7+1 prevous MC, desperate to get through this week - positive vibes please for a sticky bean!

[Sezramum]

Last November I had a MC at 7 and a half weeks. I have three children already and I have been very fortunate to have not experienced a MC before.

Even though it was early on, I was surprised at how much it devastated me. This would have been a baby with my new partner, and not only was it obviously incredibly sad, but I also felt like I had let him down.

Anyway, I am now pregnant again (aged 43) and have reached the same stage as last time (7+1). I feel like getting through this week is going to be a hurdle for me and I just cant stop thinking about it. I appreciate that things can go wrong after 8 weeks but in my head I need to get through this week!

Every time I get cramping I start to worry, even though it is mild and I keep telling myself it is normal. If I hadn't had a MC I wouldn't be worrying about these at all but now everything has an alternative meaning!

This morning I did another digital pregnancy test to see if it had moved on from 2-3 weeks to 3+ weeks. It still said 2-3 weeks though. I know I am making it worse for myself but I wanted reassurance that things were moving on as they should. I wish I hadn't bothered!

I have an early scan booked privately for two weeks time but even that can't come soon enough. I wish there was some way of getting reassurance earlier but I don't think it is worth doing anything before the 8 weeks as I really want to see the heart beat.

Any words of wisdom to get me through this week?

I should also add that this will be our last attempt. Although we want a baby together we have decided that we cannot go on trying indefinitely (mainly because of my age) and have to decide when to focus on an alternative life minus a baby.

Hi, just noticed we posted a similar message around the same time, only you are 2 weeks ahead of me....

Oh yes! Just found your thread Miffy.

It is such a worry, I am having trouble concentrating on anything at the moment!

Sometimes I think these tests actually make things worse. My first digital test showed up as 2-3 weeks and I was literally 14 days OD. I guess I expected the next test to have moved on by now because of that.

When I had my first child who is now nearly 17 there were no digital tests so you just had to get on with it and hope for the best.

I've commented on the other post but please stop testing. You are only going to drive yourself crazy.

The tests will only work to a certain point in that once your hormone levels are too high, it doesn't recognise it.

I know none of this is helpful but the best thing to do is join one of the pregnancy after mc boards - they are great support and been fab to me

Thanks Brummie

I know you are right. I have been a bit upset by the test I did this morning as I realised that 2-3 weeks means I would only be about 5 weeks pregnant and I believe I should be about 7. I was thinking that maybe everything had stopped.

I then remembered that I had 3 negative tests, with the first positive one being when I was two weeks late (one week ago yesterday). I guess this means I may have ovulated later in my cycle and therefore am not as far on as I thought.

I have a scan booked for two weeks time. I am hoping to make it through to that and then maybe I will feel a bit more reassured.

Thanks again

I agree with brummie - stop testing. That way madness lies.

Take one day at a time - today, you are pregnant used to be my mantra for getting through the first trimester of this pregnancy, after 4 mcs. It is brutal, constantly walking on egg shells, and every little twinge sets off the anxiety.

Come and join us on the pregnancy after mc thread, lots of support and advice on there!

Thanks cloud I have joined the thread

I like your mantra, will have to try it out!

Hi!!! Just wanted to drop in and say I felt very much the same in the weeks where I lost two pregnancies. Now I'm at 14 weeks and no longer have the baby loss worries. It gets better!

Just dropped in to give some emotional hand-holding. Fx for a very sticky bean

Thank you WombOfOnesOwn. It is good to know that you have reached 14 weeks and the worrying has stopped. You must be so relieved!

Thank you for the hand holding Blackandwhitecat, it is much appreciated .

You do actually feel quite alone especially if you haven't told anyone. I have told my sister and one friend but still feel like it is something I am having to deal with by myself. My DP is lovely and knows that I just feel like I am waiting for the inevitable, but I would like to not feel like that for both of us.

Someone posted on another thread that it is strange that we don't tell people when actually we need their support whilst we go through this worrying time, and also if it goes wrong. I have decided that once I have had my scan on the 8th Sept, I am going to tell all of my family. Its only another couple of weeks .

Oh good! Yes, do tell the people close enough to you that you'd want to tell them about a miscarriage. That was my pre-12 week dividing line--anyone I'd want to be able to say "I'm having an awful time, I just miscarried" to, I told I was pregnant, so they wouldn't feel whiplash ("I didn't even know you were pregnant!") if I did miscarry.