Pregnant again & HATE my midwife!!

[charlh929]

Hi all!

I have a LO who is 14 weeks and I am pregnant again. I went to the doctors yesterday to confirm it and now I'm panicking. I was told to give in a form so that they could pass my details onto the midwife and sort out my booking appt. I have no idea how far along I am as I haven't had a period since LO was born. The only problem is that the midwife at my doctors is absolutely VILE. I couldn't stand her during my first pregnancy, I don't think I could endure another 9 months of her. She was disinterested throughout my last pregnancy, and up until my 40 week appt was asking the same questions over and over (.e.g. sex of the baby, whether I have a partner, where I live, what I do etc). Every time I had an appt I dreaded it and just felt awkward and nervous, she barely spoke to me, made me feel uncomfortable and on edge and never asked if I had any concerns/questions. On the rare occasion I did ask the odd question (LO was my first pregnancy so I was worried) she would sigh as though I was inconveniencing her and instead of giving me the advice/support I needed, she would just hand me a leaflet or tell me to ring the 24 hour number if I had any concerns. There were numerous times when I looked through my pregnancy notes and she had ticked several boxes of topics that she should have discussed with me, which she hadn't. Needless to say, I really don't want to see her during this pregnancy, but other than change surgeries, I don't see another option. I can just imagine her face when walk in 3 months after just having had a baby. Any advice?

Well firstly congratulations! To be honest I think you answered your own query, unless you change practices you will probably have to face her again, but write her off as a narky cow and just go to the appointments, it doesn't really matter what she thinks, because you're having another lovely little baby, you just remember that

I expect it depends on your area but where I am we are able to attend our midwife appointments with the hospital's ante-natal team rather than our GP's midwife. I was looking into asking about doing this officially but found that if I leave booking my appointments at the GP a bit late or make a fuss about the time, she is usually fully booked and I get sent to the hospital anyway.

Congrats x could you not call the community midwives office to organise someone to come up to you (or see a midwife at hospital - although this is far far less likely)?? You don't necessarily have to say that you don't like this midwifemidwife but you could go over your concerns with them xx

Congratulations I've opted for completely midwife lead care at my hospital is this not an option at your maternity unit?

You can ask for another midwife but you are likely to have to go to another location or to the hospital as they won't send a different midwife to your GPs practice just for you.

Explain to your GPs practice and ask for the details for her boss, who should be able to help you move.

I had all my MW appointments at my hospital and managed to avoid the ones at my GPs. Second time round I found them much less bothered about seeing me.

congratulations! changing gp practice might not work anyway, i live rurally and the mw works part time in several practices

Congratulations! Speak to supervisor of midwives with your concerns and ask to change - they are usually really good.
Also depending on where you are you may be able to get a one to one midwife (they are like independent but on NHS), give them a Google.x

I see mine at the hospital midwife led unit. Saw her by chance having been let down by the one attached to my drs surgery a couple of times. I looked her and arranged to keep seeing her. If you call the actual midwives office (number should be on your notes from last time) ask to see how you can swap!

as above, you should be fine to see someone else provided you are prepared to travel either to the midwife unit or hospital to do so.

I changed consultants with my previous pregnancy as I couldn't stand the one I'd been allocated - head MW was absolutely fine and organised it all with no issues, I just had to travel to the hospital rather than the MW unit for appointments.

Yep I too had a particular midwife who I didn't want to see so the team made appointments with me direct.

I had a 14 month gap between DC2 & 3 and it has been fantastic. congratulations!

Midwives work for their local trust, not the gp's. They only hire rooms at gp's surgeries for ease of being local to different areas. Therefore you can stay registered at your gps and still see any midwife you choose.. Either phone another GP surgery in your area and ask to speak to the midwife there and explain your situation, or as someone else said speak to a supervisor of midwives at you local trust hospital. Enjoy your pregnancy. ????