I don't really like talking about personal things to friends as I'm usually so happy and bubbly I really don't want them to see me down, so I'm turning to Mumsnet for some friendly hand holding advice.
Basically, two days ago I spoke to my OH about having a baby (I'm 15 weeks pregnant today). As he's been in another city we haven't been able to speak much. We've been best friends and together for years so I didn't imagine him to react so badly, especially as we're each other's first love.
Anyway, as we're in our 20s we ideally wanted to wait til we were 30 but that didn't happen. I for one am thrilled, though unplanned I love my baby and I just think I get to be a mum longer than if I'd waited til I was 30.
Two day ago he asked me to go to an abortion clinic for a consultation to see if i could go through with it, of course I said no. I knew he would ask this because this was really the only other option we had if he didn't want a baby just yet. Needless to say I was heartbroken, and this subject was brought up whilst we were on a walk so I was left crying. THEN he spat in my face and walked away. I felt humiliated. I was crying to the point I couldn't catch my breath, it was just horrible. That day he told his mum about the pregnancy and she called me and couldnt stop apologising on his behalf when I told her about him spitting in my face. She was absolutely disgusted, but she was delighted she was going to become a grandmother. His parents are so lovely and are really supportive, so they're going to try and talk to him and see if this is him just being angry, and hopefully he will calm down because I love him to bits and I know we'd be a lovely little family (assuming he NEVER spits in my face again). As petty as it is he's removed me as a friend on facebook and at the minute he's acting like i don't exist and it really hurt. I know everyone will say he's not worth it and maybe I'll realise that one day, but this is such a shock because he's a lovely person, admittedly he has his moments, but this just takes the p*ss.
I feel like I can't enjoy my pregnancy. I don't "feel" pregnant at the minute so I'm hoping everything is still ok. I suppose as I'm 15 weeks I'm just waiting to start feeling little flutters or something now, but this is my first so I have no idea what happens when.
I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for, maybe someone to tell me to move on or to not hold out for him changing his mind or just reassurance that as a single mum I can do it. I'm just feeling a mixture of anger and sadness but in general I'm just completely heartbroken.
At least I have a lovely little baby to look forward to though!