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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Two under Two - Tell me it will be okay...

24 replies

CordeliaScott · 26/08/2015 10:03

We tried for 2 years to conceive DD who is now 11 months old. So imagining that it may take a similar amount of time for DC2 we stopped using contraception 2 months ago although wasn't actively trying. However, yesterday I got a BFP and am now feeling a little overwhelmed (and panicky) that DD will only be 18 months old when this one is born.

DH is a SAHD as I work so really it will have more of an impact upon him but we've both found one child so tiring I can't imagine what two will be like.

I don't think that I thought this through.

Please tell me that it's not going to be as bad as I fear.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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DramaAlpaca · 26/08/2015 10:09

The same happened to me. It took ages to conceive DC1, so thinking it would be the same next time we weren't exactly careful about contraception. I got pregnant first cycle and there is a 16 month gap between DC1 & DC2. I remember that feeling of being completely stunned and overwhelmed thinking about how we'd manage.

We managed just fine. Yes it was very tiring, I can't deny that, but also very rewarding and they have grown up very close. They are 21 & 20 now, and best friends. It can't have been too bad - I had a third DC a couple of years later

Congrats on your pregnancy, you'll be fine

DorotheaHomeAlone · 26/08/2015 10:11

It's going to be great! I'm 5 weeks pregnant and my daughter just turned one. I planned this on purpose as my Mum raves about the 19 month gap between my dsis and I. She insists the first bit was hard but within a year we were friends and could entertain each other so much easier in the long run.

Original poster

CordeliaScott · 26/08/2015 10:19

Thanks. That was what I was hoping Dorothea that they would hopefully be close and keep each other amused. I think I may be feeling a little overwhelmed as it was unexpected to say the least...

OP posts:

SecretSpy · 26/08/2015 10:34

Twenty month gap here, it's fine. First year or two was a slog but now they are best friends. When they aren't bickering.

But they are very close, and definitely entertain each other a lot.

MirandaWest · 26/08/2015 10:38

22 month gap between DS and DD. Was very worried about it but honestly found it was fine. Hadn't had time to forget about the baby stage so was probably on autopilot for that part and also hadn't realised that for me at any rate the change from 0-1 children was massive but then from 1-2 was not really much at all. I think partly because I knew I could do the things I struggled with at first like nappy changing and breastfeeding and going out for the day so I just kept going.

Branleuse · 26/08/2015 11:06

11.5 mth gap here. It was hideous being pregnant while having a young baby and not being able to carry him about etc when he wasnt even walking. I think it was probably 2 years of hell. Now theyre older its a lovely gap though. They are best buddies. Into the same things, and its much easier than my other 6year gap

passmethewineplease · 26/08/2015 11:12

11 month gap here and whilst it can be tiring it's also lovely to see them interact with each other. You'll be fine, you muddle through.

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 26/08/2015 14:33

Similar here, took a while to conceive DS and after his birth I was told might not be able to have more kids. Currently pregnant and going to have a 13 month age gap!
So no experience yet but the pregnancy has been harder whilst looking after DS as he's getting on the move just as I'm getting big and slow

VeryPunny · 26/08/2015 14:35

19 month gap here. Newborn and toddler is a piece of cake compared to older baby and toddler...sorry to be harbringer of doom!

DreamingOfADifferentMe · 26/08/2015 14:36

It's all good. I have 18 months between my second and third, and while it's tiring and can be frustrating, it's also magical to see them together. The close age gaps means they'll always be close and always have an ally, which I think it just wonderful. I've NEVER regretted it (though do often think about wine around 4pm).

TheEagle · 26/08/2015 14:37

You'll be fine - I have 3 under 2, DS1 is 22mo and the DTs are 4mo.

Being pregnant with a toddler was the hardest part for me - the physical relief when the twins were born was immense.

Rest when you can, have your DH do as much as he can with the toddler.

It is hard, we have good days and bad days but I know they are going to be great friends for each other when they are older.

Plus I'm delighted to be getting all the nappy/sleepless night stage over and done with in one go.

