heartbroken

[themumfairy]

I've been with my partner for 10 years. we have 2 ds and I'm 17 weeks with a little girl that he was desperate for. I finally gave in and began ttc and we were lucky enough to get pregnant. On Saturday when I was at work he told me it was over.
we were looking after his nan who lives in the same Street as us and he is staying there while I'm at the family home with the children.
I've seen him everyday since and he still says the same even though he can't give me a reason.
he's been on a mega shopping trip spending almost 1500 pounds on clothes for himself. he is now 'single' on Facebook and I can't help but wonder if there is someone else. I can't understand why he would do this after just finding out that we're having the girl he dreamed of. we had been getting on so well and now I'm left heartbroken
feel like I've got no one at all to talk to. I don't really want to tell my mum as if it blows over then I don't want her worrying for nothing

I'm so sorry this is awful. He should really give you an explanation.

Things will get better.

Didn't want to read and run. So sorry that you're going through this.

After 10 years, and children together, you deserve a reason why, and so do your DS's.

Has he ever done this before? To give you a reason to think this will blow over?

If you have a good relationship with your mum, have a chat with her. You can't go through this alone. It's her job to love you and worry about you. I'd want my DD to confide in me when she's older.

This is really hard, but try and concentrate on yourself, your children and your baby.

for you. Sorry life can be shit sometimes x

Sorry to hear that and congrats in your pregnancy .

It sounds a bit strange that he would walk out after 10 years having kids together and leaving you whilst pregnant!

Is there more to this story ?

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

What he has done is really shitty. I'm sorry to say that there is probably plenty more crap to come.

Now is the time to gather your rl support round you. Tell those closest to you what he has done. Let them support and comfort you.

Also, time to put practical head on. In whose name is the house? Mortgage or rental? Do you have access to bank accounts?while he is out of the home, time to start finding and copying all the relevant documents, passports etc.

I know you don't want to hear this. But he's already started spending family money on himself to furnish his new single life. Time to get angry.

Hi, congratulations on your pregnancy!

What he did is the most terrible thing, leaving you after so many years with children and pregnant. I'm so sorry you are going through this. The least he can do is explain what on earth caused this. I'm afraid I'd also be inclined to think of another woman... Has he behaved in unusual way lately? Like hiding his phone etc?

It will get better eventually, but for now take it one day at a time and be gentle on yourself. Concentrate on the little baby inside you, a little miracle.

Wishing you a healthy pregnancy.

he's had patches like this before but they usually are ok by morning.
once he walked for two weeks a few years ago. he had a mole that turned to cancer and I don't think either of us dealt with it very well although family came first for me he couldn't be around us. as I've never had cancer I can't imagine how he felt but it bad enough watching someone you love going through it. he came round and realised what he was doing and we sorted it out. things have been pretty good since hence wanting a baby. We've got 2 so he can't put it down to being scared.

I just feel so low. the kids are going on holiday with my parents next week so I really don't want her worrying when she should be enjoying herself. I'll be alone for the week as booked annual leave so me and him could have a week on our own. I just feel such a fool like I've missed something going on but I've wracked my brains and there's nothing. it was only last week he was saying how happy he's been which makes me feel sick

house is rented in joint names and he's left voluntarily.
he doesn't seemed bothered about anything especially our dog, his family and people he spoke to everyday. it's like something has his focus and he doesn't want to know anything else.
it's all over Facebook about us expecting so what kind of woman would get involved with a man like that. I'm holding out hope that things will work out but he doesn't want to know me at all. I feel like I'm trapped even though baby is very much wanted and then I feel awful for feeling that. I can't think straight

I'm sorry this has happened. From what you say he has met someone else.

I suggest that you try and keep things civil for the sake of the children. Even if he does come back to you I would seriously think about the future of your relationship and the stability this has for you and the kids.

Please don't feel like a fool. This can happen to anyone (and it does, frequently) x

You are worth so much more than this. It's your choice entirely (of course!) but I wouldn't even think about taking him back.

The fact he can drop everything he has had for 10 years, and not explain, is so wrong. Spending family money (£1500 is insane!!). Declaring himself single

Please be as selfish as he is being, and concentrate just on you and your children, but please get some help from someone close, family/friends anyone. Pregnancy is hard enough when everything's rosy, let alone when it's not x

Well looks like something is going on in his life and hope he does share that with you , if cheating ( hope not) ir just decided things between you two ain't working out. The stress of you being pregnant might be a catalyst as well.

I hope you get time the week kids are away to talk things through. You need to tell him that he needs to be more open with you and even if you do sort things out - this can't keep on going on as it's not healthy for you/ him ( if he cares) or the kids.

As finola said if nothing resolved you need to be selfish and think about yourself and the kids and start thinking of life without him. Do raise if he's going to support you guys? Etc..

Good luck and keep us posted. You don't need this sometimes men can be selfish and idiots until they wake up one day and realise how stupid they've been but too late!