Breastfeeding, bottle feeding and expressing. Argh!

[Baffers100]

Hi all,

I need some help on the old breastfeeding front. I always assumed I would try and breastfeed and express my milk so the husband and grandparents can feed and help out a little.

My mum mentioned yesterday she found breastfeeding terribly painful and bottle fed my formula. I was wondering what your thoughts and experiences were?

I am fairly open minded. I want to try breastfeeding but I'm not going to go through agony to do it. I thought it I asked on here I'd avoid the 'breast is best and if you don't do it you're a terrible mother' brigade.

I was also wondering should I buy a breast pump now or wait until after baby is born and decide?

Did anybody only breast feed for a week or so then switch to the bottle?

Hi,

I think the best thing you can do is try. In my experience I wanted to bf but wasn't anti formula if I had to. For some bizarre reason though I decided I didn't want to express so I didn't even bother with a pump and wasn't pushed into it.

It turned out I couldn't bf. I gave up after 2 weeks. Various reasons. I felt guilty and devastated at first but that lasted a couple of days. I had a bit of a traumatic birth and do think that was part of the problem. My milk never came in properly and I was having to top up every feed anyway so transition wasn't a problem. I also liked other people being able to help feeding and the fact that I didn't feel like I was feeding all the time.

Having said that dd was pfb and I was surrounded by family and friends when she was newborn it wasn't like I could just concentrate on the feeding and dh didn't take any paternity leave. So it's all very dependent on your circumstances too.

I'm pregnant again and haven't decided what I'll do this time but it will probably be the same I think. I fully expected to be able to bf so I was a bit disappointed but dd is absolutely thriving on formula. Not feeding dd myself didn't harm the bonding process at all.

Yes I have had a lot of negativity over it but I'm over that now. You don't need to decide now though. Good luck!

For me both times, breastfeeding was really hard for a week or two, and after that, the easiest thing in the world. and the most rewarding. So all I'll say is it sounds like madness to only do it for a couple of weeks and then switch, as you're only doing the hard bit and missing out on the months of the great bit.

I suppose it's different for everyone but for me breast feeding was very easy and I had no issues or pain with it. I think this was because DS had a good latch right from the first feed.

I did buy a pump after the birth but found it difficult to express enough milk for full feed so I gave up with it in the end.

By comparison a friend of mine didn't get on well with feeding from the breast but could express no end of milk with a pump.

Hi,

I found breast feeding really painful for about a week, it was really difficult physically and emotionally particularly having just given birth and dealing with a healing body and lack of sleep too and interminable visits from family but then it slowly got easier and now a couple of months in its the easiest thing in the world, absolutely pain-free and so convenient! So I'd really recommend steeling yourself for a tough time but persevering as much as you can because I found it's really worth it. I know I'd have given in if I had formula in the house so now I'm pleased that I didn't have any in the house.

Expressing is easy enough, I get most in the morning and if the baby is latched onto the other side. It's really nice to be able to let my husband feed when I want a nice long bath or the occasional lie in.

so I had a really positive breastfeeding experience after the first week or so. But can absolutely understand why people switch to formula because it's bloody hard and painful in the beginning. Out of my antenatal group 7 out of 8 of us had the same experience and all supported each other to persevere through it. The 8th lady couldn't breast feed and was initially upset but her baby is happy, healthy and thriving on formula

If you want to give bfing a go I wouldn't buy breastpump just yet. Shops will still be open when your baby is born, so you can decide if you need it later.

FWIW as much as they tell you how natural bfing is, and it's what your body is supposed to do, and how it doesn't hurt if you do it properly, a lot of women do find it hard and painful at the beginning, and it's bloody hard work. It was horribly painful for me and I think this was part of the reason I didn't enjoy the early newborn stage that much. But I was very determined I wanted to bf, and I persevered and ended up feeding for 16 months. I'm glad I did as once it gets easier it's lovely. However, having gone through horrible pain in the beginning I can see why so many mums stop and I really don't judge them.

Personally, I found expressing too much of a faff. I could never get much out with a pump, and ended up being engorged for a week. So this time I don't think I'll bother with expressing unless I really need to leave the baby for a few hours. Yes, it does mean you have to do all the feeds, but it's not forever. Time flies when they are baby.

Good luck with whichever decision you make

It can be painful to begin with, and it can be uncomfortable for a while too. But most people find that it settles down soon and then becomes very straightforward. Pain can be caused by a poor latch, tongue tie, thrush etc all of which can usually be resolved, often easily. Ongoing pain shouldn't be ignored and you can cause damage to your nipples which exacerbates the issue as well.

Obviously you will be doing all the feeding yourself if you are breastfeeding, but you can introduce expressed milk or formula in a bottle if that's something you want to do. Or you can get your willing helpers to help out with other aspects of babycare like changing nappies, bathing, or just the housework.

