MILS mega F-UP! Ggggrrrrrr

[MarilynMongoose]

So a few weeks ago MIL said she had taken 3 days off this coming week to look after our boys while I'm in hospital having my section. Baring in mind it's Sunday night now 2 days till I go into hospital she just told us about everything she has booked to do this week in London. She's decided not to stay over and help with tge boys and used the time she originally booked off to help out to book 2 days of sight seeing in London instead! I am fuming! Fucking fuming! I don't think I can actually take her seriously what is she playing at???

OP instead of seething, grow a pair and ring her up!

Are you absolutely sure that this isn'tsome big misunderstanding and she has actually booked things to do with your boys? It just seems like such a bizarre thing to do.

Fuming is not the word I'd use - F Fuming ! I feel for you . How dare she , making site seeing more important then looking after her grandchildren especially in your circs . I would have physically called the shard and get her cancelled on the bloody list.

Though it's her choice and generosity well if she did stick to the plans but for what she would never been invited to my house again . If your oh cannot stand to her mum then F * it!

How rude!

Sight seeing ( bloody predictive text)

Your Mil is behaving like a dick, but your DH is letting her...

Bucket, the third post on this thread is the OP saying:

"Dh just asked her if she could cancel her plans and stay round as she told us she would and she said she's paid for tickets etc to go up the shard in London or whatever and can't! !! Like seriously what the fuck???"

its not a fuck up when someone chooses to do something completely different to what they have said they will do.

Why wont your husband ask her what she is playing at?

You sound a bit hormonal dear Yes, funny that, OstrichNeck - a nine month pregnant woman feeling hormonal. That's just incredibly rare...

Ring her OP. A good vent will do you good. But maybe start by offering to refund her Shard ticket? It would be cheaper than hiring someone.

I just get the feeling that she's done it to be difficult. I know it sounds stupid but why would she do it!? DH called her last night to ask her to cancel her plans etc and i was shouting down the phone in the background and he got cross at me for upsetting her. Trust me i have the biggest pair of balls ever and next time i see her there will be harsh words! And yes funny that i feel a bit hormonal, going in for my 3rd section tmrw and having to sort out childcare last min isn't stressful at all!?!? She told him that she thought he could cope with being in hospital and looking after the boys? wtf? what the fuck???

Not patronising you at all. just giving you perspective that this wouldn't seem half so bad if you didn't have hormones running around everywhere. If worst comes to worse, your DH will have the children and you will have the baby. There are a lot worse things to happen in the world, take it from someone who knows.

Call her and let rip. You'll feel better for it.

wouldn't be so bad?

people letting you down at the last minute when you are depending on them takes teh piss whether it's a c section or a trip to the theatre or whatever.

unless someone is dying or in a coma there was no excuse as to why she couldn't have said at the very beginning it was too much and alternative arrangements could have been made.

Ok. Seems like the OP doesn't particularly like MIL anyway, so she should just take this opportunity to cut ties. And hopefully OP will find alternative care. Surely there will be other friends/family members. Just seems OTT to me, upset and angry yes, but fucking fuming - bit extreme. Just sounds a bit precious and as if MIL owes it to her. Takes all sorts to make the world go around I guess!

Why would you like anyone, MIL or anyone else, who offered you childcare for major surgery and then announced they had decided to have a jolly instead? With TWO DAYS notice?
If you wouldn't be fucking fuming at that youre calmer than the dalai lama.

I quite like that - the dalai lama Calm is a good trait to have I think. Especially if I was just about to head into a C-section and realised that reduced stress would help with the delivery! Baby first after all!

You use the term let RIP.
What do you actually want here? Is it actually for this to get sorted so that MIL comes to have your children whilst you go in for a section or is it to 'let rip' at her and make other arrangements.

If it is the first Option I suggest you try and calmly ring your mother in law and say…….

MIL I am sorry there seems to be some misunderstanding. You said you would mind the boys whilst I went in for my section this week. They were so looking forward to it and it was going to be such a big help for me.
I realise there has been a mix up with the dates but it will be possible to move your visitor attraction bookings to another time - after all the shard is not going anywhere.
If you had let me know earlier that you were not planning to be around to help then I would have been able to make other arrangements as it is I am struggling to do so and really need your help and support on this.

If she still refuses give up and have nothing to do with her again!

At this risk of taking a bashing on here have you considered moving your section date???

You said she agreed to 3 days nut has only booked 2 days sight seeing. Move your section to Friday let MIL have the boys then and ask your own sweet mum to help from Saturday onwards?

Now that is reasonable Somersetlady!

Ask to move the section? Really? really? really? REALLY?

OP I'd be fuming too. It's the kind of crap my MIL would do. You need to clarify what, if any help, she's offering. Clarify whether she understood what was asked of her in the first place. Personally I wouldn't be pussyfooting about, couching it in terms of how much the older DCs were looking forward to it. I'd be saying it was a shame she couldn't support her son to support you. And that now that she is clearly busy you would let her know when you were ready for visitors some stage after the birth. Which might be after a few days at least, Because part of having the older DC's during this time is inevitably being more present to meet the new GC, and with your mum already around you will have enough people to cope with.

And I hope she's not using your house as a hotel during this time!

I'd have to call her and as calmly as possible explain to her that you were relying on her being at your home available to help look after her grandchildren while you go into hospital and have the newest edition to the family. You were not going to be looking for alternatives for people to look after your kids as she had offered and you had accepted. Had she not offered, you would have made alternative arrangements a lot earlier than this and she is being not only very selfish but not very trustworthy either.

Depending on how angry you are and how she speaks to you on the phone, you could (if you feel up to it) tell her that she is not welcome to visit you in the hospital and that she will have to arrange to see her new grandchild when it suits you and not when it suits her!

She really has left you high and dry on this one hasn't she! Thoughtless woman!

Thanks for all the support I really appreciate it. Just to clarify I can't move my section date as much as that would help that's a bit ridiculous and DH would like to be there as do I. Also again I never expected help like it was owed to me it was offered. MIL and I do get on but this is very hard to work out I'm as puzzled as anything to be honest. There will be no visiting for a good few days me thinks lol

Move the Section

I have never typed this before but ....

LOL

Yes cos there's really no risk of going into labour before the date,or a spare date to be had. This is the nhs after all.

let's just Mess work around and all the school run arrangements etc that have been in place for months all bcause of a flaky selfish MIL.