High BMI - Crying after booking in.

[sjd114]

Hi.

Just had my booking in appointment with my midwife (who is lovely) but I've come home feeling VERY deflated/emotional.

I know I'm overweight. But I didn't realise how much emphasis is put on it. . How differently you are treated to a normal bmi person.. extra scans. Extra blood pressure checks. HAVE to have hospital births. Ref feral to consultants, refer to anethiest .. have to take aspirin daily. I just feel so disgusted & sick to my stomach that I even thought I'd enjoy the appointments, when I have HIGH BMI written all over my notes.

I feel so sick, I feel as though I shouldn't of even had this chance to get pregnant.

Sorry. Rant over.
Any advice is welcomed (but please refrain from telling me I'm a bad person/unhealthy, because trust me. I know! & I'm beating myself up about it constantly) :(

I'm currently coming towards the end of my 2nd pregnancy. With no.1 BMI was about 38, this time it was 40 at booking in. I think from the sounds of it the way BMI is handled varies depending on area and whether or not it's your first pregnancy. With no.1 (living in a different area to now) it did feel like the midwife's were making a big deal out of it and I had to have all the extra tests and scans. As it turned out I had a completely normal pregnancy and although my labour was long DD and I were both perfectly healthy afterwards. To a certain extent it's a good idea to try and grow a thick skin about it (providing they're not being downright rude of course!) and remain positive. The worst thing I found was that it seemed like the midwifes thought I was stupid and oblivious to the fact that I was overweight, so I overcompensated a little bit by bringing it up in appointments before they could! Also, try not to worry if they tell you they think you're going to have a big baby. All the way through with no.1 I was told I would have an enormous baby because I was obese. She was born 4 days overdue at 6lbs 130z!

This time around things have been much more relaxed. I can't say for sure if this is because I "proved myself" before or because I'm living in a different area, or if it's a combination of the two. Obviously it was mentioned at booking in and they stressed that I don't need to put on much weight in pregnancy. I am under MW led care, I haven't had to have any extra scans and they aren't referring me to the anesthetist either. The only thing I think may be a problem still (but need to check the local rules) is the water birth issue.

The referral to the anaesthetist is important - it's so they can gauge how they would intubate / put various lines in/ spinal, epidural etc. they need to check your throat/arms/back as a larger patient can be more difficult to get things placed correctly. There should be no personal judgement with this - it's practical and operational.

The bigger cuff is important too - you can get erroneous readings on a wrong sized cuff.

As with many things, a larger patient is not automatically destined for problems. The population as whole has a higher risk but the individual varies. You've a higher chance of gestational diabetes for example, but you're not guaranteed it.

My BMI was about 32 at booking in. I mentioned it to the mw who after checking my (very low) bp decided she was unconcerned. I got weighed once to calibrate bloods and they don't do it again where I am. My sugars are low and my bp is fine.

Healthcare providers do have a duty to explore healthy eating/tell you risks, just like they would tell you about smoking cessation if you were a smoker. However, they should be able to do this with tact and your dignity intact.