Woah. The fear.

[purplebiro]

Due to be induced with my first baby on Saturday, not expecting the baby to come before then but she may, and all of a sudden - after 9 months of being uber chill about the whole business (although very excited) I have suddenly got The Fear in a big way. Some reassurance please?

I am scared about the birth - I thought I was hardcore but I had a sweep on Tuesday and it really knocked the stuffing out of me and that's nothing compared to what the birth will be like. Plus, having had an iron stomach my whole life I appear to have become a pukey-lucy since I've been pregnant and I am convinced I am going to be throwing up the whole time. I know that's probably going to be nothing compared to the pain but it's not nice, is it?

I am scared about after the birth - I am on antidepressents and have a long history of severe depression that has been (for the last 5 years or so) very well managed with medication. Thankfully I was allowed to continue on Sertraline 50mg throughout the pregnancy and have had absolutely no antenatal depression but this sudden fear feels very overwhelming and hormonal and I worry it is a taste of what is to come when the baby comes.

What if I don't bond with my baby? I love kids and I bond with them really well but newborns are...harder to see the cute/funny? I'm sort of banking on the big hormonal rush sorting me out and I won't beat myself up if it doesn't come but I feel like a bit of a monster even thinking like that.

Sorry, this is a bit of a rant - just need to get it out there.

Purple, I truly beleive that sweeps are 100 worse than birth (that is just me though!) have you got any kind of birth plan? I know it kind of goes out the window with an induction but it may help make you feel a bit more in control?

Will you have good support with you?

You will do great im sure

Good luck x

No birth plan other than to see what happens and what I cna cope with pain-wise and react appropriately - that might sound naive but I'm also quite forthright around medical staff and my partner knows my wishes and also won't be afraid to fight for them either.

And yes - great support - partner and I have just had a nice chat and he was very reassuring. Mum will be around after the baby is born for a day or two - although she has the capacity to stress me out a bit so I have provision in place to make sure she keeps her distance a bit and partner is also on the case!

Sorry only half a post there the dog started running round with a pair of pants out the washing so had to chase him

The contractions are a totally different type of pain to sweeps (I'm sure some people will say sweeps aren't painful, but I thought sweeps/internals etc were v painful). Everyone is different but I coped with contractions very well compared to everything else.

Have you been told how they will go about things? Pessary etc? It does help if you know what they will be doing. Remember you can ask for g&a for them, well in my area you can.

Sorry for rambling!

No - realised earlier I didn't really know anything about induction other than stuff I've gleaned from friends so have been researching online but still feel a bit in the dark. And I guess it all depends on what my cervix is up to by then what happens anyway? Didn't know I could have G&A for them, that's useful to know.

As for the sweep - again, think I was being a bit head in the sand about it until a few hours before when it occurred to me it might be more than a tickle and I looked it up although even then it didn't occur to me it would be that uncomfortable. At least it was short, I guess.

Oh purple I reckon id be more worried about you if you didn't have the fear.
It's only natural, we about to embark on unknown adventures. And, imo, it's that unknown/outwith our control aspect that fuels it.

At the moment I'm quite chilled about everything, have no birth plan either. Just going with it. But I know when it comes to it I will be a shit bag of nerves and "what if's".

But then I'm the kind of person who had the fear going back to work after annual leave - incase I've forgotten all my training!

I'm rambling. Hope it helps distract you at least

Well I think there's a few different methods of induction depending on your circumstances.

I was induced with ds and had an appointment a couple of days before telling me what would be happening and then they explained it all again on the day.

With me, I went in at 9am on the Saturday, they gave me the pessary, my cervix was high and posterior . I believe you can have a total of 3 of the pessaries 6 hours apart. When they checked me after 6 hours they were unable to give me another one as I was contracting regularly and another one would cause me to contract too much. That's when they gave me a sweep, which stopped everything. The next day I was sent down to labor ward (after hours of waiting for a room) where they broke my waters. They would leave me 4 hours (I think!) and if nothing happened they would start me on the hormone drip. I went on the hormone drip at around 7pm, ds was born at 4.39am the next day.

Might help hearing other peoples experiences of induction? I think there's a few if you look on old threads.

Be prepared for it to take a while! I was expecting to go in Saturday and be home by Sunday. I was in there a week! 3 days for the induction/birth.

I have just remembered aswell you mentioned being sick, I don't know if it's an old wives tale or what but I swear I have seen threads with people saying they have a 'clear out' before going into labor. I wonder if it could be that? Maybe someone who can be more helpful will be along soon!