Suspected Miscarriage - need some advice please

[Wharm14]

At the weekend I had two positive pregnancy tests, I was due my AF on Sunday. I had an Ectopic Pregnancy last September which resulted in the removal of my right tube and was told next time I had a positive test, to go to the doctors to get referred to the EPU (Early Pregnancy Unit) ASAP.

I went to see my GP on Monday morning and she took blood and booked me for a scan at the EPU on 1st June when I would be 6 weeks. I had a follow up blood test on Wednesday to check my HCG levels within 48 hours of the first test to see if they had doubled. One of the other GP's called me today to tell me my HCG levels have dropped from 91.7 on Monday to 30 yesterday. She told me the pregnancy wasn't viable and I was going to miscarry. She said she would call the EPU to seek further advice and call me back.

When she called back she said the consultant at the EPU had told her the pregnancy wasn't viable and I was to take another test in a fortnight to confirm I wasn't pregnant anymore. She told me if I had any pain or bleeding to contact the doctors again and she has canceled my scan on the 1st June. And that was all she could do.

I said I wasn't happy to just be left like that, with a history of Ectopic pregnancy and when pushed, the GP offered to do my bloods again next Wednesday. She told me I would likely just have a "normal" period at some point.

Can any wise mums netters please share with me their experiences and help me understand this? Do I need to push for more tests? Should I still have my scan on the 1st June? Or do I simply wait this out and see if I bleed/miscarry?

I'm so confused, I came home from work early in a right state, I don't know what to do with myself now, I'm in bits. We are trying to conceive #1, I am 37 years old.

[Wharm14]

Not sure if I should have posted this in Miscarriage/loss, I suppose I'm trying to stay positive by posting it Pregnancy (also didn't think to check for miscarriage forum before I posted)

[Wharm14]

Anyone out there that can help me?

[Metalhead]

If your hcg levels have already dropped and as you're still so early on it is likely you'll just start to bleed within the next few days and have a natural miscarriage. I don't think you really need a scan unless you still get positive tests in a week or two, which could suggest retained tissue. I'm sorry you're having to go though this, but I think it is standard practice to just tell people to wait and test again in a week or two if it is very early on.

[plonkie]

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through :-(. I had an ectopic pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage last year too and I know its not easy. Personally I would push for the scan because it would provide more evidence and info about what's happening. Blood tests alone can be a bit vague xxx

[Wharm14]

Thank you plonkie, I'm really sorry to hear you've been through the same thing, it sucks. I am of the same mind although I know it's still too early to see anything on a scan yet but I think if I haven't bled by six weeks I will be pushing for that.

Thank you metal for your reply, I guess lots of people go through this and it is unfortunately just a waiting game. As my Mum loves to tell me, in "her day" I wouldn't even know I was pregnant at this stage and she had to wait till she'd missed two periods until she could even get a test at the GP's, then wait a week for the results! x

[bakingtins]

I'm really sorry you are facing another loss. The GP is quite right. You need to have an HCG of 1000 before they expect to see anything on a scan. I know it feels harsh but there is absolutely nothing that anyone can do. You are very unlikely to have any problems with retaining tissue so early on, the HPT is just to draw a line under it and so you know that a future positive test is the real thing and not leftover hormones. I agree with metal that with the HCG already very low you are likely to have a bleed over the next few days. You need to use pads rather than tampons to reduce the risk of infection, and take normal painkillers if you get cramping pains. A second loss is very difficult to come to terms with, I'm sure you feel like you've already had your share of bad luck, but you are not eligible for investigation (and in fact some doctors don't count an ectopic towards the 3 miscarriages before they investigate, though I think that's grossly unfair)
The miscarriage board in the body and soul section is a good place if you need to vent the unfairness of it all, get any practical advice for coping or find some sympathetic ears as you grieve.

[Newtobecomingamum]

Hi, I am so sorry to hear about your experience. I had exactly the same before I had my son and it's so hard to get your head around it. Until I started bleeding (it is like a normal period) I held hope the results were wrong or that my levels would increase. It's really sad, but until it happened I didn't realise how common it was and that many woman miscarriage and don't even know. You are in this limbo place at the moment and I really feel for you. All I can say to reassure you is that I went on to have a perfectly healthy son after and I am sure you're day will come soon. Sending you lots of hugs xxx

[ARV1981]

I can't offer any advice, but I would like to send hugs and . So sorry to hear your sad news. Xxx

[KatySparkles]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had an ectopic in November 2013 and then a miscarriage in June 2014 at 7 weeks. I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first (so to speak) so please don't give up hope. For now, please be kind to yourself and know we are all here for you if you want to talk.

[Tootsiepops]

Please, please push for a scan. I had a positive hpt in Nov 2013. Started bleeding a few days later. EPU saw me at 6 weeks. TV scan showed nothing, beta hcg was 30 and I had low progesterone - they told me I'd miscarried, to go home and wait it out and to take another test in a week.

A week passed and I still had a positive hpt. Back to EPU for another scan and more bloods - they saw the pregnancy in my left tube and my hcg was only just over 100.

Insist on another scan

[Wharm14]

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply. I'm at my GP's now waiting to be seen by my normal GP, I'll update you all once I seen her.

