What's a British version of a baby shower?

[ovumahead]

I'm pregnant with my second child. Several people have suggested I have a baby shower but I didn't with my first and although I absolutely love the idea of getting friends together before I pop this time, the whole concept of a baby shower makes me cringe. We don't want or need anything from anyone so it wouldn't be about gifts but just getting together
together. But isn't this just having some friends over, or going for lunch? Am I missing something, or being unsentimental or odd? Help!

Some close friends and rellies might bring some little gift after the baby is born even if they have been to a shower, but they might be more likely to bring a bring a casserole or two. People who didn't go to a shower might send a gift. Neighbours would likely bring food and/or offer to take older children off your hands for a few hours.

5YearsTime, I agree with your post.
I had a surprise shower thrown for me 25 years ago at the office where I worked before DD1 was born. All the items people gave were incredibly useful and lasted through five DCs in the end a high chair, a top of the line adjustable carseat, many hand-crocheted blankets, baby towels, little stuffed animals. A jolly afternoon was had by all in the office no games, just some champagne and desserts followed by puzzling over how to get it all home on the train..

Thanks everyone! I wonder what the deleted message was? Hmm. Anyway, lunch or afternoon tea sounds simpler and far easier! Think I'll do that. Will definitely specify no presents just their presence! (ugh I won't actually say that don't worry)

Judging by the name, it was probably spam.

I had a baby shower and then a huge amounts of gifts after the baby. This is going to sound awful but I found presents afterwards pretty stressful. I had a traumatic birth and when the first lot of post birth presents arrived I almost found then offensive because I didn't have my baby with me. Then when I was exhausted and struggling to breastfeed I had to wash it all, remember who gave what, write thank you cards, etc. I know everyone doesn't have such a bad time but I appreciated the presents before hand that I could be properly grateful for. I felt incredibly rude not being able to be properly grateful.

Why do we now have baby showers? It's another Americanism creeping in like proms.

Each to their own of course.

Bravely holding the line against the encroaching Hun fun...

It's another Americanism creeping in like proms.

When I left school (oooh, nearly 25 years ago) we had a 5th Year Leaver's party after GCSE's when a lot of people left, and a 6th Form Leaver's party. I went to a pretty dodgy comp. I had lovely evening dresses for both events. So it was basically a prom with a different name.

In the olden days, people used to give gifts after the baby was born. This is before - with a party thrown in for good measure. I don't actually see the problem. The more parties and fun, the better - American or not!

(I suppose it is traditional for us British to be reserved and miserable, but if we can import a bit of fun and positivity then all the better.)

Heavens forbid, people notice people on another country having fun and decide to do the same themselves! Those nasty Americans with their parties and gift giving.

My school and all the other schools I was familiar with had a 'Debs' (short for Debutantes Ball) in Ireland way back in the early 80s, and at that point it was a tradition dating back at least to the 1950s, in Dublin at least. The form the partying took in the 80s had probably changed a lot since the days of white gloves for young ladies. It was the same idea as a Prom -- a formal night out for the class leaving school. We started with a reception in the school, then went to a local hotel for dinner, then on to a night club where we boogied and bopped til dawn, and on again for breakfast.

In the US it's the norm to have them before the birth, and to have a gift registry so you can buy stuff from it (like a wedding present registry..) for the expecting couple to be delivered at the party or after the birth. The couple I've been to they've really gone to town on, with games etc and it's a bit OTT for me, but not sure if this is the norm.

Currently trying to get out of one next month for DHs friends; I don't know them (met them twice) but they insist on us coming, and oh, surprise, sending the registry details with it. Having been at their wedding, I wasn't surprised to see some v big items on there

The big items are normally bought by family and very close friends. Mere acquaintances are not expected to provide the £££ or $$$ pram.

I see a lot of when the subject of wedding registries is brought up, but imo this is much more practical than having 100 invited guests spending time wondering what to give and everyone deciding what they need is a toaster. I personally like to know a gift I send is one that will be appreciated and used, not the subject of an argument with someone at the returns desk who can't accept returned items beyond a certain date or without a receipt, or who will only give credit and not a cash refund.