Panicking about having 2!

[BrownEyedGirl32]

Hi there.

Just looking for reassurance. I'm currently 14wks pregnant with my second child. DS is 2.5y.

Problem is I'm keep having panicky episodes about how I'm going to cope with 2! I know in the long run it will be worth it but it's the first few months I'm worried about.

Looking for positive but honest experiences. I'm sure it won't be as bad as I think!

Thanks in advance.

Yeah i'm currently 32+2 with DC3 so probably a bit biased, but I think another sibling certainly enhanced life in our family.

Was it difficult, no more than having a newborn on their own.

Don't worry and enjoy the experience.

Well it's still early days for me as DS2 is only six months old (there's two years two days between them), but we've made it this far in one piece! Obviously there have been difficult times, but probably overall it's been easier than I expected. Don't underestimate how much pleasure you will get from watching their relationship develop, nor what good company/help your toddler will be compared to going it alone the first time.

My only tip would be to remember that CBeebies exists for a reason!

2 is easier than one, they entertain each other. 3 is even easier! don't have four though, thats bloody hard

Thanks for your replies. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. Maybe the pregnancy hormones. I mean how bad can it be? Will take us a few weeks to get a routine but will manage. DS1 goes to nursey in January and baby will be here in November so will have that time. Think I'm just getting myself worked up.

It's good to know there are positive experiences. Thanks again

I found it bloody hard. My first DD was such a mummy's girl and I wish I'd done more to get her in daddy's camp before the baby. She wouldn't let him put her to bed etc so it was hard when I had to deal with that and baby too. But however hard it was it was also wonderful and totally worth it. They are 4 and 6 now and absolute best buddies. You'll be fine.

I think it very much depends on the character of both children. DS1 was 2 yrs 3 months when DS2 was born and luckily was fairly independent and laid back and showed no jealousy. Which was lucky because dS2 was a handful, to say the least! He cried a LOTand needed holding all the time. It was a bit of a shock to have such a high-needs baby really.

I'm not going to lie to you, the first 12 weeks or so were a real trial. dH worked away a lot and the evening were very hard on my own as I felt I was neglecting DS1's needs for relaxed bedtime story etc. So in the end we decided to stay at my parents' whenever DH was away which helped a huge amount for all of us.

You may ask what is so positive about this? Well, it is positive because, as hard as it was at the beginning, I would do it again, because the positives NOW far outweigh the negatives of the first few weeks with 2. They are best friends and have a ready-made playmate in each other. I love to watch them spend time together.

I think ehat you need to do, OP, is not sit worrying about how bad it will be, but tell yourself that it will only be a temporary situation and all you have to do is get through it. That's all. Anyway, Best case scenario is that you will have a very easy second baby and may wonder what all the worry was for! (I do know second babies like this!)