How did you inform work about pregnancy?

[Chickenandpenguin]

I ask as this is my third pregnancy with the same employer in 4 years - which I feel horrendous about. I'll have been back at work for 18 moths when I go off for approx 7 mths. The last 2 times I have told my boss face to face. When I returned after ds2 I told her that we wouldn't be having more (as that's what I 100% believed at the time). So I almost feel as if I've lied to her. Things are very high pressure at work - teacher/ofsted etc as well.
I've been debating emailing her so that I can say everything I want to clearly rather than babbling and sweating in her office. I feel I need to apologise for unintentionally misleading her and also putting additional pressure on the team at such a tough time. Which I can better explain via email. I'm just not sure if it's the wrong way to tell her? It seems a bit off somehow.

Also - when I told her about my second pregnancy she was obviously very unhappy. She managed to hide it but after a few seconds of anger etc I feel like it'll avoid that awful reaction again! And I'm a wimp and dreading the conversation too if I'm honest.

I think in person is better. I had two with two different employers and did it face to face both times. Both times I had been employed less than a year when I told them and about 18 months by the time I went off on maternity leave.

Tell her face to face, for sure. You have done nothing wrong. Do not apologise AT ALL or you instantly put her as a wounded party and you in the wrong.

A quick, "I need to let you know that I'm expecting and due at x date. I will work with you draw up a plan for comprehensive cover while I am out." Is sufficient. Follow with an email saying " as per our talk today..." and then the text above.

Just don't go into this apologising, it sets the wrong tone entirely!

And congratulations :)

Hmm, I am torn on the not apologising thing (and facing a similar situation myself, having only been in my new job for 5 weeks before I got pregnant!).

Having been on the other side of the fence with my nanny, who got pregnant and then took numerous days/weeks off sick before then being signed off for good at only 17 weeks (with me having to pay statutory sick pay of thousands of pounds and arrange childcare for a disabled child, with no notice at all whilst juggling a long-hours stressful job in the City), I have to say that actually an apology would have been nice.

She was completely within her rights to get pregnant and couldn't help being signed off but still I really think saying sorry about the effect this had on us as a family would really have gone a long way. Of course I didn't make her feel at all bad about anything and went out of my way to be supportive, but deep down I have to say I was very stressed by it all.

So when I tell work (which I am putting off until I am 20 weeks), even though I work for a very big firm and no one will be personally put out, I will be very apologetic about having got pregnant so soon after starting.

With my 1st I told my boss face to face but I was very ill and this was quite early on in the pregnancy. I'm 17 weeks with my 2nd, same employer, different boss and dreading telling them. I'll be running 2 maternity leaves together and I'm not sure how they'll take that. I know it shouldn't make a difference but they are a massive employer and I get statutory so they can afford. I'd feel bad if I was in a situation like Dimple had or a small employer

I phoned her and said yeah, the reason I've been off two weeks is t because I be got a virus it's because I'm pregnant. Surprise! She was happy :)

Thanks for the replies. I agree skipton in that ultimately I've nothing to apologise for. But it's going to be a huge PITA for her which she knows I know. And that I said I'd had my last which was obviously untrue. I generally have quite a good working relationship with her which id like to maintain as much as possible.
I'm worried that by not writing it down that what I'm trying to say won't be clear. I tend to witter abs gap fill with crass jokes when nervous :/ but then I worry that emailing her is inappropriate and rude somehow. Bleurgh. Im massively overthinking this I know but I feel it's so important she gets how I feel about everything and that my commitment to work etc is still the same.