did you find your second pregnancy a bit of a slog??

[jojo76]

Hi, am due on christmas day, with dc2. I feel like i have been such a misery guts throughtout the whole thing, even though ive been less sick with this one, i have found it so exhausting, and im sure i have been loads more short tempered too. Im really struggling to feel as excited about this pregnancy whereas with the first one i was SO excited about the new baby.I have moments of fleeting excitement, but mainly, at the moment all i can think is "oh god, how am i going to cope with ds AND a new baby?" I feel like im really dreading the sleepless nights too. I sound really ungreatful and im feeling like a bit of a freak for feeling like this. Does anyone else feel the same, or am i just a grumpy old mare???????

I'm currently pg with no 2, already have dd 2.5. Yes, it is so much more exhausting 2nd time round. I'm not due until 2nd March and can't believe i've still got so long to go, God alone knows how I'm going to cope until then!

I'm apprehensive about coping with a baby and toddler but no more apprehensive than i was last time about coping with one baby. At least this time I know that however awful it is at first, it does pass and the baby phase doesn't last forever.

I don't have any practical suggestions, I'm afraid, just sympathy!

Yes.
Actually hated both times but my family now tell me I was horrid the second time around.
Did nowt but moan and whinge and snap.

Yes! I had anaemia and was SO shattered. I also had to work full time at a job that would bore a comatose person and DD1 was 2.5 when DD2 was born.

I felt like utter shite.

lol at job that would bore person in a coma!

erm.... i definitely had moments ( if not weeks!) like this!!

have 6 years between mine and suddenly started to panic ..how to do the school run with a 5 week old? getting up in the night?? how to bath a newborn??? how to surviive>>!>!>>!>!>!>!>

but i did!! and we all do....at least at Xms you have the perfect excuse to be waited on hand and foot...no-one will expect you to lift a finger if you are heavily pregnant or have just given birth,....

2nd time for me was easier.in reality.i was so less worried when baby arrived as i didn;t have time to be neurotic !!!!! baby had to go with the flow and get taken everywhere with us ,so it actually worked out ok..also, got into lots more mum & baby groups this time as felt more confident.!

you'll be ok...and when you're not....there 's mnet to vent on !!

(((hugs))

It's so fucking boring, moonie, I'm interviewing for two other ones this week and if I get either one I'm jumping ship.

Watching an ant farm is more interesting.

Oh good luck Expat.
Fingers crossed....

I was grumpy as hell 2nd time round (or so my dh tells me) think the fact you already have a lo to look after doesn't help. I have a 22 month gap and when i look back he was still a baby when dd was born,

yep me too - really not liking it. 6 months pregnant and have DD who is 2 in a few weeks. Also moved to New Zealand from the UK at about 18 weeks just to add to the palaver and have the iron count of a lump of wood (4). Seem to be starting to get SPD and am totally and utterly terrified of having a toddler and a new baby in a strange country with no friends and no lovely antenatal group from last time round.
So I think you are completely normal! I have had some excitement, like finding out it's a boy, but on the whole it's passing me by and I am a misery, and really short tempered with poor old DD. HOpefully all will be better once the new house is unpacked and we get rid of all the sodding boxes and wrapping.

yep. but the third in as many years, now that was a slog !
i swear i was pregnant for at least 10 years the last time

not long to go now... chin up love

time has RACED by since then (hes 10m now) and if ive survived, sense of humour intact, you'll be right too.

and that goes for you too MrsJC - much sypathy from here

Mostly because I had so little time to rest. I still vividly remember being exhausted at around 3 months and then again later on at the UNBELIEVABLY FAT stage with pregnancies 2 and 3 and having to keep going because I had lunatic toddler(s) in the house. Even when they napped I found I had too many other chores to catch up on.

You will feel differently once the baby has arrived - and you're very nearly there (hooray!!!). It is a bit of a bumpy ride while you try and sort out a new routine and settle a newborn in but the family will soon figure out a way of managing.

There is also a law that states time passes quicker with each child you have. The new baby will be running after it's bigger sibling in no time!

Hated being pregnant first and second time, sick for the first 16 weeks, acid reflux for the last 10 weeks, grumpy, bad tempered for the entire duration. Hated being fat, hated the increasing lack of agility, hated hated hated it. Soon as they were out and in my arms I felt so much better. Harder with two, but better out than in. At no point did I bloom.

