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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Birth plan - what to write??

93 replies

Cornberry · 30/07/2015 21:38

I'm 36 weeks and I know I need to write my birth plan but I'm not really sure what to put down. Seems odd to write a p,an for something that's bound to be unpredictable. I sort of want to write no drugs unless I feel they're necessary and that's it. What else can you put? I'm drawing a blank. Advice welcome!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WhyStannisWhy · 31/07/2015 22:34

Mehabitel it mattered to us because we were both struggling to bond with the baby, especially as we were both young, unprepared and couldn't bring ourselves to think of it as a human rather than just a 'thing'. By the time DD arrived, I'd had the kicks etc to help me bond. Giving OH that moment of being the first to know what she was really helped him to bond, and gave him something to focus on while he was watching me push for all nine minutes, more fool me

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 31/07/2015 22:35

And yes, it mattered to me that DH was the one who told me if we had a son or a daughter. It was a nice moment each time when he told me.

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 31/07/2015 22:40

Sorry, but finally

e.g. DH had never seen a birth so absolutely clueless as to any relevant information

Yes, but the example I gave was bad with the sight of blood. Which lots of people know anyway. There may be nothing to say, but lots of people are aware of things about their partner that may affect things.

Mehitabel6 · 31/07/2015 22:55

If you do know some of it, or it matters, then fair enough.
I didn't know any of your list and it didn't matter to me who said what the sex was - or what happened with the cord.
It was in reply to OP who obviously hasn't a clue or she wouldn't need to ask. If you don't know what to put on it then you don't need one!
It was more important to me to get a good relationship with the staff and not to have them reading bits of paper that I might totally change my mind about on the day.
I am a person who likes to go with the flow- if you don't like that then have your plan

Just bear in mind that you may not be in control and don't take it to heart. If it turns out to differ from your plan you have not 'failed'.

Mehitabel6 · 31/07/2015 22:59

My remarks were for the OP who 'knows she needs to write a birth plan' - you don't need to write one at all. It isn't obligatory.

TiredOfPeople · 01/08/2015 09:32

I put down "Go in, take drugs if necessary, get baby out safely whatever way possible". That was it.

ThursdayLast · 01/08/2015 09:37

Last time I wrote all the vit k, placenta jab, skin to skin, BF stuff. I was fairly easy going as to the whys and wherefores, thank god, because it all went tits up.

This time it will be. I have no intention of labouring. Book me in behind there's any small chance of it happening

ValancyJane · 01/08/2015 09:59

I'm 15 weeks and have no intention of really writing one, because I know birth is so unpredictable and I don't know anyone who's had the birth they wanted! I want the baby out of me safely, with minimal damage/risk to u both. I plan on telling the midwives verbally that OH would like to cut the cord, that I'm nervous about needles, and would prefer a CS over forceps use if it looks like they will be necessary. But ultimately I just want a baby safely here! Also, as it's a first labour I have no idea how my pain tolerance will be or anything like that, so I'd rather just read up on my options and make decisions that work for me at the time.

I know one friend who was is still struggling with how much her birth deviated from her nice planned home birth nearly three years on. I'd rather not set my heart on anything and just educate myself about all possible options/outcomes and trust the midwives experience.

cdwales · 01/08/2015 14:06

As my husband is a farmer used to lambing and foaling and my Mum a HV I left it to them: my 'team'. Sadly I landed the worst MW for my first but usually they are best left to do their job. VEs are sort of standard for checking progress so bit surprised about that comment from topsy. Baby's safety was my No1 priority but I did not want to risk an epidural as s'one jabbing a needle into my spinal chord at some weird hour simply did not pass my risk assessment...
When the MW - by now in the big hospital having been transferred by ambulance at midnight - asked DH if he wanted to cut the chord he was somewhat surprised and declined! We really could not see the point as that is the MW's job and he was relating to me and the baby.

BUT if DH does not have that confidence/experience he may become an irritant - as so many point out you never can predict quite how it will go so having a think, reading up on others' experience and having your 'team' seems the best bet...

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 01/08/2015 14:23

VE as a routine way of checking progress are very much over valued in our current hospital model of birth. If you don't mind them that's fine, but there are very valid reasons for refusing them in non emergency scenarios. Don't want to sidetrack the thread though

VitaminCrumpet · 01/08/2015 14:27

If I had to write one.