If you are sure you'd like to express you could buy a pump now, there are places you can hire them from as well - I think the NCT do this.

I had a fairly rocky start to breastfeeding (baby in SCBU etc) but once we got established and fixed the issues, it was very straightforward.

Most women seem to struggle to express until your supply is established (4-6 weeks ish?) if you want to BF I would probably not try that straight away. It can affect your supply and may make think you don't have enough milk.

BF was a little painful for the first couple of days but after the initial difficult time is so much easier than bottle feeding.
The only thing is you're likely to find initially baby needs to be at the breast very frequently- could be every hour (and was for me)

I love it btw, so does my baby. But you have to be committed and if you're thinking of bottle feeding from day 1 you might just end up switching to bottle, so many women seem to (not that there is anything wrong with it)

Breastfeeding was incredibly tough for me til 10 weeks, then it was so easy and convenient. I would really recommend you try.
Don't buy a pump or anything yet though, not til you know what is going to suit you and your baby. Good ones are expensive and cheap ones, IME, are nigh-on pointless...

It's such a personal thing, and a personal experience for everyone.

I BFed my DS1 until he was 13 mo - we had a rough start but breastfeeding felt like the one thing I was in control of and it helped me heal after a difficult birth.

I'm now BFing my 18 week old twins which is the most challenging thing I've ever done but it's very rewarding.

I always hated expressing and did it as little as I could. Initially I thought "oh I'll express so that DH can give a bottle and I'll sleep" but it didn't work like that. I could never express very much and sure the little monkey didn't really want the bottle just the cuddles! Instead, DH used to do everything but feed him. He'd bathe him, cuddle him after feeds, change his nappy in the night, take him for walks etc. DS1 is 22 months now and he has the most beautiful bond with his Daddy.

Have a read of a few books - The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and The Food of Love are good ones - and maybe go to a LLL meeting before baby is born.

Keep an open mind. Someone on another forum said that breastfeeding is a marathon not a sprint and I thought that was a good thing to remember, especially in those heady newborn days when everything is a blur.

Good luck! Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy

I love breastfeeding. I was determined to give it a proper go as I had read plenty of women's stories of how after the first few weeks it clicked and was really easy.

I found it hard with both my dc to begin with because even 'though I knew what to do with my second, he didn't You both have to learn and some babies learn quicker than others.

With my first, the first few weeks were difficult as I had an oversupply problem which gave several issues including difficultly to latch and mastitis because my breasts weren't being emptied. I found the Kellymom website to be very helpful. But then around 7 weeks I realised I couldn't remember the last time we'd had a bad day. Since that day it has been so easy.

Re expressing, I would caution over expressing so other's can feed him - you still need to empty your breasts somehow so it isn't the timesaver you might think, plus baby may not like bottles. I did express with ds1 as I went back to work when he was 4mo, so while he was having bottles of EBM at nursery, I was expressing at work. He had no problem swapping between bottle and breast. DS2 was a different matter however, and he refused to take a bottle, and would starve himself rather than take a bottle/cup or anything but the breast (I know this as I had 10 hours away from him when he was 5mo and he only took 2oz in all that time - we tried all different types of bottles, cups etc to no avail). Thankfully I had a whole year off with him so it was less of an issue. Instead I expressed for our local milkbank (for premmies).

Good luck and all the best for the rest of your pregnancy

I breastfed my DD for 19 months. I, like others, fell in love with it - I really feel it is the ultimate bonding thing. To be fair It can be uncomfortable maybe but it certainly wasn't painful for me (I was lucky enough to never get mastitis) in the first few weeks as It is an entirely new thing that your body (and you) are doing. I tried expressing a number of times for my DD but she never... ever took a bottle. As soon as she was old enough to have a sippy cup that was it...So I used my pump to keep up supply. (hv recently said that this isn't advised but I'm going to be going this for this time, currently 34 weeks) I think that as long as you are calm and relaxed when you try to breastfeed it should go well and good for you for being willing to try x

I found breastfeeding quite difficult for first 3 weeks. My DS couldn't latch very well despite lots of help from MW, HV and peer supporters. In that time I expressed a lot (using Tommee Tippee electric pump) and managed to build up supply through expressing and feeding. Anyway, fastforward to now when DS is 4mo and the feeding is super easy and lovely. Only thing I find now is that the pump is much less efficient than DS so find expressing a bit of a chore.
We went to a "breastfeeding awareness" class as a one off at the hospital and found it very helpful just to know what to expect with bf. Not sure if you are able to go to something similar?
I say buy a pump but leave it in packaging so you can return it if you don't use it. (Don't do what I did and decide you need a pump when baby is 3 days old and send DM out to panic buy one!)

I would definitely give breastfeeding your best shot, but it can be difficult. Out of the 8 mums on my NCT course (our babies are all about 7 weeks) only 2 are exclusively breastfeeding and we all tried to do it.