"Better out than in" : brilliant description from juliaplustwo.

I have a 26 month old and a 5 month old and definitely, the 3rd trimester was the worst time. Dealing with a newborn and a toddler is hard, no doubt about it, but sooooo much more manageable.

So hang in there, it will get better!

(Slight hijack: MrsJohnCusack, I'm in Wellington and you're welcome to email me on welliemum at hotmail dot com. I'll happily bombard you with unwanted, unsolicited, basically useless advice about having a baby in NZ... seriously, if I can be of any help at all, don't hesitate to ask)

Oh thank god im not the only one, i feel so much more human now!! ds will be 2 in march so he is just still so little and going through that tantrummy stage at the moment, and i feel like psycho mum with him at times!! Have also got spd and am anaemic and am feeling sick again in the last few days so i think its all getting to me a bit! I feel so much better for all your messages, and i feel so much more positive now that it will get easier once new baby is OUT!
HUGS to you all, and TONS of cake to all the mums in same position at the moment

Very best of luck, it'll all be over soon. Keep us posted.

Wow thank god for this thread im not the only one then lol, Jojo my baby is due on the 23rd dec and my ds is 2 in april so it sounds like we are in the same boat, DS is going through a screaming in the night phase after being such a good baby and im dreading the new one arriving and having 2 of them screaming.

I too like you have not been excited at all in this pregancy and just want it over and done with ,and if im honest i havent been interested in it at all and have even kinda resented the fact that the lo is due at christmas time when i wanted it to be so special for ds (how terrible am i)( im hoping that will change when the lo arrives though) good luck and let me know how you get on.

nah - moved to the other side of the world halfway through BUT no3 is tough - am sure the fact I have a 4yo and a 2yo - both very active and busy with appts and activities that is making me tired and grumpy.

Have not really dared to think about the sleepless nights again - but dh and I do say - how the hell are we going to cope with the 2dds and a new baby!!

I'm 13 weeks pregnant and have a 2 3/4 year old, so far it's going well and I'm enjoying it a lot more than my first pregnancy. I didn't have morning sickness which was a great blessing! When I get heavier I'm sure I will find it a lot more tiring. My first child is at a good age, out of nappies and sleeping in a bed. I get more tired than normal but I can't just put my feet up whenever I feel like it. I've been going to bed early, about 9.30, but still can't get up in the morning!

pregnancies 1, 2 and 3 were an absolute joy compared to this one.
It's been along hard slog and I'm never ever ever ever doing it again.

I'd rather eat my own head than even concider being PG again after this baby is born.

Definitely. Second preg was one long hard slog. I found it hard going from the minute I guessed I was preg. Mind you ds1 was only 3 months old at the time...

Hi Mummyto1+bump, looks like were in the same boat, hopefully we will feel better once the babies are born. I dont think its bad that you feel a bit cheated about christmas, kids make christmas and it is dissappointing to think that you might miss it, just as your ds is getting older and will be excited about pressies,etc, ive felt like that myself. I had to have a c section last time and i worry that i will be in hospital for the few days over the christmas break while everyone else is doing the christmas thing so i know what you mean. Funny, my ds recently came out of a screaming in the night thing also.....he seems to have settled down again now though, fingers crossed. with mine i think it was that he couldnt find his dummy so now we put about 300 in his bed with him!! LOL. I went to mothercare yesterday and got all the maternity pads, paper knickers and all that, also treated myself to two pairs of maternity pj's (sick of mine falling down) and got a couple of sweet outfits for the new baby, whi8ch did help me to feel a bit omore prepared and a bit excited about it. I hadnt thought i was going to buy any new clothes for this one at first as we have so much from ds, but it did help to get this one its "own" clothes.....

I hope you are feeling better, keep in touch and let me know how it goes...maybe we will both be a week or so early and back home for christmas!! good luck!

thanks everyone else for your messages of support, i feel better knowing im not the only one not be obe on pregnancy cloud nine with no.2!

feel exactly the same Jojo - I'm 6 months pregnant with number 3 and feeling completely rubbish and inadequate about the whole thing

yup, was exactly the same with ds..... things improve dramatically once they're born and you start to feel human again. it's a lot easier to deal with toddler and a baby than toddler and a bump, you can put the baby down!

congratulations and good luck. be as nasty and miserable as you want, it's your perogative as a fat, hormonal preganant lady!