High bmi - crying after booking in. :(

[sjd114]

Hi.

Just had my booking in appointment with my midwife (who is lovely) but I've come home feeling VERY deflated/emotional.

I know I'm overweight. But I didn't realise how much emphasis is put on it. . How differently you are treated to a normal bmi person.. extra scans. Extra blood pressure checks. HAVE to have hospital births. Ref feral to consultants, refer to anethiest .. have to take aspirin daily. I just feel so disgusted & sick to my stomach that I even thought I'd enjoy the appointments, when I have HIGH BMI written all over my notes.

I feel so sick, I feel as though I shouldn't of even had this chance to get pregnant.

Sorry. Rant over.
Any advice is welcomed (but please refrain from telling me I'm a bad person/unhealthy, because trust me. I know! & I'm beating myself up about it constantly)

And I have to use theLARGE CUFFfor BP. Although it was too big for my arm & kept falling down

Deep breath you aren't the only one and please don't panic there is lots of support out there if you want to get down to a healthier weight/ not put on any more weight/minimise pregnancy weight gain. WW and SW both help and SW are now affiliated/approved by the Royal College of Midwives. Your treatment was unpleasant and insensitive but was based on a concern for your health not on malice sending you a big hug

Don't feel bad! People come in all shapes and sizes.

High BMI is related to a higher chance of complications in pregnancy. But these chances are usually low, a high BMI can make them less low. Not guaranteed. The system needs to be aware of this to monitor you and keep you and your baby safe. It's a statistics game, it's not you personally.

Being larger doesn't mean you're any less entitled to have children (or anything else in life). Or that you'll be anything less of a parent.

Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes. Your body is growing a tiny person! It is amazing!

Oh, and congratulations, BTW. Are you due in March? Come and join us on the March 2016 antenatal thread.

Indomitable I just feel very rubbish about myself. . But when so much emphasis is put onto it, it's hard to just feel 'ok' with it. :(

Ooh, I'll join that one! Thank you for the kind words. X

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP.

Try not to beat yourself up about this and remember that it is just a factual issue that triggers a requirement for extra care, and not a judgement on you as a person. If you were diabetic, had high BP, etc, you would also fall into a category requiring extra care during pregnancy.

I am very very overweight and was during both pregnancies. I was treated wonderfully well by all HCPs who treated my high BMI as simply a factual issue, and so that helped me see it factually rather than emotionally, iyswim. I was very healthy and well during both pregnancies and recovered well and easily from both births (EMCS and ELCS, unrelated to high BMI).

We're here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2445768-March-2016-Babies-Our-Grape-sized-babies-are-getting-Bigger

Just to say you do not HAVE to give birth in hosp and you do not HAVE to see a co sultant. You can just decline consultant care and give birth at home if you want to

I'm 27 weeks and before my first midwife appointment was scared of been told off. However I've been treated well by all,I've seen. I am part under consultant care but that's also because I had fertility treatment and have a heart murmur. I'm on aspirin and figure even the skinniest of people can get pre eclampsia so taking it just gives more protection against pre eclampsia. I also need to use large arm cuff, it's actually written in my notes as if BP is taken with small cuff I get high readings which stress me out. I'm having GTt next week and no some CCGs do them as standard. And I'm grateful for the extra scans as get to see baby more.

I thought that because of my chubbiness I wouldn't get to see the baby move but I do see all sorts of movements. Am sure you'll forget all about the appts once baby starts moving.

I'm trying to eat healthy and drink plenty of water.

Don't cry, and don't beat yourself up about it!
Yes, a high BMI has increased risk, but so do all sorts of things. And increased risk doesn't mean that things will go wrong, does it?

I was so "normal" at booking that the midwife even commented upon the fact that she didn't have to tick any additional boxes, yet I ended up with every complication and intervention going, when it came to it.

Meanwhile, my very overweight friend has had three simple, almost pain-free, and quick home births. You never can tell.

Please try to relax and enjoy this special time without your weight being a cause of huge anxiety. But if you do choose to watch your weight at this point, there's lots of advice out there on how to do it safely during pregnancy.

Oh - and congratulations!

Eh, I'm not so sure how much emphasis you personally want to put on it. I've checked my BMI on the NHS website - I'm right in the middle range of normal weight. My midwife said my BMI based on my height/weight/age was "low" Er, no it's not. It's normal.

It's like they make it up as they go.

And congrats, OP!