask him how he will feel in 20 years time when his daughter is working her but off and is married to a lazy ass.

Original poster

SoontobeMommyof2 · 31/08/2015 11:48

Well he has agreed to try coucilling... see how this goes. Not much time and the little man will be here.
Thank you :(

OP posts:

LumpySpacedPrincess · 31/08/2015 11:52

You are addressing the problem head on instead of brushing it under the carpet, well done. Hopefully this will be the wake up call he needs and you can get your relationship on a more equal footing.

u32ng · 01/09/2015 13:37

Oh dear. Sorry you are having to deal with this.

He sounds like the kind of man who needs a strong poke with a big stick to do anything. Do you think he would respond better to direct instruction? E.g. "Can you take DD out for an hour? I need a lie down" or "can you load the dishwasher/wash the breakfast dishes please?" If you space them out between short bouts of laziness then maybe stuff will get done without him noticing too much??

Good luck!

leadcrow · 01/09/2015 19:59

Ah good luck with marriage counselling, I'm glad e agreed to it! I think people think of marriage counselling sometimes as a 'last resort' or something really desperate/abusive couples need but my hubby and I did it just to iron out the creases before we tried for our first baby and it's done wonders for our relationship :). Best of luck to you xx

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