Best of luck for the rest of your pregnancy

ISaySteadyOn · 26/08/2015 14:39

It will be all right. I have a 4.6 yo, 2.3 yo and 1.3 yo. There are hard bits, yes, but now they are all three starting to play together sometimes and it is lovely.

You and your DH can do it .

flotillas70 · 26/08/2015 19:46

Oh I'm so glad I found this thread! When this baby is born I'll have two under 22 months and I'm 44 years of age Good luck, OP!

Original poster

CordeliaScott · 26/08/2015 20:16

Thanks for the reassurance and . I think I may well be needing a lot of in a year's time. I am going to focus on the thought that at least I will be able to get all of the nappies and sleepless nights over with in one go. Hopefully.

OP posts:

Smirkingpicnicbasket · 27/08/2015 14:24

'cordelia' I am in exactly the same boat, 12 weeks today and DD is 13 months old! We will have a 19 month age gap! I have fears of never sleeping again and not being able to leave the house!

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 27/08/2015 14:36

Living this now. DD1 is 20 months. DD2 is 7 weeks. I'm not going to lie, it's bloody hard work. I thought I was tired with a newborn first time round, but this is another level. I wasn't blessed with one of those newborns who sleeps all the time, so the chances of them both being asleep at the same time in the day are slim to none. The hardest thing I've found is keeping DD1 amused and happy while breastfeeding DD2. The key is being organised I think, clothes laid out the night before, bag packed etc. I have to get out the house at least once a day or we all go crazy.
I'm sure it will all be worth it though!

Smirkingpicnicbasket · 27/08/2015 14:46

Another one of my concerns is I would like to breast feed exclusively but have a feeling it might just be too difficult with DD1 running around! I remember sitting Breastfeeding for hours the first time round - how do you manage that with a toddler causing havoc?

Needaninsight · 27/08/2015 14:55

19 month gap here. Newborn and toddler is a piece of cake compared to older baby and toddler...sorry to be harbringer of doom!

Haha. This!! 18 month gap here. Newborn bit is easyyy (sleep deprivation aside)

I now have two who can cause chaos. One is 16months, the other not 3 until November. Going to the park on my own is now a no no. Went the other week, older toddler went off to the slide on her own whilst younger toddler went the other way. Other mother's (of 1!) stopped and just watched whilst I screamed like a banshee at older toddler to stop right now before she killed herself coming off the top of the slide headfirst and backwards.

I would be concerned to be fair - my husband is useless with both of them together!!!! (and he's a fab dad!) If you're not the one at home, you won't be doing the majority of the hard work. How does he feel about it!

Smirkingpicnicbasket · 27/08/2015 14:59

Needaninsight Brilliant!!! I think I might go back to work full time when youngest hits the walking stage!!!

GlitzAndGigglesx · 27/08/2015 15:03

12 minute gap here. I struggled adjusting to night feeds again. My 4yo slept through from 8 weeks, but I can't see that happening with my DTs. I actually had my first nap since they were born 6 weeks ago this afternoon and honestly I feel much better. It means sometimes neglecting the housework for an extra day, but my sanity is more important!

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 27/08/2015 15:23

I've managed to EBF but it has been tough.

TheEagle · 27/08/2015 16:26

I EBF the twins but it is tough with a toddler in the mix as well.

He watches more TV than I'd like but it's only for a very short time. Their feeds are much shorter now and they are able to be entertained by something other than the boob now as well

You'll see all these lovely suggestions about having a special basket of toys for the toddler while you breastfeed but tbh my DS1 just wants to run around and/or throw himself into/onto the most dangerous thing in the room. So it's Peppa Pig that keeps him entertained

The minute I've unlatched them, TV goes off and I give my older guy attention. If I'm only feeding one, I can have DS1 up on the couch with us reading books or doing stickers or something.

Smirkingpicnicbasket · 27/08/2015 17:03

TheEagle you are my hero!

TheEagle · 27/08/2015 18:24

I'm no hero smirking, some days I don't know how we survive! But we do

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