First of all, I don't at all mean to insult all those highly-capable, hardworking, well-trained young midwives out there.
They are doing an excellent and vital job.
I'm just having a hormonal rant here.
With my first three pregnancies, the midwives I had were all older than me, and each of them had had children themselves. We had an excellent rapport, and they were able to speak to me from a place of shared experience. They were absolutely wonderful.
However, now with my fourth, perhaps because nine years have passed since my first pregnancy, every single midwife I've met (three so far) is almost young enough to be my own daughter. None of them have birthed children yet.
They have been lovely, professional, and kind, but I just feel unable to connect with them. Today I met two of them at the same time, and tried to talk through some of my apprehensions concerning my meeting with my consultant gynaecologist, who I feel is pushing me down a more medicalised route than I want.
They listened, but I just felt there was no real understanding of what I was trying to share.
It could just be a personality thing, and the fact that they are so young and haven't experienced pregnancy might have nothing to do with the fact that I'm failing to connect and communicate, and that I feel a lack of support and sympathy.
Having said that, the midwife who delivered my third baby hadn't had children either, and she was phenomenal. I couldn't have asked for anyone better.
So my issue isn't so much with the ones who help with the birth, but with the antenatal care, when I just want someone to talk to. Perhaps I just have an overly romanticised idea of the midwife as an older wise woman, a mentor almost, leading others down a path which she has travelled herself.
Am I unreasonable? Silly? Unfair? Ageist? Hormonal? Or all of the above?