Right - want to move forward on pregnancy anxiety also want positive stories

[Sleeplessinnorthlondon]

Ok - have accepted, with support from amazing MN, doctors and mental health team that have not harmed baby with early drinking. Now (this is just ridiculous but true) so worried have harmed him through anxiety and will continue to do so til can fix this. Steering clear of google now but in dark hrs found links to mental health issues, brain problems generally and even autism. Am really making progress but still having some very dark hours and super interested to hear stories from women who struggled with pregnanxy anxiety and came through the other side with little boys or girls who seem to be unaffected!!!! How did you manage? What did you do? Yours in hopeful anticipation!

Sorry to start all this up again but had a ridiculous setback and really need some support. Fully, finally, believe all doctors that no harm to baby from me so far and now anxiety madness moved on and so worried by general risk to baby of being born with problems. Clearly this could affect any child any where, why is this driving me mad not others? Also, teach kids with range of problems all of whom are great, thing have become fixated on is something where they could not live independently as am only child and have no family that would be same age as kid so who would look after them after we are not around. Trying distraction and Cbt techniques and getting somewhere but nowhere great. Anyone else been here and come out the other side? Xxxx

You've got to just keep plugging away at the CBT and distraction techniques sleepless ... You are doing so well!

Even though you are still having these intrusive thoughts, the fact that they are causing you less anxiety and you are more able to manage them is brilliant.

You can and will come out the other side of this episode... Mindfulness and your techniques will help you through. xx

Thank you! Techniques basically not acknowledge the thought then try to distract self with housework or reading or tv and doing breathing techniques. Doing some brisk walks, lots of sleeping - anything else I can or should be doing? Xxxx

I find chocolate helps but maybe that's just me just make sure you reward yourself for the hard work you are doing and really reinforce those positive feelings... You are so empowered now compared to when you first posted and things can only get better from here. You are doing so well! Xx

Hi.

First of all, you need to recognise that your mind is fixating on one issue after another. First the drinking, then the anxiety, now this.

My first instinct was to tell you my situation - that I am an only child giving birth to my first baby this November in UK and my parents are ageing in their homes in India. Not only do I not have siblings or cousins out here, I don't have a drop of blood relation in the entire Western Hemisphere of planet earth. So what happens of my baby boy is born with problems this November? Well - I count my blessings that he will grow up in a civilised society in the west, because if I had been back in India, children with problems have a rubbish deal dealt to them.

But - telling you this would be doing what everyone did on your first thread, telling you reassuring stories about the drinking. But reassurance is a recipe for disaster in such situations. So, I don't want to reassure you.

Treat this as Issue C.

Issue A was OCD about drinking. You convinced yourself that all evidence pointed towards massive problems. You went past it.

Issue B was Anxiety. You convinced yourself that the worrying about Issue A pointed towards massive problems. You went past it.

Issue C is generalised gnawing anxiety about baby. Okay. Fine. You will - as with Issues A and B - get past it.

Hang in there.

Hi, 11 months ago I was sections whilst 8 months pregnant and put in a mother and baby unit I throughout my pregnancy had to take anxiety and depression tablets, all sedatives while sectioned. My baby came out with no problems she wasn't even addicted to all the medicine I was prescribed (thank god) there was no withdrawals and because I carried on with my medication I suffered no pnd or anxiety. You really have to eat up the odds of taking medicine because an unhappy mother with stress equals an unhappy baby bro or within your tummy. Of course my anxiety got worse wen I started taken the medication but now I see that it was my illness that was causing me this stress. Anxiety takes over your life, and the best thing you can do for you and your baby is to get it sorted before he/she comes along xx I have 2 very happy healthy and intelligent children, who (fingers crossed) has never had to go to the doctor because they've never even been ill before as for autism (this was the biggest thing I was worried about, I used to study it for hours over the Internet!) my kids are showing no signs and my oldest its 5, youngest 2 so u would of seen at least one sign but nothing! Get your self better because anxiety took over my life , message me babe if you'd like anymore info, I've been there and I had no one to help me xxx I don't mind any questions xx

Hang in there Sleepless, it sounds like you're doing so much better - you've identified an intrusive thought, you've started to challenge it, and you've not started googling or seeking reassurance, and that's HUGE.

When you talk to your therapist next, maybe talk about looking at some other ways to challenge your anxiety, too. I've had a bunch of exercises about catastrophic thinking and about how to challenge my assumptions that I find really helpful to go through with the therapist - she's quite good at spotting some bad patterns I get into and drawing out ways that I can work through them. sometimes I just can't distract myself effectively and my anxiety continues to build, but the techniques for challenging the thoughts can get me off the loop of worry.

Thanks all, hugely appreciate all this, good calm weekend so far - hope all of you doing well xxxx

I am so happy I have found this thread. I've just yesterday had a BFP for my first baby and I am so happy and excited but am on the verge of ruining it for myself. I too have such terrible anxiety anyway, in particular health anxiety and OCD. A few years ago when it all kicked off I had convinced myself I had HIV, I came through it. Then more recently I convinced myself I had cancer. I am at a point in my anxiety where I can recognise triggers and deal with things before they get too serious. I posted yesterday because I found out I was pregnant on holiday and had accidentally spent the first two weeks of my pregnancy drinking. I don't binge drink but I was on an adults holiday so a few glasses of wine with dinner etc, a few bottle is beer and the odd cocktail. Anyway... I sought reassurance on the thread I posted and it did held but with anxiety it's never enough! Now I 'worry' if I will ever get it out of my head! It is so nice to know I'm not alone in my stupid twisted thoughts. I like the way 'focusfocus' says to try and deal with things because that is what it is like for me... One problem after another. I will keep an eye on this thread. Thank you xx

Hey gemsparkle - if this helps v happy to tell you am super excited about pregnancy and genuinely believing advice from FOUR separate doctors (super mad seeking loads of advice) that no risk of harm to babe based on way more and later drinking that you so don't worry!!! Find what support works for you, sounds like you are managing things well, but also bear in mind some days when you think you've kicked it can come back and bite you as it has me - these things seem to be 5 steps forward then sometimes 2 steps back but i fall back on my mantra from CBT - your fears are driven by feelings not facts. Huge congrats on pregnancy and PM me any time you need support xxxx

Hello, I saw your other thread, glad you're doing so great.

I have three things to say:

1. I had huge stresses during pregnancy for various reasons, and my little one is completely normal and fine.
2. The way you treat your child once it's born is far more important in health terms than anxiety you feel now- and what's most important is giving them love.
3. My partner suffered extreme anxiety and OCD (inc. delusions) for YEARS, and following some CBT then tough but incredibly worthwhile psychotherapy, is like a new person and has not looked back. You are doing all the right things.

Keep going on the good path, love yourself, and when the baby comes, give it all the kisses in the world. You'll both be ok.

Another update (posting this on all my various crackers threads from past months) - couple of wobbles here and there but (ALMOST) completing believing the now FOUR docs who have all said no risk to worry about at all, ALMOST believing anxiety not at level or at point in pregnancy to have caused further complications (worrying about worrying...) and really starting to look forward to having this child. Thank you thank you thank you all so very very much for all your huge huge support mumsnet, going to always offer support to any other friends I've yet to meet on mumsnet where I can in gratitude for enormously helpful interventions from all of you. Huge love, sleepless xxx