niggly comments from the other half?

[Shera82]

hi everyone - am 8 months now but recently my husband has been asking me have I been doing my squats, am I going to go out for a walk and then asked me do I hold my stomach muscles in or let it all 'hang out'. Also has been checking that when I'm on maternity leave I feel ok to leave the baby with HIS mum in case I want to go to the gym. He tries to say that he doesn't mean anything by it and I look great etc. - but cant help feel that not only have I been carrying the baby and looking after it as best I can, its as if he is worried I am going to 'let myself go' or not loose weight? I haven't put that much on thankfully and love my food (more the better!)- but just seems that he doesn't get the impact on your body, feelings and self that pregnancy can have even though its amazing to go through. Anyone else have these wee niggly comments from the other half? Don't even get me started on trying to feel sexy enough for a bit of you know what - be a sex symbol and loose weight, and be pregnant and give birth.

He sounds like a bit of a fanny, tbh. DH would never say these things to me, and I'm pregnant with DC3.

Wow - that is so rude!
It's not just niggly, it's really horrid.

My DH would never says these things as he knows it would upset me.

Last two pregnancies I was 3 st overweight after I'd given birth, DH never made a comment about it because he knows I'd get the weight off when I was ready...

You should speak to him and tell him how you feel - men are oblivious sometime he might not think nothing of it but obviously it's hurting you! Tell him I don't like your comments

I think maybe speak to him now rather than when/if he makes a comment? Take control of it now rather than being caught off guard and hurt.

It doesn't need to be a fight, just a 'I've been really surprised by these x comments as you are normally so supportive, they make me feel uncomfortable because...'

It sounds like your husband misunderstands that you are a person and not a pretty object to be paraded around on display.

DH's friend told him when his wife was pregnant recently her weight gain changed the way he felt about her - the two of them were superfit gym freaks & I think it highlighted just how superficial this guy is. I didn't realise he was such a prick & DH went through him for his comments.

Now I'm pregnant DH has been quite sweet & checking frequently how I feel about my expanding waistline. He's been working on his "dad bod" while I skipped yoga classes a lot in the first trimester because I was so tired - he's never been judgemental about it though.

There's no point bashing your DP further but you are definitely not being too sensitive. You're making another whole person inside you - you do not need squats or to suck in. And after the baby is born there's a lot more important things to care about than losing the baby weight.

I don't think it is physically possible to hold your stomach in in late pregnancy. I'm 37 weeks, and I just tried and couldn't do it.

I would think that doing squats would come with a risk of peeing yourself or tipping over.

Ok, so I agree, he isn't the most tactful man. However in his defence (I know, don't hit me). It sounds as though he is struggling to come to terms with how your body is changing in pregnancy, I mean hell, I struggle with how my body is changing and I'm not that far along. I suspect it's a combination of him starting to realise that there is another human in you that is going to make an appearance soon and how that is going to change your relationship and he is focusing on the physical aspects as that is something he understands and feels able to misguidedly support you with (I did say misguidedly!).

Next time he says something I'd sit down and explain how hurtful it is when he says these things and that he is going to accept that your body is different and will be different again.

I heavily suspect that once he see's the product of the amazing thing your body is doing he will change his tune!