Relationship chat pre baby

[batfish]

So I was thinking that it would be good for me and hubby to have a good chat before the baby comes to try to prevent (as much as possible) exhausted arguments! We don't generally argue but it's a massive life change ahead so who knows how we will deal with it.

Any ideas around what would be good things to discuss? I was thinking things like our expectations of each other both towards the baby and towards each other, who will do what around the house, night times, making sure we each get rest where we can and how we do that.......anyone who has had children already have any input? Or anyone on first baby had similar chats?

By the way I should add that I am well aware that any 'plans' we make prior to the baby arriving could go straight out of the window when the time comes but I suppose the purpose is just so that we find out now rather than when we are going crazy with sleep deprivation if we don't agree on some important stuff!

Watching with interest

Finances are a big one. How you will manage on less £££ if on maternity leave.

Housework. Who is doing what? Bearing in mind your laundry quota is going to explode.

Feeding. If you are bottle feeding is he going to help? Ditto nappy changes and bathing. Some men literally don't lift a finger with babies...

Batfish I think you should add in there - the first month he should be so kind and just look after you and the baby and you don't lift a finger ( wishful thinking)

It's a bit of suck it and see though. All babies are different and you just don't know how you will cope until they are here.

You may be lucky and get a no-fuss good sleeper. A lot of how hands on a DH can be is based around how you are feeding too. If you are solely EBF he is not likely to be able to do much at nights unless he fancies making you a cuppa. Babies at that young age tend to be comforted by the boob so he can be a bit useless at times.

A good start would be to agree when he has the baby by himself so you can shower though.

Yes no social activities for him in the first few weeks. In early killed my DH when he went out for drinks leaving me with a 2 week old and a 2 yr old. Still riles me today 3 yrs later!