I need advice.

[jurisane]

I haven't broken the news to people at work yet but I'm already 21 weeks and showing. I've been trying to wear lose clothes and jackets to hide the bump but I can't do that forever. The problem is there is another girl in my office who is really struggling to get pregnant and I don't want to upset her. I know how difficult it is after having my own miscarriage last year.

I was thinking of getting a cake that said something like "It's a Girl" and bringing it in for everyone but I'm worried that would be too much. I honestly don't have any idea how to break the news. Please HELP!

The more I read this thread the more it makes me squirm... As others have said - your pregnancy really isn't the world-shattering event for others that it seems to be for you (like it was for all of us of course!) People who struggle to conceive are faced with strangers with bumps and cute babies on a daily basis. Your colleague will probably be far more upset seeing a heavily pregnant stranger smoking than she will be by your happy news.
time to chill... no emails, and absolutely definitely no cake.

I get it, you all hate cake. We have people bringing in goodies all the time here so me bringing in cupcakes or small sheet cake I got at the grocery store really wouldn't turn any heads, let me assure you. That said there will be no cake.

As for the email: Most of my department travels 80-90% of the time and some of them I haven't actually seen in a few years because they work from homes that are hundreds of miles away. So an email is sometimes the best way to get a hold of them. I am the backup for the entire department so they really need to know when I'm going to be MIA especially since my due date is during our busiest time of the year. I realize my getting pregnant isn't going to be the highlight of their year but it would be rude and unprofessional of me not to let them know I'm going to be gone.

The girl I was worried about isn't in my department but her desk is less than 20 feet from mine and she is a super sweet girl. No we aren't close but I'm not heartless. I've been in her shoes. I've done the bathroom break cry myself and don't like the thought of doing that to someone else.

Not just any old cake, though - one emblazoned with 'It's a girl'. Can you really not see the difference?

A cake announcing one's own pregnancy is weird in any environment except a baby shower. If a colleague did that, I'd think she had an overinflated view of how much the rest of us cared about her personal life. I know you mean well but trust the consensus here - it's over the top!

I'm going to tell my friends at work directly and have my manager (who already knows) tell everyone else who will be affected. No cake, no email, no party.

Even having read your explanation, a cake with it's a girl is so way bizarre and over the top!! Oh god. I am cringing.

We are a department of commuters. Go for months not seeing many amongst us. There have been 8 babies over the past 2 years, at least three MCS known to me. I'm pregnant now. People bring in goodies all the time too. Nobody has got a cake to announce a pregnancy. It's the opposite of not wanting attention.

I told manager, hr, one person, another person, and that sorted it.

Glad you're parking the cake idea juri and sirry you got so much of a lynching for it. It is one of those ideas that seems so nice in your head but a bit out of context in the real world.
My office is a cake and treat heavy environment too. For all means being some sweet snacks info work at a point bit T's the attaching their significance to oregnancy news that everyone's shook their head at. Coming from a good place though to save you from raised eyebrows and rolled eyes maybe.
Have you decuded how to approach Your TTC colleague yet?