I have calmed down a bit now, had a bath and something to eat......
No, i think he has a problem - he's one of those people who have a tendency to carry on drinking and drinking once hes had one thats it. He cannot just have the one. The man he is going round with has some sort of depression, my OH is 32 this man is 55 and going through some sort of midlife crisis, he is my good friends husband. He doesn't go to work and drinks as soon as his wife leaves for work in the morning - he's straight on the phone to my OH telling him to come round for a drink etc....normally OH works during the day and doesn't engage, but he cannot work when the weather is bad ie very wet or high winds due to the nature of the job, it was raining today so work was cancelled. Fair enough. OH said he was going into town to get some bits and if i wanted anything, all i wanted was a can of coke. That was 11am, he said he would be an hour tops. He came back at 3pm (no can of coke may i add) , i needed the car quickly as needed to pick up the little one at 315, so was a quick exchange of handing the key to me, i had suspicions he was probably out drinking with this bloke, i had text him earlier that day and he avoided answering when i asked if he was with this bloke (obvious he was). He then took his work van and went (presuming he went to drop said bits off at his work place). I text him round 4ish and asked if he could come back as not feeling good and to make tea etc.....said he was on his way (always says this and i know its not so) so i get stressed, worried - he's obviously with this bloke, obviously drink driving, what if he has an accident? what if the police stop him? what if i go into labour? then i discover he is at the local pub. Am fuming mad. I came on here wrote the first message. Put little one in the car, Packed HIS bag and was about to march it down the pub when i met him half way - exchanged a few shouts through the wound down window. Came home half hour later - i needed to wind down as so upset and angry. He had ordered a chinese - my 11 and 10 year old so he was acting drunk when he came in. Went in the bedroom and he's completley passed out on the bed asleep.
Text friend (whose husband is the one with the drink problem) pre-warned her as she was coming home from work. She said he has been under a lot of stress and having problems again with his depression and how unfair it is to drag myself and my other half into there problems.
But i think, if it wasn't her husband he was out drinking with then it could of been someone else. I am not prepared to blame this bloke for leading him astray. He should know better. He has his own mind and knows how upset i get when he does this kind of thing.
I have tried talking to him when he's sober. He says he promises he wont do it blah blah blah but then says baby will be late anyway as the others where (despite the fact i have been having lots and lots of stop starting since 35 weeks).
Meanwhile i am dealing with other emotions and generally feeling a bit crap and low in general. I don't get out much lately and don't really see anyone so i have really ploughed myself into my business to keep busy and take my mind of it. I feel all the usual insecurities ie feeling fat/ugly unwanted etc and he is adding to this. he is so snappy all the time with me - christ he wont even rub my back or make me a cup of tea even when am crying in pain with spd or in the beginning HG he's just so cold.
He only gives me attention when he wants sex.
I just don't know what to do, I am due next Thursday and i am 100% today won't be the last of this sort of behavior.
In hindsight i should have left him a long time ago.
I have been nothing but 100% commited throughout our 12 - almost 13 year relationship. We have been engaged now for over a year, tht was a joke! tells me its not the right time to get married yet. WTF? 13 years and 4 kids and its still not the right time??
Everyone thinks its funny and am sick of being the butt of the family jokes about marriage.
All i want is a loving supportive partner, a marriage and to be respected and loved.
I am getting the total polar opposite