No VE
No students doctors or MW - you're not practising on me
No male MW or doctors
Do not touch me unless you have my consent
Do not talk to me - I cannot stand inane chatter when I'm in pain
Soft lights
Leave me alone to get on with it
No forceps - section if necessary
DH to cut the cord and tell me the sex
Don't force me to breastfeed straightaway
No manual extraction of the placenta unless you give me a GA first

Stylingwax · 01/08/2015 14:47

My first was:
Get baby out

My second will be:
No stirrups
No students
DP to tell me sex
DP or me to dress baby

After first delivery with two hours on stirrups and a 16 year old work experience girl staring at me.
Emergency forceps in theatre and a baby given to me dressed.
Wankers.

batfish · 01/08/2015 14:53

I am only 31 weeks and haven't done antenatal classes yet so have little clue but I'm fairly sure my birth plan will be: Get baby out and keep us both alive and healthy and yes please I'll take the drugs

I would ideally like to have a vaginal delivery but I've seen too many friends disappointed and traumatised by their birth experiences because they had such a specific plan so I'm worried about having a plan and would rather just go with the flow.

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 01/08/2015 15:19

A slight aside, but someone has mentioned wanting a section over forceps.

That is precisely the sort of information it can be useful to have written down. When you arrive at hospital in labour, it's not exactly top of your list of things to discuss (and you may already be too in the zone for much of a chat). But the window of time where it is valuable to know that information can often be earlier than the window where they discuss forceps with you. By the time they start saying "we think we might need to consider forceps" it can be more difficult to honour that wish than if they'd read it on a birth preference sheet when you pitched up. Rarely impossible, but more difficult.

Ditto if delayed clamping is something you might want. I couldn't have had a discussion on it whilst pushing (I couldn't say a single word. I was just somewhere else). If they hadn't known in advance, routine clamping would have been immediate.

I whole heartedly agree that you can't plan labour. But there are some preferences which, if you have them, are far more likely to be followed if they are mentioned in advance of the event.

Mehitabel6 · 01/08/2015 15:45

The 'no students' seems a bit mean- however are they going to learn?
Personally I would rather have a midwife who had masses of practise as a student, rather than being let loose on me with minimum experience once qualified.

Mehitabel6 · 01/08/2015 15:46

I must limit the spontaneity if they have to read instructions about who says what.

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 01/08/2015 16:00

What do you mean? They sit quietly and have a read whilst doing general paperwork etc.

PunkrockerGirl · 01/08/2015 16:15

Your delivery may be the midwife's first unsupervised one as a qualified practitioner. Surely you'd rather she'd had loads of practice as a student, Vitamin ?

Student midwives have to get in so many deliveries before they can qualify. So if all women had your attitude, the profession would die out!

WhyStannisWhy · 01/08/2015 17:14

The students at DD'S birth studied at the same uni as me, I saw them around campus a fair bit. It was nice to have people only a year or two older than me in there and put me at ease a bit, plus they were very professional, lovely and chatty and we ended up singing Hakuna Metata together mid-contractions I was very clear that I wanted chatting and encouragement etc, none of this silent birthing for me ta

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 01/08/2015 17:15

I really liked having students there. I found it meant the midwife and anaesthetist (both had a student with them) explained things fully as they were explaining to the student. I prefer that to midwives just doing stuff and not really explaining.
It is personal preference though

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 01/08/2015 17:21

My position on students was : Yes to any student mw's or doctors shadowing a senior staff member. No to large groups on ward rounds. No to anyone who wants to come in for the last 10 minutes to 'see a delivery' or 'see a forceps' or whatever.

VitaminCrumpet · 01/08/2015 17:25

I understand that student MW need to have 40 "catches" before they qualify. I understand that they need to practise. During my first birth, I said yes to students. Big mistake. Every time the MW did a VE, so did the student MW. I was in too much agony to stop them. I was raw by the time DS was born. At the moment of crowning, the MW opened the door to a host of student doctors that just stood there and gawped at me. Imagine, I'm naked, legs in stirrups and my DH shouting at them all to get out.

TiedUpWithString · 02/08/2015 08:47

If I had to write another it would say this:

Always tell me the truth and don't hide info from me.
I don't want induction drugs; if it's likely they're needed, go straight to CS.
No forceps or ventouse; if it's likely they're needed, go straight to CS.
I am an intelligent human being. Please treat me as one.
Vitamin K for the baby please.
Anti D for me please.
Managed third stage.
Skin to skin please.

TiedUpWithString · 02/08/2015 08:49

Yy to no students, esp for a first.

TiedUpWithString · 02/08/2015 08:50

That's was the only part of my birth plan that was honoured. They even ignored no forceps I want a CS if it looks like it's going that way.

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