I tried to breastfeed but had issues with my supply. DD lost too much weight and ended up on a drip in hospital as she was dehydrated. Another one of the mums ended up in hospital due to weight loss caused by supply issues too. It's more common than you may think. The midwife doesn't weigh the baby until day 5 when these issues are usually picked up. In the meantime it is very important that you keep an eye on wet and dirty nappies and if they aren't as expected (I think you can look it up on the NCT website) make sure you get your baby checked out.

I had a traumatic birth which I believe can often cause supply issues. If you have a natural birth you may find it easier.

I felt guilty about not being able to breastfeed for a long time, but I've got over it now. At the end of the day - in my case - breastfeeding actually made my baby ill as I didn't have enough milk. She is thriving on formula.

I do express and get enough to give DD one bottle of breastmilk a day. It's not a lot but at least she's getting some of the antibodies etc. The medela swing breast pump is good and the same brand as they use in the hospital, although I'd wait and see how you get on before buying one.

Hi I breast fed for the first 10days, and then slowly switched to formula. I found it so painful, I was shown how to breast feed after birth and before I came home 17hours later. But once home I was struggling and was a little scared of asking for help so was probably doing it all wrong! I felt really disappointed with myself. But this time round I'm feeling more confident and will be buying an electric expresser and nipple shields and asking for plenty of help

I breastfed DD1 for about 19 months, then she lost interest and I got pregnant again anyway, so it was a bit uncomfortable with sore boobs. The first six weeks were tough, I think they are intense anyway, but DD had undiagnosed tongue tie so it was a bit grim. All the HCPs I saw told me it was normal for breast feeding to hurt, so I didn't push it any further for a while, then I saw a brilliant breastfeeding consultant/ La Leche League leader and she explained that a bit of soreness is normal until your nipples get used to being used in that way, but real pain is not. She diagnosed the tongue tie and it was easy street from there really. I was sad when it ended.

I bought a breast pump but never really used it. I found pumping difficult, hand expressing is much easier and more productive, because it's more like the natural movement of the baby's tongue. I think lots of pumping is probably not very good for your nipples. Also, though, the expressing thing just never worked out like I thought it would. I thought it would be great for grandma/ dad to give baby a bottle, but actually, it was all more hassle than it was worth because it was so much easier to breastfeed. DH could still help out at night by settling DD after her feed if she needed it. Also, I didn't have any burning desire to leave DD alone until she was old enough to go a couple of hours between feeds, so I just fed her before I went out and when I got back. If I'd really wanted to go out for a whole day, I probably would have left a bit of formula - it's not poison after all, it's just not what I chose to feed her day in, day out.

You have had lots of replies but I though I would add my story as it's different to the replies you have had.

I assumed that I would BF, thought it would all come naturally and bought nothing to FF as I could worry about that after then baby was born (only intended to do 6mths)

Baby was born, normal birth no drugs, Baby put to breast... And nothing he flat out refused to latch. I went through 3 shift changes of MSW and none of them could get him to latch on to me.
I was committed so I hand expressed colostrum for 24 hrs with my poor H having to hoover it up in a syringe. Then I starting expressing with a pump as was getting enough that it wasn't all lost in the pump. We went home with me expressing and I was very lucky that a friend of mine dropped a pump to my mum at short notice. The hospital kindly gave me tiny bottles/disposable teats/ steriliser bag/ pump paraphernalia so I could get home.
After a few days of trying every feed and with the help of nipple shields I finally got him to latch and it hurt like hell. I cried the whole way through every feed. I lasted a couple of days and then just expressed milk for him 8x a day (when he was drinking the last one I expressed more)
I expressed for 4-5 weeks until I couldn't find the time to do 8 expressions and I was simply too tired to get up every 3 hrs over night to feed and then express. We switched to FF. I felt incredibly guilty for months that I didn't BF him. But guess what... He's fine and happy and will never care that I didn't BF him!
My one piece of advice is to find a local BF support person and make contact before the baby is born and agree that they will come to the house to help if you are struggling. I didn't know this even existed when I had my baby - I only discovered MN when googling frantically at 2am 'why isn't my baby sleeping' and 'Why does BF hurt so much' and think that if I had done that I a) may have got our issues sorted or b) wouldn't have felt guilty for so long about not BF.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and enjoy your lovely baby no matter how you choose to feed him/her!! (Sorry that's so long!)

If you need to express, I.e illness, inability to suckle, baby in nicu, mum baby separated etc, by all means do. Feeding expressed milk with a syringe or other non nipple means is best.

Babies are learning the breast. It's a learning curve for them. Introducing dummies and artificial nipples early on may not be the best. All breastfeeding advice notes that feeding is truly mum's job. Dads can do all else. But your breast, your body, your nipple is yours.

Of course, if you plan to bottle feed or the best professional support cannot help establish breastfeeding then this shove is a moot point.

This above*