[Steph1502]

Can't offer advice but I'm sending hugs and positive thoughts. Sorry you are having to go through this xx

[scarednoob]

I'm afraid I too don't have anything useful to say, just wanted to sympathise and say I am so sorry you are having to go through something so difficult :(

[Momagain1]

i am not sure when a pregnancy is established enough to call it a miscarriage. Nowadays (am old) you can know the egg is fertilised and that your body is gearing up before you even miss your cycle, but well before pregnancy is completely established. The very early tests arent proving pregnancy so much as evidence of everything, including fertilised egg, being in place for pregnancy. It indicates the hormone cycle has been started but many things about that egg and the timing of chemicals, hormones and uterine readiness can still not matchup, and the potential pregnancy fails.

In the old days, you had to miss two cycles before you even called the doctor (in the US anyway). a late or delayed cycle might get your hopes or fears up, but when you began afterall, it was a sad thing, or a relief, but it wasnt a miscarriage. I guess it is good to know what is happening, in case your body needs intervention to shed the non-pregnancy. That healthrisk is eliminated.) But it is so hard that young women like yourself go through the loss of such unestablished pregnancies knowing they were pregnancies. We never knew.

[willitbe]

I hope that you get a scan, as ectopic pregnancies can show low and fluctuating hcg levels, that can mimic the standard early miscarriage, but can not be left. I hope that your GP listens to you.

[Wharm14]

Well my GP was sympathetic but said there's really nothing they can do yet, I just have to wait it out. I'm going back for another blood test next week and depending on whether I've started bleeding or not by then, she will assess whether to request a scan. Feeling numb, taken the day off work and DH has taken me out for the day to take my mind off it. It's just a waiting game now, even if it is God forbid another ectopic, it's too early to scan till next week and I'm not bleeding or in any pain. It's DH's birthday tomorrow, we'll try and have a nice day out.
Thank you for all the sympathy and support and advice, I truly appreciate it all and so does DH ??

[willitbe]

I just noticed that you are not yet 5 weeks, so the doctor is right, in that ectopics are not really possible to see really before that time. But I can understand your concerns. It is a great idea to try to distract yourself tomorrow.

[Alice1983]

I had a MC last year and was given Progesterone and all sorts of stuff to try and make it viable and it was just a waiting game in the end. There really isnt much you can do, apart from as OP have said, distract yourself. Its nature and as my doctor said 'you can't change it'. If you want something enough, it will happen for you. Best of Luck x

[willitbe]

Alice1983, please be careful about the use of the phrase "If you want something enough, it will happen for you" with regards to recurrent miscarriage and infertility, I find that statement very upsetting.

[Rudawakening]

I agree willitbe, not ganging up Alice and I'm sure you meant well but it does imply that all women who suffer miscarriage or infertility don't 'want' it enough for it to happen.

Wharm I'm really sorry this is happening, the week will pass and you will know soon enough, easier said than done but try not to stress too much.

[Alice1983]

I am so sorry, that wasnt meant as it sounds. Sorry if I upset anyone. I couldn't find how to edit it either? x

[Wharm14]

It's ok Alice 1983, I didn't take it that way but I can see how it could be upsetting to people. When you want a baby, it seems the whole world can be against you, even yesterday as we were sat having lunch, a young family came and sat next to us, with a cute 4 year old boy. So far, no problem. Then they ordered food and the husband proudly told the waitress they wouldn't be having alcohol cause his wife was pregnant. I just lost it and had to run off to the loos to cry my eyes out.
When the thing you want most in the world seems to be happening for everyone else and not for you, it's so hard to cope with and put a brave face on. I'll eventually have to go back to work next week and I don't know what I'm going to say. No one knew I was pregnant yet obviously but they're all going to ask why I was off. Do I just say I was ill or do I tell them the truth?
I've started bleeding today with full on period strength, I'm ok apart from bad period pains so I'm just taking it easy on the sofa with chocolate and my lovely DH looking after me. Lots of hugs and cuddles are helping me get through it.
Miscarriage seems to be something that is hard for us to talk about from what I've read so far, I'm still not far enough through it to know how I'll feel about telling people. The only people who know so far are my parents and brother.
Everyone will feel differently about this subject, there's no right or wrong way to react, just be kind to each other.

[willitbe]

Its ok Alice! Thank you for your apology. There is no edit facility on MN, you can ask for the message to be removed, but in this case, I don't think it is necessary. I only wanted you to be aware for another time, hope that is ok.

Wharm - sorry to hear that the miscarriage has started, I am pleased to hear that your dh is looking after you. It is a personal thing of what you tell whom, I generally tell those who I have told I was pregnant, and try to avoid telling others as it can lead to some awkward reactions. But the most important thing is that you do whatever feels right for you.

[Newtobecomingamum]

So so sorry to hear you news. It's so difficult to know what to say. You are in my thoughts and I will say a prayer for you tonight xx

[Alice1983]

Thank you Willitbe and sorry again. I suppose I was trying to be positive in the wrong way. Wharm14, I know exactly what you mean about the world being against you (I felt like this last year) I was 12/13 WKS. I still sometimes feel like that now (TTC). I would talk about it, with people, with anyone. When this happened to me, I thought I was alone, and I decided to be open about it, and mentioned it to a few friends, work colleagues and strangers, and it is amazing the advice people have for you, and many of the people I told then opened up about their situations. This was my therapy. But this may not work for you, so you have to do what your instinct tells you. Look after yourself X